Our Choice
by PenelopeJess
Summary: They've had enough of it. And they're making a choice for him, and for themselves. UPDATED with an EPILOGUE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any storylines used on the show before I posted this (Of course, coincidences are definitely not intended. lol)

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Meredith Grey walked through the hallway, head buried in the chart.

"Hey." a voice greeted her softly. She recognised it. It was the soft, affectionate, slightly fliratious voice of her ex-boyfriend, who happened to be her boss, who happened to be married. She looked up, surprised. Or at least, tried to look as surprise as she can.

"Hey!" she breathed out, just about to explain why she wasn't present that morning to walk Doc with Derek, the elevator bell rang. The door opened and a familiar red head walked right out, towards them. But Meredith didn't notice it until she spoke. "Hey!" She greeted cheerfully, her friendly gaze directed to Meredith instead of Derek. "Hey!" she responded, about to come up with some excuse for standing in front of Derek. Her eyes darted to him almost expecting him to help, but Derek's head was buried into his chart. _Ok..._

"Uhmm, actually, there's somewhere I need to be." she said quickly, then walked off. Derek looked up from his chart, his eyes shifted between Addison and Meredith quickly and place his focus back onto his patient's chart again. "Uhh, yea. I do, too." he said, then walked into the opposite direction briskly. Addison stood there, mouth gaping open as she watch both person head away from her.

"Yea, well. There's somewhere I need to be... too." she said, mainly to herself.

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_You're married, Derek. What are you playing at? We're friends, only friends. You can't keep stringing me along. I need to move on!_ Meredith thought to herself. Her legs bringing her quickly towards the darkened corridor where empty gurneys were place. The only thing that was lighting up the entire place was probably the vending machine that was leaning against the wall on the opposite side. She needed to be alone, to think. She was slowly getting over Derek, or at least, trying to, and accepting him as a friend only because he offered. Besides, she needed a friend right now. The whole bad-sex-with-George issue was causing her friends to practically turn against her.

She took a turn, heading towards the usual gurney that she sat on for thinking. Meredith looked up, stopping in her tracks when she saw someone already there before her. It wasn't Cristina, it wasn't Izzie, it wasn't Alex, and it definitely wasn't George. The person lifted her head and their gaze locked. Meredith gasped softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry... Dr. Montgomery Shepherd. I thought..." "No, it's alright." she said, brushing a hand through her red hair. "I should just..." "No, it's ok. Stay." Meredith insisted. Addison looked to her for a moment then leaned back against the wall. Her legs were brought up to her chest, her eyes distant. Meredith had definitely not seen her like this before. The Addison she knew, the Addison in front of the many hospital staff was firm, confident and brilliant. That Addison she had seen knew what she was doing each time. Meredith made her way cautiously towards her, then stopped a safe distance away from the gurney Addison sat on, leaning her back against the wall opposite her. There was a moment of awkward silence, but they knew, they were thinking.

"You are his wife." Meredith blurted out, almost too firmly. Surprised, Addison looked up at her. "Sometimes I don't feel like his wife." she said with a shrug. "I'm trying to move on." Meredith admitted, now looking up to face Addison straight on. "You know that, right?"

Addison looked away, her fingers absent-mindedly playing with her wedding ring. "Yea." she said, softly at first, then swallowed. "Yea, I guess."

Meredith pushed herself off the wall and slided up onto the gurney Addison was sitting on. She looked to Addison, waiting for more from the older lady, as though she was expecting Addison to start blaming her for all the distance Derek is keeping with her. But she said nothing.

"What is he playing at?" Meredith finally asked, now leaning against the wall behind her, legs dangling off the edge of the gurney.

_Why is she actually talking to me?_ Addison wondered, but simply shrugged at Meredith's question. There was that moment of silence again. "Meredith..." she said, turning towards the blonde intern. "I'm...I'm sorry if I had cause you any--"

"No, don't be." Meredith cut her off, her eyes now locked with Addison's. "If anyone should be, it's Derek." she explained, almost insisting that it is the fact. "He's stringing both of us along, and I'm sure you know that. He's married to you, he chose you, and yet he's still making eyes at me."

"I guess you can say that." Addison admitted with a laugh.

"It's true, Dr. Montgomery Shep--"  
"Addison. We're not being professional now. If I can call you Meredith, you can call me by my first name." Addison smiled. Returning one of her own, Meredith nodded.

"He loves you, you know." Addison said. It hurt her to say it, but it's true. On Christmas Day, out of all days, her husband had admitted to have fallen in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. _Whatever._ Meredith pounded a fist on the gurney they sat on and looked up at the attending.

"I know! And I don't want that!" Meredith said, her eyes flashing with anger and confusion at the same time. "I'm not going to lie, Addison. I still am in love with your husband, but I'm moving on. _Trying_ to move on."

"Maybe I should have made him signed the papers." Addison said, almost softly. "Then maybe all these wouldn't have happened. Then it wouldn't have hurt so bad, for all of us. You know, it probably may have been alot better if he did sign the papers." Meredith only shook her head.

"No! He did not tell me that he was married, you did. And you have every right to fight for your marriage. Whatever you have done in the past, is the past." she said. Addison cocked an eyebrow at the intern. "I know I sound crazy saying this because Derek was my boyfriend, but it's true!"

Addison could only shake her head with a laugh. "You know, Meredith. Sometimes I wish he had signed the papers. Sometimes it's just so hard to have him with me while he's barely there." Then Meredith sat up straight suddenly, her body turned fully to Addison.

"You know what? We should make him choose. Once and for all. You, or me. In front of us, right in our faces." she said, her eyes with determination.

_It's too hard._ Addison thought. Meredith was right, but she didn't want to stand in front of her husband, with his ex-girlfriend and face the fact that for a 50-percent chance, she is going to hear her husband pick his ex-girlfriend over her, in front of her face. So instead of agreeing, she just shrugged. "You know, maybe we could just help him choose." she suggested, turning to Meredith herself. Their eyes locked for seconds, then Meredith nodded.

"You're right." she said softly, starting to lean forward. Her eyes drifting down to Addison's lips. Before Addison could react, she could feel Meredith's lips on hers, her tongue working to part them. Surprising herself, Addison gave in, kissing back.

The beeping of one of their pagers pierced through the silence, snapping the both of them back to reality. They pulled away, their eyes still locked onto each other's. Addison's hands worked towards the side of her waist and pulled out her pager, her eyes breaking off the connection and looked down.

"I'm sorry. I... I have to go." she said, pushing herself off the gurney and dashed off.

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**Author's Note : **I got bored, and creative and decided to try something new. I've never written such fics beforeso I'vedecided to give it a try.Not putting a pre-warning at the top was actually intentional because I didn't want you all to know what to expect in the end, you know.I am alsounsure of whether if I should go on with this story because I don't know how you guys will like it. I already have in mind on how to continue the story but still, I'd love to know what you all think.Let me know if you think I should or should not continue with it.)

- Jessica


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note : **I know that some of you who have reviewed did not like the idea of the Addison/Meredith pairing. But I have gotten a majority of reviews asking me to continue with the story, so I am going to do just that. My apologises to those who did not like the idea of this fic.

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Addison turned a corner into the room and cleared her throat, trying to shove the incident that just happened to the back of her mind. She wanted to concentrate on the case she has on hand at the moment. "Alright, Dr. Stevens. What do we have here?" she asked, pulling out the chart hanging at the end of the bed as her eyes scanned through the information on it.

"Uhmm, Mrs. Henderson, female, 32... ..." the intern's voice droned on. Addison already knew what was going on with the patient, but this was a protocol for interns, for them to present the patient, make sure they know what they're doing, putting theories into practice. Her mind wandered off, bringing her back the incident where she sat on the gurney thinking about her marriage. Her marriage, with her husband. She has a husband. Then it was with Meredith walking in on her, and how it turned into the both of them having an actual, decent conversation, and how it ended up with both of them kissing each other. Kissing each other.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?" Izzie called out. Addison snapped out of her thoughts and looked up. "Uhmm, treatment?" she asked, flipping over to the next piece of paper on the chart in pretendance of looking through it. Izzie started off again, then Addison nodded. "Alright," she said, handing over the chart to the intern. "Get it done, and page me if anything goes wrong."

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Meredith watched on as the redhead rushed out of the dimmed corridor of gurneys and out of her sight. She slumbed back against the wall behind her, her fingers touching her lips subconsciously. _I kissed her..._ she thought, almost like in a dreamy state. _What is wrong with me? I kissed my ex-boyfriend's wife!_ Then, the loud beeping of her pager snapped her out of the state, causing her to jerk up from her position. "911, Amanda Rowlands." she mumbled to herself and leaped off the gurney.

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"Hey!" Derek called out, catching a glimpse of his wife as he looked up briefly from his chart. Addison winced at the voice. Normally, her heart would have fluttered with joy when her husband, who had been ignoring her, calls out to her instead of the other way round. She continued walking, pretending not to hear him. Her mind was still filled with the confusion from what had happened before, and she definitely didn't need to see Derek, or anything that reminded her of Meredith at the moment.

Derek pinned the pen to the breast pocket of his scrubs and handed the chart conveniently to one of the nurses as he passed the station, then jogged up towards his wife. "Addie!" he called out again. This time, Addison stopped, forcing a smile when she turn around to face him. "Hey!" she greeted, then turned away from him again and started walking, like she was on her way to check on a patient. Derek jogged up, falling into pace beside her. He studied her face for a moment and frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly concerned. Addison turned to him with a reassuring smile. "Nothing." she lied. "What's up?" Then Derek stood in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. "I was thinking we could have lunch together today. There's something I need to talk to you about." he said. Addison raised an eyebrow at him, now interested in what they could possibly talk about. "Ok." she nodded, agreeing to the idea.

"Ok, then. I'll see you at the cafeteria at one." he instructed, then leaned forward and gave her a peek on her cheek.

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The 911 situation was a force alarm. Meredith sighed wearily as she headed out of the room, slotting the patient's chart back into the pile filed neatly by the nurses' station. Then she heard a familiar voice. Two familiar voices, in fact. She turned to the source and froze. It was Derek and Addison, standing in the middle of the hallway, conversing. Derek had a smile on his face, so did Addison. _I_ _wonder what they are talking about. Is she going to tell him? _she wondered. Then Derek leaned forward with a kiss on Addison's cheeks. As he walked off, Addison paced around on the spot for a moment and tuck her hair behind her ears. Meredith leaned against the counter, suddenly finding herself mesmerised by the other woman's beauty.

Addison turned around, looking up briefly and their eyes locked again. But it was just for a brief moment before the two turned away from each other, awkward. Randomly, Meredith grabbed a file out from the pile and opened it, head lowered down as she pretended to read it. It was only until she hear the clicking sound of her heels fade away that she look up again.

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Addison sat at her usual table with a book, a plate of salad and a small bottle of mineral water. She reached out, taking a sip of water from the straw in her bottle while her eyes were focused on the contents of the book. "Hey!" Derek greeted, settling down next to her with a plate of pasta. "Hey..." she said, without looking up from the book. She could feel Derek frowning as he stared down at her lunch. Addison wedged a bookmark between the book and looked up, opening the packet of salad dressing.

"Don't start your 'I can't believe you're eating that' speech, Derek." she said flatly, emptying the thousand island salad dressing onto the top of the green leaves. "And yes, it fils my stomach. You men never will get it." she shook her head. Derek only laughed, poking his fork into the pasta on his plate and took a large mouthful of it.

"So," Addison started. "What is this important thing that you wanted to talk about?" she asked, tossing her salad with the plastic fork. Derek looked up, taking a swig from the can of coke.

"I never said it was important. It was just a thing that I wanted to discuss with you about, which I'm already sure that you will agree to." he said, a sly smile stretching across his face.

"Hey!" a familiar voice from behind shouted cheerfully. Addison felt her muscles stiffened. The sound of a tray landing gently onto the table behind her then put her at ease. It was Meredith, and the greeting was thankfully, not directed to her, or to Derek. However, her attention wasn't on her husband anymore, she was eavesdropping on the conversation behind her, and she couldn't help it.

"You never believe what I did today!" It was Cristina's voice.  
"I got a case on this dude with a fractured finger? It was sooo cool." George showed off.  
"Well guess what I got? A false alarm 911 of Amanda Rowlands." Meredith grumbled.

_Her voice..._ Addison thought, suddenly getting attracted to what she had thought of as whiny before.

"Addie?" Derek called out, waving a hand in front of his wife's face as she stared into space. "Huh?" she blurted out, suddenly aware that Derek was sitting right next to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, digging into his pasta again, but his eyes that were on his wife shone with concern. Addison poke at her salad again, pushing the pile of greens and chicken shreds into her mouth. "Uhmm..yea." she lied. "I was just thinking..about a patient." she covered up. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that we should build a house, on our land." he repeated, taking another sip from the coke can, his eyes on her. Addison now look up to her husband, surprised. "Wow." she managed. "I mean, that's great! Totally!" she exclaimed, genuinely happy._ He's really trying._ she thought happily.

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"Penny for your thoughts?" Izzie's voice pierced through the quiet ambience in the house. Meredith looked up blankly at her, the cup of coffee still in her hands. "Oh? No, well..it's nothing." she said, taking a sip of the brown liquid.

"Ookay then." Izzie said, clearly unconvinced. She placed the cup back onto the rack and dried her hands. "Well, I'm hitting the sacks. 'Night Meredith." she said, starting out of the kitchen. Meredith nodded in response. "'Night, Izzie."

But she had lied. What Meredith had been thinking about wasn't nothing at all. In fact, it was something that had been bugging her the whole day. She kissed Addison. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. The woman who walked into the hospital one day and just ruin everything in her life. Took her McDreamy, took her McDog, and is living her McLife. The woman that she wanted so much to hate but could not bring herself to. The woman that admitted to a patient that she was the one that cheated on her husband, the woman that is so annoyingly nice and kind to everyone she knows, the woman who didn't even hold a grudge against Meredith herself. The woman that she kissed today. _Why?_ she asked herself. _Why did I kiss her when she suggested that we should help Derek make a choice about us?_ she thought, taking another gulp of the now luke warm coffee. Suddenly she wished she's holding a cup of warm milk in her hands right now. Caffine and Addison are going to keep her awake longer than she wants to. _And why did she kiss me back?_ she wondered. But unfortunately, the answers to those questions can never be found. At least, not tonight.

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Addison slided under the sheets of their bed as her husband took ran a hand through his wavy hair and settled down next to her. She plopped down comfortably onto the large pillow under her head. "So, I was thinking," Derek started, pulling the side of the sheets up and sliding under them. "I'll call up a contractor tomorrow afternoon, have him bring the designs down in the evening, then we can pick the house we want." he said, propping an elbow on the pillow as he look down at his wife. "How does that sound?" Addison flipped on her side with a smile. "Sounds perfect." she grinned, hoping that Derek would lean forward and at least give her a peek on the lips, ora goodnight kiss in any way. But instead, hejust smiledinreturn, thenlay himself downin bed and turn his back against her. With a sigh, she turned away.

"'Night, Derek." she whispered as he tugged at the night lamp, putting the room into darkness. But there was no response. Then, the question came back, bugging her again. _Why did I kiss Meredith back, why?_ And it repeated itself in her mind over and over again until she drifted off to sleep.

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**Author's Note : **I am going to take this slow, have them recognise their feelings for each other etc. I hope you guys like it!

- Jessica


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note : **I just want to say that the first paragraph of the first chapter of the story, is from Grey's Anatomy. I got a review asking if I'm psychic. lol. No, I'm not. I saw the clip on yahoo before the episode aired officially and borrowed it for my story. I thought it would be a good scene which will lead to how Meredith and Addison came to where they are now (in this fic). So no, the first paragraph of my first chapter, is **not** my creation.

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"Look alive, people!" Miranda Bailey's voice rang in their ears as they stood up readily, waiting for their assignments. She eyed each one of them up and down then started. "Karev and Yang, pit. Stevens, you're with Burke today. George, you're with Dr. Shepherd. He needs a hand in surgery today."

"I can't believe I got stuck with you again." Cristina grumbled, pushing her way out of the locker room with Alex. And he shook his head at her comment. "You don't want to be in _my_ shoes right now." he bit back. Cristina turned to him with a killer glare. "Shut up, Alex."

"Move it!" she yelled, chasing Izzie and George out of the locker room. Meredith started whipping her hair up into a messy bun behind her hair. "What about me?" she asked, not sure whether to hope that she'll be with her resident today, or not. Miranda raised an eyebrow at Meredith and look her up and down. "What?" Meredith frowned.

"I'm wondering if you did anything wrong, Grey." Miranda said, straight-forwardness was always her speciality. Meredith followed behind the resident as they exited the locker room. "I didn't do anything." she said. _Except for kissing Addison._ the thought popped up in her mind suddenly. Meredith shove it down.  
"Really?" Miranda ask, grabbing a chart from the station. "You've got a special request again." she said, turning around to face Meredith. Meredith felt her heart stop a beat. Somehow, she already knew who asked for her, but she had to confirm.  
"The same, special request?" she asked, placing her words carefully. When Addison first came into town and found Meredith and Derek together, the very next day, she had asked for Meredith to work with her the entire day. And it was upon a special request made by Addison herself.  
"The same special request." Miranda confirmed. "Good luck, Grey. You're going to need it." she said, then went off to her patient's room.

Meredith breathed out nervously, hands shoved in her lab coat's pocket as she headed off in the other direction. _Oh, you never know._ she thought.

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_Meredith._ That was the first word that came into Addison's mind when she woke up that morning. The night before, she had fallen asleep wondering why Meredith had kissed her, and especially, why she actually kissed her back. She had no reason to, she has a husband. She has been dating men for all her life, then got married to Derek, a man, for more than 11 years. She turn around, eyeing the clock with a sigh, then thanking her lucky stars that she only has a surgery in the afternoon or she would have been very late for work.

"Derek?" she called out softly, noticing his side of the bed empty. There was no response. She pulled the covers off herself and headed into the kitchen, frowning to see that his shoes and coat are gone. _Must have already gone to the hospital_. she thought to herself. It was all too familiar. This had happened many times when they were back in New York, and it wasn't something that she hasn't already been used to. _I think we need to talk._ she thought, and by the mention of 'we', she wasn't referring to Derek and herself, but to Meredith and herself.

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"Miranda!" Addison called out from across the hallway. Dr. Bailey turned around expectantly to find Addison making her way quickly towards her, in heels. She looked down at Addison's footwear and shook her head. "I never figured how you can walk that fast in those." she said.

"I need a favour." Addison said, her eyes shifting around the almost empty hallway. Miranda raised an eyebrow at Addison and placed an arm on her hip. "Oh. The great Dr. Montgomery Shepherd needs my help." she said smugly. Addison glared at her, only causing Miranda to chuckle. "What is it, Shepherd." she said, turning around, making her way towards the locker room.

"Could you... assign Meredith to me today?" she blurted out. That caught Miranda's attention. She stopped, turning around to face Addison. "Why?"

Addison simply look down at her, folding her arms in front of her chest authoritatively. "Yes, or no, Miranda?" she asked, waiting for an answer. Miranda cocked an eyebrow at her curiously but didn't push for an explanation.

"Alright, you got it." she said.

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Meredith made her way down across the nurses' station, quickening her pace as she saw the familiar redhead not far away in front of her. "Dr. Montgomery Shepherd!" she called out, picking up on her speed.

Addison slowed down, but did not turn around. She knew exactly whose voice it belonged to. She had always recognise that voice anywhere. Before, it was the voice of the girl that won half of her husband's heart, maybe more than that, she don't know. But now, it was the voice of the woman that kissed her on the lips.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." Meredith repeated, now walking beside Addison. "Morning, Dr. Grey." Addison greeted her professionally. Meredith was just about to ask about the case she was assigned to but saw no file in Addison's hands. When they turned into a quieter corner, Meredith understood the purpose of Addison requesting for her.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd," Meredith started, then lowering her voice as she continued. "About yesterday, I'm..." she paused. What was she suppose to say? Apologise? Addison stopped, turning to her expectantly, her arms folded in front of her chest as she looked down at the shorter intern, her eyes betraying no emotions. Meredith looked up at her and drew in a deep breathe, gazing into Addison's green eyes with her own. "Actually, no." she said firmly. "I'm not sorry."

Addison drew in a breathe and look away. "I have a husband, Meredith." she said softly. Now, it was Meredith who folded her arms in front of her chest. "What happened to the whole 'Why don't we help him choose?'" she demanded. Addison's gaze started shifting around her, trying to avoid the question, or at least, come up with a decent answer.

"Is there a problem?" a voice spoke up cheerfully from no where. The both of them stiffened, then turned to the source of voice only to see Preston Burke heading towards them, a grin on his face as his eyes met Addison's. Meredith unfolded her hands and now place them behind her back, like an intern would when talking to someone of a higher authority.

"Dr. Burke. I was just ahh, seeking a consult from Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." she lied through her teeth. Preston looked at her with a raised eyebrow, as though expecting more as Meredith did not excuse herself from the both of them, like most interns would when two of the higher rank staff approach one another. "It's uhh, for a case." Meredith said.

"A case?" Burke repeated questioningly. Meredith nodded with a smile. "Yes, Dr. Burke. A case." Looking from Addison and Meredith, Burke nodded in acknowledgement. "Alright, then. Don't let me interupt your...consultation." he said, walking away from the two woman.

"Uhh, get a CT scan, do an ultra sound..." Addisonrambled on, hoping to make what Meredith had said believable while both women had their eyes pinned on Preston's back as he walked away, not wanting to risk resuming to their actual conversation with him around.

When he was out of sight, and clearly out of ear shot, Meredith looked to Addison questioningly. "Are you?" she asked, pushing for an answer. "Are you sorry?"

Addison looked away at the question. She didn't know the answer. Does she still feel that things are hopeless with Derek where one moment he shows that he tries and the next moment, things are back to the way they were like back in New York? And most importantly, was she sorry she kissed back? She looked down, twirling her fingers, watching the dancing reflection of the wedding ring on her finger. Meredith folded her arms back in front of her chest. "Addison..." she started.

"No." Addison cut her off decidedly. At the same time where Meredith look up, Addison lifted her eyes to meet Meredith's. Their gaze locked for more than twice this time. "I'm not sorry."

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**Author's Note : **I know this chapter is shorter than the previous one. But I hope you still like it!

- Jessica


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note : **Thank you all for your reviews! Here is the next chapter!

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_No I'm not?_ Addison thought, surprised by her own answer. Meredith, pleasantly surprised, studied the older woman's face.  
"You look surprised." she noted, now leaning against the wall, her voice clearly happy. Addison frowned, leaning against the wall herself.  
"Yea," she admitted softly. "I am." Then, Addison straightened up suddenly, her green eyes widen slightly. Taking cue that someone was about to walk in on them again, Meredith did the same and turned around expectantly. Crap. she thought as her eyes fall onto the man walking towards them.

"Hey." Derek greeted the both of them, looking curiously to Addison and Meredith, his gaze lingering longer on Meredith unexpectedly. Meredith cleared her throat uncomfortably and looked away. "You two are friends already? I saw you leaning against the wall talking." he asked, pinning the pen in his hand to the pocket and folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm going." Meredith announced, flashing a brief smile to Derek before walking away, careful not to make eyecontact with Addison. If Derek is to know about it, Addison will have to be the one to tell him. Derek watched on, his curiosity grew as Meredith walked away briskly.

"What was that all about?" he asked, his gaze now turning to his wife.  
"She's assigned to me for today." Addison said. It was the truth, but not the whole truth. Derek didn't need to know that Addison had requested for Meredith, and he definitely didn't need to know about what happened between them yesterday.  
"Oh." he responded. Then, his pager beeped. He pulled out the black device, frowning at the message. "Alright, I have to take this." he announced before walking away from Addison without even looking up to her.

"Alright." she said, not even sure if he had heard it.

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It was an emergency surgery that had to be performed that morning. Addison struggled to see through all the blood and damage in the patient's body that lay motionless on the operating table in front of her. The surgical tools work themselves to part the tissues, her hands controlling them to try to fix the damage. And unexpectedly, blood squirted out, shocking Addison herself.

"Blood pressure's falling." the nurse announced. Addison dropped the surgical scissors in her right hand and picked up the pump, clearing the blood from the damage around the tissue. But even though working as fast as she could, the heartbeat line started beeping in an unsteady rhythm. "We're loosing her." the same nurse announced. Addison looked up to Meredith expectantly, giving a nod in acknowledge.

"Charged 150." the nurse said.  
"Clear!" Meredith said, then pressed the irons onto the patient's body. The heartbeat line remained unstable. Receiving another nod from Addison, Meredith turned to the scrub nurse behind her. "Charge to 250." she instructed.  
"Charged!" the nurse announce after pushing several buttons on the machine.  
"Clear!" she said again. This time, the heart skipped a beat and stabilised itself.

After awhile, it happened again. The patient's blood pressure started dropping and her heart started giving way. Knowing that death for this patient was inevitable when the machine still shows a flatline after a second attempt to bring her back, Addison released the surgical tools in her hands and looked down with a mix of disappointment and anger. Finally, she let out a breathe and pulled down her surgical mask. She couldn't do it.

"Call it, Grey." she simply said, turning away from the body.

"Time of death, 9:47." Meredith announced.

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"Hey." a voice called out gently as a shadow casted onto the floor of the empty corridor of gurneys. The afternoon sun poured into the corridor, lightening it up, but it was still deserted.

Addison looked up expectedly with a smile. "Hey." she greeted back. She had her knees drawn up to her chest, her elbows resting on her knees with her back leaning against the wall. Just the position she was in when Meredith and her met yesterday.

"Looks like this could be our secret meeting place." Meredith joked, making her way slowly towards Addison and sat down beside her.  
"Yea." Addison forced a laughed, her gaze shifted to the floor.  
"It's not your fault, you know." Meredith said, as though reading her thoughts. It was all too familiar for Addison, and somehow, it hurts. It used to be Derek sitting beside her after the unsuccessful surgeries, comforting her. But right now, it was someone else. For awhile then, it had been someone else. Addison let out a heavy sigh, allowing the blonde intern to pull her close. As she felt Meredith's hands rubbing gently at her shoulders, Addison allow herself to gradually lean down on her shoulder. Slowly, Meredith lean her head down on top of Addison's, her other hand stroking Addison's hair comfortingly. They stayed in the position for a while, eyes closed, one giving comfort, the other taking it in.

A beeping sound then shot through the comforting silence, the both of them pulling away almost reluctantly, looking down to their pagers. "It's mine. Bailey." Meredith said, turning to Addison. "Are you going to be ok?"  
Addison gave her a reassuring smile and a nod. "Go on," she instructed, waving her hand as though to shoo her away. "Before Bailey blames me for keeping her intern away from her."

Meredith laughed, then planted a soft kiss on Addison's forehead before jogging away.

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"So, how was your day with the She-Shepherd?" Cristina asked, her teeth sinking into the sandwich from her lunchbox. Meredith looked up at her, surprised.

"Seriously?" she managed, chomping down the green leaves in her salad box.  
"Yea, seriously. A day with your ex-boyfriend's wife should be interesting. Did she threaten you?" Alex added as he settled down with them. Izzie shot him an evil glare, then turned to the rest of her interns. "Addison isn't that bad, really." she defended her. Then Meredith smiled secretly to herself, hoping that it wasn't caught by her friends.

"It was alright." she said, then added on quickly. "Surprisingly." And before Cristina could say anything else, Izzie shot her a look. "C'mon Cristina, she practically saved your life."

"She's right." Alex said pointedly. Then Cristina started defending herself.  
"I'm just saying! I mean, it would be interesting to spend a day with your ex-boyfriend's wife, right?" Everyone just looked at her. Cristina turned to Meredith, hoping that she would back her up. But instead, Meredith just shrugged, taking a sip from her soda can. At that, Cristina leaned back against her chair with a groan. "God, y'all are boring."

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"Meredith!" Derek called out, his eyes then shifted around subconsciously as though to check if any curious eyes were on him. None. He jog up to the blonde intern that stopped and turned to him.

"Hi!" Meredith greeted, almost surprise to see him. Derek smiled, guiding Meredith to a private space. "Are you...and Addison friends?" he asked, still unable to get that image of Meredith and his wife leaning against the same wall, talking. They seemed almost comfortable with each other. Meredith managed a surprise look, followed by a frown. "No." she laughed it off. "Why would you think that?"

Derek shrugged, shoving his hands into his lab coat's pockets. "No reason." he said, flashing her one of his McDreamy smiles.  
"Ook then," Meredith nodded. "I should... get going." she said, walking away from Derek.  
"Oh, uhm yea. Me too." Derek said, looking away as he scratched at his wavy hair uncomfortably, then walked into the opposite direction. _She sure have moved on fast. _Derek thought as he stole another glance at Meredith.

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"Hey, ready to go?" Derek approached his wife, already changed out of his scrubs and coat. Instead of sneakers, he wore a pair of black shoes. Addison pulled the clip off her pinned up hair and let the wavy curls fall down around her shoulders. She shook the mess off, combing a little at it with her fingers. "Yea." she said, picking up her briefcase from the table before heading to the elevator with her husband, arms linked.

"So, I called the contractor this afternoon." Derek said as they entered the elevator. _Contractor?_ Addison thought, almost forgetting that they are getting rid of the trailer. "Uh-huh." she responded, looking to Derek for him to go on. _How can I actually forget about that?_  
"He said he'll come look at the land as soon as we pick out the house we want." Derek said, now stepping out of the elevator with his wife as they reach the first floor.  
"We?" Addison looked to him. "I thought _I_ will be the one choosing the house?" she teased, absorbing all the attention Derek is giving her greedily, willing their conversation to go on.  
"Hmm..." he said, pretending to consider then turned to his wife as they make their way to the parking lot. "Alright, only _you_ get to choose the house, Queen of Passive Aggressiva." he said, a grin on his face. Addison smack him in the arm lightly.  
"And you do realise that if I were the Queen, you will be the King, right?" she pointed out as they slided into Derek's car.

He pushed the key into the slot, twisting it to start up the car's engine then reached out to pull his seatbelt over his body. "Well I don't know about that. Maybe I could be the slave." he played along. Addison shifted her body and turned to Derek with an raised eyebrow. "You? Actually _willing_ to be a slave?" she asked, not believing her ears. Derek laughed and gaze into his review mirror, backing his carout of the parking space. "Yea, me, _actually willing_ to be a slave for you. Tape it up, Addie, you'll never hear that again."

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Meredith watched on as the couple drove off, the sound of their car's engine covering the chatter of her friends trailing behind her. Her gaze that used to linger on Derek before was now on Addison.

"Hey, Meredith?" Izzie called out after sharing a laugh with Cristina and Alex. "Could we watch some of your mom's tapes tonight?" she asked, walking up to Meredith.

"Yea, sure." Meredith agreed, a smile on her face as she watch the three of them lit up with joy like lights on a Christmas tree. "We could make some popcorn too." Cristina suggested. "And hot chocolate. Yea, definitely hot chocolate." Meredith allow her smile to spread wider then nodded.

"Alriiight!" the three of them cheered, slapping each other high-fives.

But even with her friends over and her mother's surgical tapes playing, there will only be one word in her mind tonight--_"Addison"_.

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**Author's Note : **Do you think I should go more indepth into each scene? Lengthen it, continue the happenings like for example, going on to what Meredith, Cristina, Izzie and Alex did (their conversations etc.) while watching the medical tapes? Or is it just right the way I wrote it? I'd love to hear what you guys think. 

Hope you all like this chapter though!

- Jessica


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note : **Thank you all for your reviews and your thoughts/opinions to my question asked in the previous chapter. Here is the next chapter!

* * *

The door of the NICU room was pushed open gently, allowing light from the hospital's corridors to pour into the comfortably dimmed room. Inside, Addison sat by an incubator, a finger stroking gently down the arm of the tiny infant.

Meredith slided in, closing the door behind her softly. Addison smiled, knowing that the presence of this person didn't belong to Derek but to someone else. "I didn't ask for you." she said softly, almost like a smug remark. Meredith approached her, peeking down at the sleeping infant in the incubator.

"I was late today." she admitted. "Bailey thought it'd be a good punishment if I got stuck with you for the rest of today." she said, only causing Addison to laugh.

"How is she?" Meredith asked, her eyes gesturing to the infant Addison was stroking.  
"She's doing good. If she gain a few more pounds by tonight, she can be taken out of the incubator tomorrow morning. But we would need to keep her here for a day or two for observation before she can go home with her mother." Addison explained, a smile spread across her face as the infant stirred in her sleep. Meredith lean in, her blonde hair merging with Addison's red curls as she place a finger in and tickled lightly at the infant's sole. She twitched a little, causing Meredith to giggle. "She's beautiful." Meredith whispered. Addison only nodded silently.

After awhile of fondling over the baby, Addison pulled away, tying her hair up into a ponytail. "C'mon, Meredith. We have other patients to check on." she said.  
"But I don't want to leave her." Meredith pouted playfully, settling down on the chair Addison was sitting on before. Addison rolled her eyes and picked up the pile of charts she left on the armchair.  
"We'll come back later." she coaxed, starting to tug Meredith out of the chair. The blonde turn to her with puppy eyes.  
"Promise?"  
Addison laughed, nodding her head. "Alright, promise. Now let's go."

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Derek frowned as he caught the sight of Addison and Meredith walking out of the NICU together, a pile of files each of their hands. _Addie didn't request for Meredith, did she?_ he wondered. Knowing the two women's position, Derek had doubted that Miranda Bailey would actually place Meredith under Addison. Besides, the intern that had almost always assigned to Addison was Izzie. Shaking his head, Derek headed on to the scrub room in preparation for his surgery.

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"Dr. Bailey." Derek greeted as Miranda headed into the scrub room, preparing to scrub in while he was scrubbing out.  
"Dr. Shepherd." Miranda greeted back, looking at Derek oddly. It was rare that Derek would greet her with such formality.

"Did you assign Meredith to Addison?" he blurted out, pulling a couple of napkins out from the box to dry his hands. Miranda looked up at him with a frown.

"Yes, I did."  
"Why?" he couldn't help but ask.  
"Why not? There is alot Meredith could learn from Addison. And besides, she was late." Miranda said, pushing the button at the side of the sink with her elbow. Water poured down.

"Oh. So that was her punishment." Derek figured out. _And Addie didn't request for her._  
"Yes. Is there a problem, Dr. Shepherd?" Miranda's voice was professional as she rinsed the soap off her arms.  
"No... not at all." Derek reassured with a smile.  
"Good." Miranda simply said, then pushed open the door into the operating room.

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"We could have lunch together, today." Meredith suggested out of the blue as she and Addison returned to the NICU after all their patients have been checked. Addison looked up at her oddly.

"What?" Meredith asked. "You are always alone during lunch and I thought I could keep you company." she reasoned. Addison stood up from the chair and settled down on the couch while Meredith turned to face her.

"That's very kind of you, Meredith. But what about your friends?" she asked, not particularly believing her ears when Meredith suggested lunching with her.

"Well, I could tell them that you and I are stuck working on a case together, and I _had_ to have lunch with you because there's no other choice." Meredith shrugged. Addison raised an eyebrow at her as she folded her arms in front of her chest, legs crossed over each other. "You just had to make me the wicked witch, don't you?"

Meredith laughed. "It's not like I have a choice. Or they'd think you've kidnapped my soul and brainwashed me or something. Besides, I _want_ to have lunch with you, seriously."

Addison took awhile to consider it then shrugged. "Alright, sure." she agreed. Then both of them sat in silence for a moment.

"You know," Meredith started just as Addison look up at the same time, about to say something.  
"We should probably find a--" Addison continued, knowing they're both thinking about the same thing. Meredith turned around to her with a nod. "...deserted area?" she asked.  
"Yea." Addison agreed. "Just in case--"  
"Derek see us." Meredith ended the sentence for her.

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"Hey!" Cristina greeted as she settled down on the table with Alex and Izzie. George had been eating lunch with Callie ever since the Meredith-incident. Izzie and Alex looked up to her at the same time.  
"Where's Meredith?" she asked, pulling the chair in slightly as her gaze shifted back and forth between Izzie and Alex.  
"Having lunch with Satan." Alex informed, shoving a french fry into his mouth.  
"Seriously?" Cristina asked in disbelief.  
"Yea." Izzie shrugged. "She said something about being asked to work on a case with her over lunch."  
"Wow." Cristina muttered, picking up her tuna sandwich. "Bless her."

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"What have you got there?" Meredith asked as Addison entered the darkened room quickly, hoping that no one sees her. Meredith was already sitting by the table, her legs folded on the chair with her lunch box opened in front of her.

Addison pulled out the chair and placed two chocolate puddings down in front of her, settling down. Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Chocolate pudding for lunch?" she asked.  
"Yea." Addison nodded. "I'm in a mood for it. Besides, I'm not exactly hungry at the moment." she explained, then push one towards Meredith. "I got one for you too. What have you got?" she asked, pulling her chair closer to the table as she started to pull open the cover of the pudding.

"Ham and cheese sandwiches." she said, pulling out one and handling it to Addison. "And I've got one for you, too." she smiled. Addison looked up at her questioningly, knowing that obviously, the lunch was packed from home and prepared for only one person. Meredith grabbed Addison's hand and placed the sandwich onto her palm.

"Eat." she instructed. "Chocolate pudding only is obviously not enough for anyone."

Addison grinned as she took a bite into the sandwich, leaving the chocolate pudding on the table as dessert. "You know," she said between her bites, picking at the soft, white bread. "When you said 'deserted area', I thought you were referring to our secret meeting place." she said.  
Meredith cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh, so you do admit that that is our secret meeting place"  
Addison simply shrugged. "Well calling it 'the corridor with empty gurneys and a vending machine' would be too long." she explained, sharing a laugh with Meredith.  
"That place's a little too bright." Meredith said. "It's deserted, but bright. We wouldn't have anytime to scramble away if someone were to walk in on us." she explained, remembering that Derek and Preston had both walked in on them previously. "And you didn't bring any files with you?" she pointed out, recalling that she told Addison she was to inform her friends that she'll be working on a case with her over lunch. Meredith had expected Addison to bring in charts, or files, just in case any of them came looking for Meredith.

"It's dark in here, Meredith. It's not exactly a good lighting condition for anyone to read in. And besides, if we turn on the lights, anyone outside will actually have a better chance of seeing us having lunch together, including Derek. If the lights are switched off, people kinda get the idea that no one's in the room, you know." she reasoned.

"Hmm... I thought I should be the one pointing out the whole 'lights on and lights off' thing." Meredith narrowed her eyes at her.  
"Well, what can I say? Great minds think alike." Addison laughed.

And it's like the pagers were a curse to them, one started beeping. Addison place the half-eaten sandwich on top of the pudding cap and pulled her pager out in front of her, squinting under the absence of light. "It's Derek." she said, mildly surprised.

"Are you going to answer that?" Meredith looked up at her expectantly. "I don't know." Addison admitted. "Should I? I mean, he doesn't usually page me without needing a consult, you know." she explained, putting the pager back into her lab coat pocket.  
"Hmm..." Meredith started.  
"Oh my god." Addison exclaimed softly, her eyes widening.  
"What?" Meredith turned to where Addison was looking at.  
"Derek." Addison announced. "I think he's coming! Do something!" she panicked. Meredith unfold her legs and leaped off the chair, starting towards the exit of the room. Addison shook her head frantically. "No, he'll see you!" she said. Meredith rushed back.  
"Hide!" Addison hissed, her eyes fixed on Derek as the man whirled his head back and forth, looking for something, or someone--probably for Addison herself.

Meredith's eyes landed on the coffee table that thankfully, was covered with a table cloth that flows all the way down to the ground. She started over there, preparing to take cover when Addison shrieked.

"The lunchbox!" she cried, Meredith turned back and grabbed it. "Pudding!" Addison reminded her, picking up the pudding and tossed it to Meredith's outstretched hands. She caught it and slided under the coffee table as Derek turned into the room they were in with a smile, spotting Addison.

Knowing that their gaze had met, Addison's lips curled up into a smile as Derek pushed open the door into the room. She hooked her leg to the chair Meredith was on and pulled it under the table.

"Hey." he greeted her, walking around the table to give her a kiss on her forehead. "I've been looking everywhere for you." he said. "I paged you."

"I know." she said, leaning forward to give Derek a peck on his lips. "I was about to go looking for you." she half-lied. She was only thinking if she should answer his page. Derek pulled out the chair beside her and sat down, his eyes drifting down to the half-eaten sandwich slice, then to the chocolate pudding on the table.  
"Tell me you're eating more than just that." he said. He always had a problem with the Addison's eating habits because they aren't deemed as a normal, healthy diet by a doctor. And to Derek, you are suppose to have proper meals during mealtimes--a plate of spaghetti, a hamburger, something more than just a slice of sandwich with pudding, or salad. But Addison knew her own body well, and she always insisted that it was enough for her to grow, pointing out now and then that she was almost as tall as Derek from time to time.

"I am." Addison lied, taking another bite into the sandwich. _Like since when did he actually start caring?_ she thought. It wasn't that she minded though.

_Liar_. Meredith thought under the coffee table at Addison's answer, trying not to chuckle. She bit into her own sandwich and crossed her legs in her hiding place, leaning against the wall behind her as she listens on the conversation.

"So, why were you looking for me?" Addison asked.  
"The contractor for our house is coming this Sunday to look at the land that we are going to build our house on." Derek explained, reaching out for the chocolate pudding and opening it, snapping open the plastic spoon provided on top of the cover.

_A house? They're building a house? What's going to happen to the trailer?_ Meredith thought. It wasn't like she was intentionally eavesdropping. It's hard not to when she was in the same room as the Shepherds.

"He was going to come tomorrow but I told him I wasn't able to make it." Derek said. "Because I wanted to show you the land where I thought of having the house before making the final decision." he grinned. Addison looked to him with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you doing here in the dark anyway?" he asked, digging into the pudding.

"I needed a private enough place to think..about something." she covered up. "And you do realise that you're stealing my lunch, right?" she teased, hoping that it'll divert the topic, then opening her mouth as Derek directed the spoonful of pudding towards her.  
"Yea, I do. And now I'm giving it back to you." he said, laughing as Addison chomped down on the pudding. Licking the syrup off her lips, Addison tore out a piece of sandwich and fed it to Derek. While a smile hung on her face as she did so, her mind was whirling.

At the same time that she still love her husband deeply, Addison found herself slowly becoming attracted to Meredith.

* * *

**Author's Note : **I don't know about you guys but I love the lunch scene myself. LOL. I hope you all like it!

-Jessica


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note : **Thank you for your reviews! I realised that there wasn't as many reviews for the previous chapter compared to the rest. Not that I'm complaining but I'm wondering if it isbecause some of y'all didn't like it as much as the other chapters.  
I'd love it if you could tell me if you could let me know if there are ways to improve this fanfic. You know, like maybe I should make this particular character more realistic because blahblahblah, that sort of thing. I like to keep the characters in my fics as realistic and believable as possible.

Anyway, here is a new chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

The barkings started again. Addison stirred in her bed, throwing her pillow over her head in attempt to shut out the noise.

"It's your turn, Addie." Derek mumbled sleepily, tossing a pillow over his own head. Addison let out a grunt and sat up, rubbing the furry head of Doc's as it paddled around the bed to nudge at her.

"Alright, alright. Gimme a moment to get ready, Doc." she said, yawning as she slided off the bed.

Rubbing her eyes, Addison grabbed her black coat and pulled it over her pajamas, tying the belt around her waist. She ran a hand through her hair several times before shaking it out, checking in a reflection to make sure she looked sane enough to get out of the house. She reached out and pulled the leash off the hook and fasten it around the dog's furry neck.

"Okay, we're good to go." she ruffled the dog's fur with a smile. She straightened herself up and pulled open the door to the trailer, taking one last glance at the still sleeping Derek before walking out.

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The walk was slow today, at least, for the dog. Addison could feel the strong tug at the leash as the dog paddled forward, willing his master to move faster. But Addison refused, she held on to the leash tightly and chose to stroll instead of jog like she usually would. Suddenly, the dog gave the leash a forceful tug and a few yelps, turning its head to Addison once before trying to run off.

"Aww c'mon, Doc! I'm tired!" she grumbled, pulling back at the leash to restrain the dog. But it failed. Doc gave it one forceful tug that cause the leash to fly out of Addison's hands and paddled away at full speed into a specific direction, like it found something. Addison sighed and started jogging after her pet. She followed it around the corner of the trail and stopped short.

"Meredith!" she called out, surprised when she saw the blonde playing with Doc. She made her way towards the two and picked up the fallen leash from the floor.

"Hey!" Meredith greeted, still focused on the animal that had once lived in her house. Giving one last pat at the dog's head, she looked up at Addison with a grin.

"Sneakers." she pointed out, referring to the footwear that Addison had on. "I'd never imagined that you would actually wear sneakers outside surgery."

"Yea." she responded, still surprised to find Meredith along the trail. "It comes in handy when I have to run after Doc. What are you doing here? Do you have another dog? Or a cat that you have to walk?" she asked.

Meredith tucked her hands into her coat pocket and started walking down the usual path that Addison take when it was her turn to walk the dog. "No, I don't." she laughed. "I came here hoping to bump into you." she admitted.

"How would you know you'd find me here?" Addison asked, stopping to unfasten the leash around the dog, allowing it to run wild like she always does the moment she reaches that spot. Meredith turned around, surprised by her question. "Derek didn't tell you?" she asked, running a hand through her blonde hair as the morning wind blew it out of place.

"No. Tell me what?" she frowned, throwing a stick absent-mindedly into a direction, knowing that the dog would run after it.

"I take morning walks here with him, and the dog." Meredith explained.

_He takes walk with Meredith here every alternate days?_ Addison thought, annoyed at the fact that Derek was not honest with her about it. Not that she asked, but aren't husband and wife suppose to tell each other these things?

"Oh." she said, tucking her hair behind her ears, twirling the leash around her hands as she started walking after the dog. "Are you still taking walks with him?" she asked casually. Meredith shook her head. "Haven't for quite awhile."

Then there was a moment of awkward silence. But the dog came running back, the stick in its mouth. Addison bend down to retrieve it from the dog's mouth and handed the stick to Meredith with a smile. Meredith brought her arm back, then flung the stick a little furthur than she had intended. The both of them made a face at the sound of the stick crashing into a low bush not far away.

"So, you're not mad?" Meredith asked, breaking the silence between them.  
"No." Addison said almost too quickly. "I guess. I mean... I don't know." she admitted with a shrug.  
"Oh, ok." Meredith said, looking up to flash Addison a smile. She took a hand out of the pocket and took a glance at the time. "I should go." she announced. "I have to be there early today. Don't want Bailey to think I actually like getting stuck with you." she teased. "I'd walk you back but"  
"Yea, Derek. I understand." Addison cut her off. Meredith nodded, her eyes falling down onto the dog as it paddled back with the stick in its mouth. Addison drew in a breathe and tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ears. "I guess I'll see you at work then." she said.

"Yea. Bye." Meredith said, starting to turn around to walk off.  
"Yea..." Addison mumbled, nodding more to herself as she watch Meredith walk off. Just about to turn away to walk back to the trailer, she saw a flash of blonde. Meredith had ran up to Addison unexpectedly and planted a soft kiss onto her lips. It shocked Addison at first, but she felt her lips part, kissing back.

When they finally pull away from each other, there was a smile on Meredith's face as she bit a little at her bottom lip. Returning the smile, Addison let out a laugh.

"Well, okay. Bye." Meredith grinned, then jogged off into the opposite direction.

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Addison opened the door to the trailer, leading the dog inside with its leash, then took it off from around its neck and hung it back onto the usual hook.

"Hey!" Derek greeted. "I made pancakes."

"You're up!" Addison managed. _And you didn't tell me about your walks with Meredith._ she added silently. She would have confronted her husband but how is she going to explain the way she found out? That she had taken a morning walk with Meredith?

"You're happy." Derek noted as Addison pulled off her coat and tossed it onto the hanger.  
"That's what fresh air does to you." she said with a laugh, then headed straight into the bathroom to avoid furthur questions.

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"You're here early today, Grey." Miranda noted as Meredith stood there, all dressed in scrubs and her hair ready while the rest of the interns are still standing around their lockers, doing the final preparations before going off for their assignments.  
"Was Addison that creepy for you?" she asked, flipping open the chart in her hands, looking up briefly at Meredith. "What did she make you do?"

_She had me hiding under the coffee table during lunch when Derek walked in on us._ But Meredith only smiled, like she always would.

Shaking her head at Meredith's response, Miranda went on. "Alright. Stevens, you're with Montgomery-Shepherd. Karev and Grey, rounds. O'Malley, you're with Dr. Burke today. Yang, you're with me." she instructed, then slapped her file shut.

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"So how was lunch with McSatan yesterday?" Alex asked, actually wanting gossip. "I don't want to talk about it." Meredith said, flashing him a tight smile.  
"You're smiling. Was she actually nice? Did she let you have a go at McDreamy?" Alex pushed on as the both of them turned a corner of the hospital.  
"Well, why don't you get a lunch date with her and find out? Since you're so interested."  
"I might. She's McHot. But I'm kinda with Izzie right now." Alex said with a cocky grin.  
"Ohhh, right." Meredith laughed. _McHot? McYeah, she is._ she thought with a secretive smile.

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Tomorrow. Tomorrow she will have to wake up early again, to take a walk with Doc, with Derek. Thankfully dogs can't talk, or communicate with human beings in any word forms or Meredith would have so much explanation to do. Now Addison knows. Addison knows that Meredith has been taking walks with Derek. But what Addison still doesn't know is that Meredith isn't over Derek. Maybe she knows. But if she doesn't, she probably shouldn't. Not yet.

Derek. That word fall into her mind again as she stared up at the ceiling blankly. That image of him flickered into her mind's eye, like a television turning on. Slowly as the picture became clearer, she closed her eyes. _Derek._ she thought, almost sadly. The man that she wanted so much but couldn't have. The man who wooed her day after day even though it's against the rules, and even though he has a wife. The man who made her feel that she wants to spend the rest of her life with. _Oh, Derek._ she thought, this time with a realization. She wasn't over him.

Meredith is trying to get over him, but does she really really want to? She knows Addison is still in love with Derek, but she also knows that Addison definitely felt something for her. And she definitely knows she felt something for Addison. _A threesome would just solve everything. Seriously._ She thought with a sigh, flipping over in her bed and stared out of the window. The wind blew, shaking the branches and the leaves of the plant outside her room, casting shivering shadows over her face.

But how do you tell someone that you're falling for, that you still have feelings for her husband?

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"So here is the spot I was thinking about." Derek said, leading Addison towards the empty field where he thought would be a good idea to build their house on. Derek stopped, grinning at Addison as he swung his arms out, gesturing to the space around him. "What do you think?" he asked.

Addison looked around her, a grin spread across her face. "Wow." she breathed out. The view was great. They would be able to see the waters from here, and the sunsets and sunrises if they were in time to catch it. It was quiet, private and somehow, it gives a strange feel of security. She turned to Derek with a smile.

"Is that a 'yes'?" he asked. Addison nodded, then laughed as Derek ran to her and wrap his arms around her waist, giving her a smooch on her cheeks. They stumbled down onto the grassy fields and gaze up at the darkened skies. The sun was setting and the stars were starting to reveal themselves. Derek had his arms around Addison's waist as she leaned back against his chest. Suddenly, Addison wondered how it would feel like to be in Meredith's arms.

* * *

Derek took a gulp from the bottle of water he had brought along with him. Doc paddled away in front of him, sniffing the ground like he usually would. It's been awhile since Meredith had showed up for their morning walks and today, unlike any other day, Derek wasn't expecting her. They turned the corner of their usual path as Derek stopped for a moment, bending down to pick up a thick branch on the ground. When he looked up, the blonde that he wasn't expecting walked up to him with a smile. 

"Meredith! Hi!" he greeted, genuinely surprised.  
"Good morning." she said, bending down to greet the dog that leaped up into her arms. "Sorry I haven't been here to meet you the last few times. I wanted to sleep in a little later." she explained, then took the bottle as Derek handed to her. She twist off the cap and took a gulp before returning it to him.  
"Ahh, being in bed is better than coming out here? There's fresh air, there's Doc, and more importantly, there's me." he said, shooting Meredith one of his McDreamy smiles again. Meredith smiled back, but it was somewhat forced. She didn't want to do it, but she know she had to. She doesn't want to be the one who string two people along, she didn't want to be like Derek. She had to make a choice. Meredith stopped in front of Derek, turning around to face him.

"Derek." she said, a smile still on her face. The smile on her face was the only thing that can make it less painful. At least, Meredith hope it would. "We need to talk."

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That day, Meredith was assigned to Derek. For what, she didn't know. But she hoped she was randomly assigned, and not requested. She walked up to Derek from behind, putting a smile on her face as she greeted him professionally. Derek looked up as she neared, throwing her a brief smile.

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd." she said. Derek sighed, closing the chart in front of him.  
"I have a surgery this morning. I need you to scrub in." he instructed, then without another word, he walked off.

It hurt for him to do so, but he had to. Derek had requested for Meredith to be with him today. Why? Because he needed to know, he needed to understand. What was it that made Meredith said what she said? That very morning, Meredith had showed up at the trail after days of wordless disappearance and told him she was trying to move on, that she wanted and that she needed to move on. And that they couldn't do this anymore. What Meredith meant by 'this', Derek wasn't sure. But he assumed that it was the secretive flirting that they eyes did now and then. He wanted to ask 'why?'. But not just yet. He would wait, at least, till after the surgery. Perhaps then it wouldn't be so awkward for the both of them. But will that be all it takes? For Derek to let go of Meredith completely and put in a hundred percent effort to his marriage? He didn't want to lose Addison, but at the same time, he wasn't willing to let go of what he had with Meredith, he wasn't willing to let go of Meredith. But he would. Derek would try to let go, just because Meredith asked him to.

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Derek looked through from the magnifyers attached to the front of his eyes, the surgical tools in his hands picking at the brain as Meredith stood on the opposite side of the operating table, peering down through the machine, watching as Derek worked on the jelly-like substance.

"Why?" Derek blurted out. He couldn't wait any longer. The curiosity was killing him. Meredith looked up from the lenses.  
"Excuse me?" she asked.  
"Why? Was there someone else?" he asked, but his eyes were still focused onto the operation at hand. He asked, because he knew, thatAddison wasn't here to hear the conversation. He couldn't feel her presence like he always would if she was gazing down from the OR gallery.  
"Did you expect me to wait forever, Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith said, trying to lighten up the tension. Derek gaze up at her, seriousness reflected in his eyes. That was when Meredith understood, he really wants to know. But she didn't say anything.  
"No. I don't expect you to wait--at all." Derek said, now waiting for Meredith's response. She sighed, her eyes wandering back down onto the lenses.  
"But I was." she admitted."I was waiting, and hoping that someday, your marriage will fail and you will come back to me." It was the truth, and it sucked to have to say it in front of the entire surgical team because Derek was demanding for an answer.  
"And then I decided that I shouldn't. It's time for me to move on." she continued. _And it was your fault, you chose your wife. I shouldn't have to wait for you._ she thought silently. "And yes." she added. "There's someone else."

Derek nodded solemnly. He knew he chose his wife and he shouldn't expect Meredith to wait for him, it wasn't fair to her. But he had wanted her to.

The surgery went by in awkward silence. Words exchanged were only on a professional level. After it was over, Meredith's eyes were everywhere else except on Derek. She needed to get out of the OR before her emotions get to her. As though noticing her needs, Derek spoke up.

"You are done here, Dr. Grey. Thank you for your help." he said as a form of dismissal. Meredith nodded and thanked him silently as she made her way out briskly.

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Addison frowned at the page that appeared on her pager. Then at this moment, the wrong moment, her husband walked by, greeting her with a peck on her cheek. "Hey." he said, casting a glance at her as he reached out and handed the file to the nurse who just happened to walk by.

"Hey." she greeted back almost half-heartedly, not looking up at him. "You ok?" he asked. This time, Addison looked up, throwing him a smile. "Yea."

Addison headed off casually, then turning swiftly and slided into the dark, supply closet and locked the door behind her. Thanks to the small slits in the air ventilator, the room wasn't completely consumed by darkness.

Under the dimmed light, Meredith looked up at the person who just entered the closet.  
"You paged me?" Addison asked, making her way over and settled down on the floor beside Meredith. It was then that she noticed the glistering tear stains on the intern's cheeks. "What's wrong?" she asked, clearly concerned. Meredith brought her knees up to her chest and shook her head, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes again.

"I'm not over him." she choked out, only causing Addison to frown. Meredith turned to face Addison straight on, allowing the tears to now flow freely down her face. "Derek. I'm not over him." she explained. "I'm so sorry, Addison."

_What?_ Addison thought. She swallowed, tongue-tied. She couldn't find the right words to say. The woman she was sitting right next to has just admitted that she still has feelings for her husband. And at the same time, this very woman is the one who clearly felt something for her. Thinking that it was best for her not to say a word, Addison stretch an arm over and drap it around Meredith's shoulders. As thought taking it as a cue, Meredith leaned over, burying her head into Addison's shoulders. And all Addison could do was to hold her. Addison had thought of just walking out of the room, but it wouldn't be fair. Meredith confided in her, she had comforted her the day before, and all Addison can do for Meredith right now is not to walk away.

"I told him there's someone else." Meredith whispered softly after the sobbings have subsided. Addison pulled away slightly, looking down at the intern in her arms. Meredith drew in a deep breathe.

"I meet him at the trail this morning, I told him I needed to move on, that he should stop giving me those looks and giving me those smiles to make me think that there is still something. Because he's with you, and it's not right, and that I wanted to move on." she explained, brushing a strand of blonde hair away from her face. "And in surgery he asked me why. If there was someone else. And I said 'yes'." she said, looking up into Addison's eyes.

Addison nodded, pulling Meredith into a hug, her chin resting on top of Meredith's head with a sigh. She knew that now, it was her turn to make a firm choice.

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**Author's Note : **The length of the upcoming chapters may increase, I don't know yet. I'm thinking of going more in depth into each character's emotions, the building up of the Addison/Meredith relationship etc. Tell me what you think! 


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note :** Thank you all for your reviews! Sorry this took longer to be updated than before, but here it is! Enjoy!

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_I said I'll be working on it. That's what I told her, right? Then she said 'Ok', after a series of 'yes' through the shock and surprise to me admitting that part of the fall of our marriage is my fault. I remember looking up at her that night, expecting something from her, something more than just one-syllable words. But nothing. Then I remember giving a small smile before turning by back to take off my watch, getting ready to snuggle up in bed like I do every night. After that, I made a decision to get rid of the trailer she had hated so much and build a house on the land to show that I really am working on our marriage. What's more, I let her pick the house, knowing that she'll choose something close to the style of New York. And I was right. But there was a compromise between the both of us, if you think about it. The surroundings was Seattle, Addison had not ask to move away from what she once called the forest to live in some place that is more...city-like. I was surprised, really, when she accepted the piece of land I picked out. So now, after the house is built, we'll be living in New York, in Seattle. If that made sense._

_And now to the thing that has been bugging me since that faithful walk with Doc--Meredith. I should have known something was going to go wrong the moment she stood in front of me with that tight smile across her face. She said she's trying to move on, that I shouldn't expect her to wait forever. She was right, she should move on. In fact, she should hate me, but she doesn't. She accepted my offer to be her friend. I mean, I didn't tell her that I'm married, I started wooing her only hours after I got thrown out of her house. Then I fell in love with her... or did I? I'm pretty sure I did. I told Addison that on Christmas night and that was the very very first Christmas that we've spent away from each other, as a married couple. But is that why I couldn't let her go? I never could understand it myself. I chose my wife when she showed me a way out of our marriage, and I couldn't let go of my girlfriend, who shouldn't have been my girlfriend in the first place. I told Meredith 'ok', that we should stop doing the things we have been doing--which I assumed, is all the eye-contact flirtings, the low whispers down her neck, the secret sniffing of her hair each time we think Addison isn't around. But why? Why did she say that, all of a sudden? Our secret, emotional relationship was going on quite peacefully, and she just turned up without warning and threw a bomb on top of me, telling me that it's wrong, for me to be making eyes at her. She's right, though, but I still wanted to know why. So I asked. And she said there was someone else. There was someone else! Since when has there been someone else! I remember that during my internship, I had worked my butt off to prove to the doctors that I am worth it, and there was absolutely no time for meeting friends outside the hospital. So who could this 'someone else' that Meredith mentioned be? George? Alex? Preston! It couldn't be. None of them could be, but yet in her eyes, I know she's telling the truth. Was it one of her ex-boyfriends? Because I remember that I never had time to mingle around outside the hospital long enough to make friends when I was serving my internship. The only friends I had for awhile are my colleges, Addison was my girlfriend. And there Mark Sloan. He was my best friend since high school, we walked the same medical path, we ended up in the same internship program, so on and so forth._

_Now, to another question that has been bugging me. Why did I go back to Addison then? Technically, she cheated--with my best friend. She cheated and I had no obligation to try to work on the marriage that I thought, at that point of time, was beyond repair. But granted, partially of the downfall of our marriage was my fault. I wasn't there for her, I wasn't there at all. Then when she cheated, I couldn't see why, and when she tried to explain, I didn't listen. However, at that point of time when Meredith had practically forced me to choose, when I could only see that the fall of our marriage was entirely Addie's fault, I chose not to sign the papers. Why? Was it because deep down inside me, I knew that Addison didn't just go out there to sleep with my best friend? Because I knew, somehow, that I had done something to drive her to sleeping with Mark? ...maybe. Probably.  
__  
So Meredith said she needed to move on, and that I should move on, because we both know we're not fully over each other--yet. And so because she asked me to, I will try. Perhaps then I can commit myself fully into trying to make my marriage work. Nevertheless, the unanswered questions will remain in my mind. Why had I chose Addison? Why did I go after Meredith knowing that she's supposed to be my one night stand, even when technically, I'm married? Why couldn't I let Meredith go? Why?_

_- Derek Shepherd_

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Addison twirled the leash around her hand as she jogged alongside Doc, whose furry body bounced up and down as its four paws pounded onto the rough surface of the trail. Finally, they stopped. Addison closed her eyes and drew in a deep breathe, calming her fast beating heart down. Endorphin. It definitely helps one relax, and feel better, happier, like they had just ran away from their troubles. Addison stretched her neck slightly, then breathed out, slowly opening her green eyes to the warm light of the morning sun.

"Ahh!" she shrieked, jumping when she saw the woman standing in front of her. Meredith chuckled at Addison's reaction, a smile slide across her face. "Good morning to you too, Addison." she greeted. Addison placed a hand on her chest as she glanced down, noticing that Doc was already circling around Meredith's feet, rubbing against her sneakers before running off to chase the butterflies.

"Meredith!" Addison finally breathed out. "What are you doing here?" she asked, starting with a slow stroll towards the direction that the dog went into. Meredith shrugged casually. "Since Derek wouldn't be expecting me on the trail anymore, this is the only way to have fun with Doc." she explained. Addison turned to her curiously. "So this, it's only for Doc." she confirmed. Meredith turned to her with a laugh. "Yes. And of course, there's you." she teased.

"Oh yea, and there's me." Addison played along. They continued down the path side by side in silence for awhile before Meredith turned to her.

"Does Derek know?"

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_Things had gotten out ofhand ever since that fateful day in the hospital. And by 'things', I wasn't referring to things related to my work. By 'things', I'm referring to my love life. The relationships of love that I'm involve in. It wasn't that complicated to begin with, honestly. Although it had been complicated since the day I slept with Mark, but not as complicated as it is now. Sleeping with Mark was a mistake, I swear, but yet I stayed with him after Derek left for New York. I guess that a part of me just needed to feel wanted, to feel loved, and Mark is the person to provide all that I need. He's a great friend, really, but sleeping with him had put an end to our friendship, and to his friendship with Derek._

_The moment Derek returned the unsigned papers to me, I knew I had to end it with Mark. I couldn't keep him waiting and waiting in New York. If I'm staying with Derek, he needs to move on too. So from that night onwards, I stopped being Mark's girlfriend and continued being Mrs. Shepherd. It was definitely tougher than being Mark's girlfriend. But I couldn't blame Derek. After all, I was the one who cheated. But he chose me, that's all that mattered, right? At least, for that moment, it was. And I took the cheap shots he threw at me, I looked pass the painful moments where he had chose to ignore me, try to forget the horrible night that he revealed that he's in love with Meredith, and the night that he said it'd be good if I could wait it out--for his feelings for Meredith to pass. Normally, I would have said "enough is enough", but I deserve all that, don't I? I cheated on him, with Mark, his best friend. I pulled a wall down between them and crushed years of their friendship the night my lips parted to kiss Mark's. And the nasty attitudes from Derek happened for awhile before things became better between us, and one fine night, he came home, and as though something had made him do it, he apologized, now taking half the blame of the downfall of our marriage when I was so sure that before, he was putting the full blame on me--because I cheated. And it is complicating because right now, we'll have to get pass the fact that I slept with Derek's best friend, and then sort out the issues that are already present in the marriage before Mark happened. That, is going to take a long, long time, unless of course, Derek is willing to commit a hundred percent in the marriage and work on it instead of making eyes and having silent flirtations with Meredith now and then. He thought I wouldn't notice. But as his wife for more than 11 years, I did._

_And then Meredith told me that Derek was taking walks with her in the mornings when it was his turn to walk our dog. Our dog that belonged to Meredith. Meredith, who kissed me on the lips, whom I actually kissed back. As if the initial love triangle among the three of us wasn't complicated enough already. So here's the thing, Derek has feelings for the both Meredith and myself, Meredith clearly has feelings for both Derek and I, and as for me, I know I still love my husband, but somehow, I couldn't help but find myself falling for the intern. Now in a situation like this, Derek would run away from the complications. If not emotionally, he runs away physically, leaving everything behind. He'd make a good fugitive, seriously. Just pack up and leave without second thoughts, without considerations. But I'm not Derek, and I wouldn't be like him. I wouldn't run away, I would stay and try to sort things out. How? I have no idea yet, but I'll figure it out._

_- Addison Montgomery Shepherd_

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Addison's gaze shifted as Meredith tried to read her from her eyes.

"Oh." Meredith said in realization, now looking straight ahead. Addison sighed, giving her a shrug. "I... I just don't know how to tell him, Meredith. How do I tell him?" she asked, turning to Meredith in hope for an answer. Instead, Meredith turned to her with a smile. "I don't know." she admitted. "But I know you'll figure it out." she said, then held out her hand to Addison as she jogged forward.

"I'll wait." she said, her smile widening into a grin. "C'mon, let's go for a run."

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_Alright, now this is waaaay too dramatic for my already dramatic life to handle. My mother has Alzheimer, I had one too many one night stands, I fell for the married attending, who happened to be one of my one night stands, I broke a guy's penis. Ok, no, I didn't. He had a neurological condition that cause the erection to stay. Then I slept with George, which is definitely a mistake. And now? I kissed Addison. Twice. Once in the hallway of empty gurneys, another time when I showed up unexpected when Addison was walking Doc. And twice, she kissed back. Then in the nights after the first kiss, even in my waking hours when the sun is shining above me, Addison had been on my mind. First it was the confusion about the first kiss we had, the wonder of why she kissed me back. Then it became the admiration towards her, and the beauty of hers that captured my attention. And slowly, I realized that I'm actually falling for her. For real._

_As I know that Derek and Addison takes turns to walk Doc (because Derek told me), I figured; the days that Derek wasn't at the trail walking Doc, there's a good chance that Addison will be there. Unless, of course, Derek decides to take Doc out on one of Addison's days. But I went there anyway, taking the risk of meeting Derek at the trail on the day where Addison was supposed to have her turn in walking the dog. I even came up with an excuse for Derek if he was there and he asks about my appearance. But thankfully, it had been Addison who appeared from around the corner after Doc came running up to me. And she asked how I knew where to find her. It was then that I knew Derek didn't tell his wife about our walks. But I had to ask, "Derek didn't tell you?", and then I had to explain the walks that we took. Good going, Meredith!_

_Then I told her that I had to go. I didn't want to be late for work again or Bailey would seriously think I enjoy spending time with Addison. I mean, I do, but the entire hospital doesn't have to even suspect, you know. Then I didn't know what took over me, I ran back up to Addison and kissed her on the lips. And she kissed back. I felt all happy inside when I feel her lips part under mine as we held on to the kiss a little longer._

_That night, like any other night before Derek walk the trail with Doc, I lay in bed to think. Should I go? Do I want to go? I don't know, because I really want to move on. And I thought I had when I started feeling something for Addison. But I was wrong. I wasn't over Derek. And I knew I had to make a choice. I didn't want to be like Derek because what he's doing is unfair. So I went to meet him the next day, and I told him that whatever we're doing has to stop. Because he's with Addison and because I want to move on. I do, I really do. Derek lied to me, he insisted to date me even when he's clearly aware of his status--married, and he went back to his wife after he told me that we'll be free after he signs the papers, and he even told me that from the night Addison cheated onwards, she was of no existence to him. But he had lied about that. And I suddenly realize that even if I had waited for his marriage to fall and for him to come running back to me, I wasn't so sure if I could take him back._

_Then I paged Addison after Derek confronted me during surgery, admitting to her that I wasn't over her husband. She didn't say anything, but just held me as I sob into her shoulders. I've made my choice, I'm moving on from Derek. What's going to happen with Addison, I don't know. Only time will tell._

_I met her at the trail again today, and I asked "Does Derek know?". The look on her face told me he didn't. But I understand. I wouldn't know how to tell Derek either if I were in her position. Plus, 11 years of marriage isn't something to be thrown out of the window overnight. I told her I'd wait._

_- Meredith Grey__  
_

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**Author's Note :** I actually decided to write on the thoughts of the three of them instead of moving on with the storyline for this chapter. I don't know why I thought it's a good idea but I did, so I just went with it. lol. Perhaps because during the actual storyline, I feel that it would kinda disrupt the flow of the story if suddenly, following an event, there is an entire paragraph filled with thoughts of a particular character. Anyway, I hope you all like this as much as the previous chapters!

- Jessica


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note : **Thank you all for your reviews. Here's a new chapter!

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"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd needs a hand in her morning surgery." Miranda Bailey announced as she walked into the locker room. Immediately, hands shot up. Apparently these interns didn't care who was the one they'll be following, as long as they get in on a surgery. Without thinking twice, Miranda simply called out to the intern whose hand shot up first.

"Alright, Grey. You're on it." she said, looking down to the file in her hands to give out assignments for the rest of her interns. At her decision, everyone turned to Meredith.

"Are you sure about this?" George asked, his voice low.  
"You want in on a surgery with Addison Shepherd?" Izzie's voice called out with disbelief from behind Meredith.  
"You want to be in the same room with his _wife?_" Cristina reminded Meredith of Addison's status while whipping her hair up into a messy bun. This time, it was Miranda that looked up, the commotion among the interns caught her attention. She looked up, suddenly realizing that the intern she assigned to Addison Shepherd was Meredith Grey. Before Miranda could say anything to question her decision, Meredith spoke up.

"Yes, I'm sure I want in on this." she said, only receiving odd looks from the rest of them.  
"What?" she asked. "She's got four titles, there arelots of things we can all learn from her, and it's a surgery we're talking about. Recognize!" And with that, she pushed her way out of the locker room.

Izzie stared after her as she lean in towards Cristina and George to whisper. "Was that really Meredith?"  
"I think she's gone mental." Cristina said.

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"Hey!" Addison called out from behind. Derek, recognising his wife's voice, turned around and flashed her a brief smile. "Hey." he said, scribbling his signature at the bottom of the paper. "What's up?" he asked, shutting the first file and opening the second one in his hands.

"I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner tonight, with me." Addison invited. "You know, somewhere outside the trailer, at a restaurant... your choice."

Derek turned around, facing a smiling Addison with a smile of his own. "I'm sorry, I can't." he said, his gaze shifted down as he closed the second file and tucked it under his arms. "I uhh--have a surgery tonight." he explained. But through 11 years of marriage, Addison could tell that Derek was lying.

"Oh." the smile on Addison's face faded, replaced by a tight one. "Well, alright." she said, shrugging slightly. "Another time then." Derek looked up to her with a smile before heading off to check on his patients.

_Trying my ass._ Addison thought, watching her husband go. It wasn't even Derek who suggested postponing her suggested dinner date, it was she who said, 'Another time then.' And by the way things are going, the 'another time' will be taking a long time to come. She sighed, turning into the opposite direction.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." someone called out, footsteps behind her quicken to follow up. Addison recognized that voice, secretly, she smiled to herself, then turned around to face her.

"Dr. Grey." she greeted with a genuine smile, then continued her way towards the OR scrub room. "Were you late today, again?" she asked, a light hint of tease in the question. "No." Meredith said casually.

"No?" Addison echoed, turning to face her.  
"I volunteered." Meredith explained. At that, Addison frowned, but her curiosity caused her to push on.  
"What did you tell them?" she asked.  
"That there's alot that I can learn from you, and that a surgery is a surgery, I don't care who I'm assign to as long as it's a surgery that I can scrub in to." Meredith said, pushing open the door to the empty scrub room. "Just so you know, that will be the reason for me to volunteer myself to be assigned to you each time Bailey asks. If no one else raises their hands before I do." she laughed.

"Aren't you afraid?" Addison raised an eyebrow at her, tying her scrub cap over her bunned up hair. "Afraid of what?" she asked, turning to face Addison as her fingers work to tie the baby blue colored scrub cap behind her head. "That people will think that I like to date married attendings whose last name's 'Shepherd'?"

Addison laughed, rinsing her arms quickly before pressing soap out from the dispenser. "Yea, that." she agreed, rubbing the soap up her arms. "And Derek." she reminded Meredith. Meredith sighed, pressing a small pool of soap into her hands and rubbed it over her arms.

"You're afraid he'll suspect something?" she asked without turning to Addison. "Yea." she admitted. "Well, you know, think about it this way." Meredith suggested, turning to the older woman briefly with a smile. "If he suspects something, it'll be easier for you to break it to him."  
"Meredith." Addison warned, shooting her a look.  
"I know, I'm kidding." she said, giving a little shrug. But mentally, she sighed. Meredith promised she'd wait, and she would. But something in her wished that this time, waiting on this Shepherd wouldn't bring her pain and disappointment.

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"Where are you bringing me?" Addison asked, picking up her steps as she for once, followed behind Meredith instead of the other way round. Meredith turned around to her with a smile.  
"You'll see." she said, picking up her speed. Addison jogged to Meredith's side, both of them in scrubs. Before Addison had a chance to change out of her surgical uniform, Meredith had decided that she wanted to show Addison around Seattle Grace.

_"You're an attending; you're probably busier than I am, and I don't think you've had a chance to explore around."_ Addison remembered Meredith telling her, then insisted that she follow her.

They turned down the hallway of empty gurneys, causing Addison to shake her head with a laugh. "Oh, we're not doing what you think we're going to do." she said. "It's far too risky, Meredith." Meredith turned around with a secretive smile.

"We haven't reached yet." she simply said, continuing forward. "You'll see." she promised. Then eyeing the linen closet, Meredith turned to give Addison a gesture with her eyes before slipping inside casually. Instead of taking a brief glance around to check if anyone was looking, Addison followed Meredith into the room, closing the door behind her. She figured that it would be best not to look suspicious or people would tend to suspect that the two are up to something.

"It's pretty dark in here." Addison commented, folding her arms in front of her chest as she took in her surroundings. It wasn't as crammed as she had imagined linen closets to be. It's slightly more spacious than the supply closet she'd been in the other day. Ignoring Addison's comment, Meredith turned to face the older woman with a smile on her face and gestured around the room.  
"This, is the linen closet." She introduced.

"Yea, I can see that, Meredith. What are we doing here?" Addison frowned; her eyes wander around the dimmed room subconsciously. Meredith grinned, biting a little at her bottom lip as she took a step towards Addison. "Just to let you know that this, is the place where people in the hospital come to make out." she whispered, with each word, she neared the older woman. Addison looked down at her, the confusion in her faded away.

"Oh." she laughed, then before she can say anything else, Meredith reached up, her fingers come into contact with the side of Addison's face gently. Their eyes locked, and the next second, their lips are on each others'. With another hand, Meredith reached behind Addison and locked the door to the linen closet.

They kissed hungrily, moving away from the door, now with Meredith's back against one of the racks. Addison reached up to the back of her head, undoing her hair as Meredith did the same. They stopped their breath heavy as they looked to each other during the short pause. Addison ran her eyes over Meredith's delicate features, her fingers reaching out to trace the bone structure of her face, taking her time as she did so. Meredith tore her gaze away from Addison's face. She drew in a breathe, enjoying the ticklish feel of the woman's fingers running across her face, her eyes trying to trace the movement of Addison's fingers. Addison brought her hands slowly down to Meredith's lips, tracing the contour of it. Meredith looked down, a hand reaching up to touch Addison's. In contact, their eyes met again. Addison released the hold on Meredith's hand and brushed a lock of blonde hair away from the intern's face. This time, the both of them leaned into each other slowly for a kiss with more passion than lust. It went slow at first, then they pressed their lips into each other, begging for more. Addison ran a hand through Meredith's hair as the young intern wrap her arms around the older woman's waist, their lips never parting.

Then, Meredith slided a hand under Addison's scrubs, causing her to squirm slightly, her muscles stiffened under Meredith's touch for a second before she relaxed again, allowing the small hand to roam around her lower back. But when Meredith's hands worked their way up, Addison pulled away, putting a distance between their bodies. She felt Meredith's hand slowly leaving her body as she look up to her. "I...I'm sorry. I've never done this before... you know." she explained, but Meredith only shook her head in response. "Me neither." she whispered, then lunged forward. Her hands slid under Addison's navy blue scrubs again, pushing upwards in attempt to pull the clothing off the woman. Once again, Addison stopped, pushing herself away from Meredith and tugged her scrubs back down. She swallowed, looking away uncomfortably.

"Is it..." Meredith started her voice soft.  
"Too soon? Yea." Addison finished it for her. Meredith nodded. "Yea, I thought so too." she said.

There was a short moment of silence as both women calmed their breaths. "Uhmm..we should probably... check on the patients." Addison suggested softly, pushing herself away from the rack she was leaning against and tied her hair back up. Meredith looked up at her. "Yea, you're right." She agreed. The both of them looked towards the locked door, then back at each other.

"We should probably leave separately." Meredith suggested nervously. She wasn't sure how long they were in the closet, but it was pretty long. And hopefully, no one would be around long enough to notice that Addison and Meredith herself have exited from the same linen closet, one after another. Addison nodded in agreement as Meredith looked up at her.

"You should go first." Meredith offered.  
"Positive?" Addison asked.  
"Yea." the blonde nodded.  
"Alright." Addison said, then adjusted her scrubs one last time before grabbing a random towel from a rack and walked out of the room as casually as she can manage.

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Addison Shepherd had been watching Meredith for the last five minutes. For the past five minutes, she was among the other four interns under Miranda Bailey. Coincidentally, they are all waiting for the various results for their assigned patients. Addison flipped her wrist around to check for the time. _15 minutes before the next surgery._ She thought to herself, then stole a glance at Meredith again. It was hard to tell if there was another opportunity for Addison to bump into Meredith again without Derek around. She drew in a deep breathe, and then walked to the interns casually.

"Dr. Grey." she greeted, flashing a smile at the rest of the interns as they straightened themselves uncomfortably. Meredith turned around and tried her best to look awkward.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." Meredith greeted professionally. "The CT results are not out yet." she explained, knowing that Addison had approached for work purposes instead of personal purposes. Addison cleared her throat. "I know that, Dr. Grey. Are you on-call tonight?" she asked.

"Uhh...no." the intern shook her head.  
"You are now." Addison said, and then with a nod to the other four interns, she excused herself.

"Rotten luck." Alex said, folding his arms in front of his chest as he leaned back onto the wall after Addison was out of sight and hearing range. Izzie shot him a look and elbowed him in his ribs. Meredith sighed. "Yea, lucky me." she said, words dripping with sarcasm as she took the CT results that are handed to her. "I got on-called by the She-Shepherd." she sighed, her eyes shifting back and forth as she read through the results. "And now I have to go page her."

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"Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith called out, a hand placing a mask over her nose and mouth as she peeked into the OR.  
"How can I help you, Dr. Grey?" Addison responded, her eyes not taken off the surgery in front of her.  
"The CT results are out." she informed.  
Addison lifted her eyes off the body for a second and drew in a deep breathe. "How bad are they?" she asked.

"I think you should come see it for yourself." Meredith said, revealing no hints about the results' outcome. Addison looked down at the on-going surgery wit a sigh, debating on what to do at the moment.

"I can take it from here, Addison." Miranda Bailey said, interupting Addison's inner debate. The attending breathed out a sigh of relief. "Alright then. Thank you, Miranda." Addison said, then stepped off the platform and tore off her mask. She stopped by the bin and tossed her bloody gloves in and exited the OR.

"What have we got?"

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"Am I really on-call tonight?" Meredith couldn't help but ask as they stood side by side in the elevator. Addison turned to her with a sly smile. "Why, Meredith. No wonder you got into this program." she said, placing a hand on her hip as her gaze shifted up as the lighted numbers jump from one to another. Meredith laughed.

"Well the nagging feelings cametrue." she said, then turning to Addison smugly. "So I'm right. I'm not really on-call tonight." she beamed. Addison turned to Meredith with the same smile across her face.  
"Yes, you're right." Addison confirmed. "You're not really on-call tonight, Grey. Page me when the locker room is cleared out this evening." she instructed Meredith, then stepped out of the elevator.

"Why?" Meredith asked.  
"You'll find out--in time."

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**Author's Note : **I apologise for any grammatical/spelling/punctuation mistakes in this chapter. I'm almost half-asleep right now, to be honest. lol. Anyway, I hope you liked it! 


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : **Once again, thank you all for your wonderful reviews. So here's the new chapter. Enjoy!

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Derek Shepherd, changed out from his scrubs, took yet another look at his watch. It was about time his 'surgery' ended. Not long before, Addison had informed him that she will be staying overnight at the hospital to do paperworks, and go through her patients' charts. Derek didn't mind anyway, in fact, he was relieved. He needed time to think, his mind was still processing, wondering why he had chosen Addison when she gave him a way out after she cheated on Mark, and wondering who can the 'someone else' Meredith is seeing be. He hadn't figured out, but he will, soon. _It's just curiosity._ He had told himself each time when he wondered why he was so interested in finding out who had won a place in his ex-girlfriend's heart. His ex-girlfriend that shouldn't have been his girlfriend in the first place. Derek stood up from the chair and headed out to the elevator. 

Derek tapped his fingers against the metal bar behind him as he waited for it to descend, bringing him down to the first level. The familiar ring of the elevator indicated that he had arrived. The metal doors opened as Derek lifted his gaze off the ground, only to be greeted by the familiar redhead walking towards the elevator with her head buried into the chart.

_Darn._ he thought, bracing himself as he exited the elevator. As they neared, she looked up, a smile spread across her face as their eyes meet.

"Hey." she said, stopping in front of Derek.  
"Hey!" he returned the greeting, shoving a hand through his hair as she stood in front of him, the hospital lab coat still drapped around her shoulders.  
"So, how did the surgery go?" she asked, turning to face the same direction as he is and started walking him to the exit.  
"It went well." he said.  
"Really?" she pushed on. But before Derek could say anything, Addison stood in front of him with a hand on her hip.

"You didn't have surgery in the evening, Derek." she said flatly.  
"Are you saying that I'm lying?" he tried to cover up, taking a step aside to try and walk away. But Addison shifted her position, blocking his way again.  
"Yes. Your name wasn't on the OR board." she revealed. Derek looked down, knowing that there is nothing he can say to cover up now. It was of no use anyway, after 11 years together, there was nothing he could hide from Addison.  
"Why, Derek?" she asked calmly. This time, Derek drew in a deep breathe and turned to his wife. "I..I just need some time alone to think, Addie." he said, then took a step away from her and walked out of the hospital. This time, Addison did not stop him.

"Fine." she said softly, turning around to watch him go. "And you couldn't even tell me the truth."

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From the catwalk, Meredith looked down to the exit and saw her friends leaving, laughing and joking away with each other as they headed toward their cars. She smiled at the sight, then waited a little longer. This time, her resident, Miranda Bailey, walked out of the hospital exit, greeted by her husband and her son. They stood by the exit for awhile, then hand in hand, headed off to the carpark. _Alright, the coast is clear._ she thought, pushing herself off the railing she was leaning on and headed to the locker room.

Her fellow internmates have witnessed Addison putting her on-call for the night, and Miranda Bailey probably didn't know about it. Meredith wasn't willing to risk bumping into her and having to come up with an explanation because obviously, she isn't on call. Miranda knows everything, she isn't called the Nazi just for the sake of it.

Meredith pushed open the locker room, spotting a few interns still inside, changing out of their scrubs. None of them that she know, but still, she headed towards her locker, opened it and started rammaging through her stuff aimlessly. She pulled out a book that she had left in her locker and shut the locker door, settling down on the bench cross-legged, pretending to read. When the last intern had left, Meredith shut her book and searched the locker room with her eyes, making sure that there is no one else left. _Alright._ she thought, a smile on her face. _It's time._

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Addison had changed out from her scrubs, took a shower and blowed her hair dry, leaving it in gentle waves, the way it is naturally. While she was brushing her hair downwards, her pager beeped. _Meredith._ she thought with a smile as she checked for the caller. Then, after applying a coat of mascara and lipgloss, Addison headed out towards the interns' locker room.

She kept her expression professional, hoping that those that walked by her wouldn't suspect that she was up to something unusual. Derek had declined her suggestion to a dinner date with a lie, a lie that could be uncovered without even looking at the OR board. The OR board was just an evidence that she was right. And since he refused, Addison had asked Meredith instead, but in an indirect manner. She pushed open the door to the locker room and spot Meredith seated on the bench, still in her baby-blue scrubs.

"Hey!" Meredith grinned, looking up as the door opened. She stood up from the bench and headed straight towards Addison, planting a hot kiss on her lips. But instead of kissing back, Addison pulled away.

"What?" Meredith asked with a frown.  
"What are you doing?" Addison hissed.  
"Oh." Meredith realised, backing away. "We're not doing it here." she said.  
"Of course we're not doing it here." Addison rolled her eyes. "What are you still doing in your scrubs?"  
"Then what did you put me 'on-call' for?" Meredith asked, pulling her scrubs off to reveal a red, longsleeved top with a v-neck collar.  
"I'm taking you out. Get changed." she instructed.  
"But I stink." Meredith scrunched up her nose to emphasize. Addison shot her a look, only receiving a pout in response. She sighed, giving in.

"Alright, you know where the 'Flying Fish' is?" Addison asked, already have a bar picked out before hand.  
Yea. Why?"  
"Meet me there." Addison instructed, starting to head out of the locker room.  
"Izzie took my car." Meredith revealed. Cursing mentally, Addison took a glance at the clock on the wall.

"Alright, you have twenty minutes. I'll be in my car." she said, then headed out of the locker room.

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Half an hour later, there was a knock on the window by the passenger seat. Addison looked up, greeted by a smiling blonde intern. She reached over, unlocking the door. Meredith pulled it open and slided in, shutting the door with a tight click.

"Nice." Meredith commented, running her fingers over the soft leather surface of the car's seat.  
"You're late." Addison said, pretending to be annoyed.  
"I bet you take more than an hour." Meredith said. Addison glance up to the review mirror and started backing her car out of the space. "Yea, I do." she admitted with a laugh.

"Do we have to go somewhere that far?" Meredith asked, pulling the seatbelt over her body. "You know the hospital staff only goes to Joe's"  
"It's better not to take any risks, you know, just in case. Besides, I hear 'Flying Fish' is good. Picked it out from a magazine."

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The first thing both Meredith and Addison did as they entered the bar was to scan the entire area to check for people they know from the hospital. When they were confirmed that the coast is clear of hospital staff, they headed towards an empty table, settling down on the chairs.

"Nice. Very Manhattan." Meredith said with a grin. In return, Addison only laughed. She had seen a preview picture of the bar in the magazine and thought the same. It was a bar on on side of the restaurant while on the other, customers can choose to sit down and have a proper meal. A waitress came by, settling two menu booklets in front of them before walking away briefly.

"Order whatever you want, my treat." Addison offered. Meredith looked up from her menu and raised an eyebrow at the older woman. "Seriously?" she asked.  
"Yep!" Addison confirmed with a smile.

Not long after, the same waitress came back.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked, and the both of them looked up at each other.  
"Yea." they said in unison.  
"Uhmm...a Grilled chicken fillet, with pasta salad." Meredith ordered. The waitress took down the order and tilted her head towards Addison.  
"Lemon battered fish fillet with mixed greens." she said, then shutting her menu and handed it towards the waitress. The waitress repeated their orders to reconfirmed then looked up at the both of them. "Any drinks for you?"

"Martini." Addison said without hesitation.  
Meredith took a moment to think before looking up at the waitress. "Same for me."

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"So, how's the chicken?" Addison asked, a knife slicing into her food, poking her fork through the tender piece of white flesh then brought it up into her mouth. Meredith nodded her head. "It's good, really good. How's the fish?"  
"Better than I thought it would be." Addison admitted. "You know, I never thought they'd actually give such a large portion." she added, taking a sip from her drink as she chewed down the food.  
"Funny. Me neither." she said, looking up to Addison. "You know what we could do?"  
"What?"  
"Exchange." she said, a grin spread across her face. Addison looked down at her half-eaten plate of food and then to Meredith's. "Seriously?"  
"Yea, seriously. That way we wouldn't get bored of having the same taste over and over again until the food is finished." she said, picking up her glass for a sip. Addison leaned back, taking another sip from the martini.

"You know, if we're going to switch plates, it would look slightly weird, and not to mention, unglamourous." Addison pointed out, but Meredith only rolled her eyes.  
"Oh c'mon! It's Seattle, Addison. Not New York! I've seen people do things like that in a place that looked even fancier than this."

Addison leaned back forward, placing her glass down and took a brief second to consider.  
"Ok." she agreed, then they swapped plates.

They each took a bite into each other's food, chewing it thoughtfully, deciding whose choice was better.

"You lose." Addison said.  
"I know." Meredith said. "Can I have the chicken back?"  
"Too late." Addison chuckled, cutting another cube of chicken off the fillet. "It was your idea to exchanging." she reminded her.  
"Fine." Meredith said, then pointed down to the plate in front of her with the fork in her hand. "Just so you know, this is healthier."

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"What time is it?" Addison asked as they left the bar. Meredith took one glance at her watch under the street lights.  
"Nine." she reported. "Why? You want to go back to the hospital?" Meredith asked.

Addison shook her head. "We're stuck here." she realised, stopping in her tracks then turning to Meredith. "I can't go back home. I told Derek I'd be staying over at the hospital." _And I'm still pissed at him for lying._ she added silently. Meredith nodded in agreement. "I can't go back home either. They heard you putting me on-call for the night." They stood in the middle of the street in silence for a moment. Addison's eyes wandered around to the buildings nearby, then spotted a hotel not far away.

"You know," she said, looking back down to Meredith. "We could always spend the night there." she suggested, pointing a finger to the tall hotel building not far away from where they are standing. Meredith's eyes followed the direction of Addison's fingers, then gave a nod in agreement.

"Alright. Wait here." she said, then tracing her steps back to the bar. After five minutes, Meredith came walking back with a paper bag in her hands, waving it up in front of Addison. The red head tilted her head with a frown. "What did you get?" she asked, turning her body towards the direction to the hotel when Meredith fall into pace with her.

"Tequila." she responded with a grin.  
"How much?" Addison asked, an eyebrow raised.  
"Two bottles." she said with a laugh.  
"I take that we're partying tonight." Addison said, then taking a turn into a tibit store.

Moments later, Addison walked out with a bloated paper bag in her hands. "Chips." she announced with a grin, then laughing, they made their way to the hotel.

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"CSI?" Meredith asked, a remote aimed at the television in front of her. Addison walked out of the bathroom in the similar white bathrobe that Meredith had on, a white towel wrapped around her wet, redhair.

"Why not?" she asked, bringing the chilled tequila bottles out from the mini fridge. "We can brush up on our skills in performing autopsies." she joked, grabbing the bag of chips with another hand as she slided into bed beside Meredith. Addison handed a bottle of tequila to Meredith as she placed her own one by the bedside stand. "Do you need a glass?" she asked, turning to Meredith briefly. The blonde shook her head, popping open the bottle and took a gulp down.

"Alcoholic." Addison said, popping open her own bottle of tequila. Meredith turned to her with a frown, watching as Addison took a sip from the bottle.  
"Pot calling the kettle black." she retorted. Addison shook her head and tore open the bag of chips, placing it between herself and Meredith.  
"I'm only drinking from the bottle because I'm too lazy to get a glass." she said, reaching into the bag for a chip.  
"Oh?" Meredith asked, leaving the bottle by the bedside stand on her side and reached in for a chip. "And you would get me a glass if I wanted one?" she teased. Crunching on her chip, Addison shook her head.

"Nope. I'd ask you to get it yourself."

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Hours later, the both of them sat on the carpetted floor, two empty bottles of tequila lay on the floor. Beside them each was another bottle, almost half-full. Meredith had went down to the hotel lobby to purchase another two bottles after their first had finished. The television was turned off, there was nothing good on tv. And a messy stack of poker cards was placed between them.

"Alright." Addison said, the towel now sprawled out on the bed and her red hair around her shoulders. She ran her fingers over the top of her cards as she kept an eye on Meredith's reaction. There was a sly grin on the intern's face as her fingers gripped onto a chosen card.

"Ready?" Meredith asked, the grin spreading wider. Addison looked at her cards one last time and nodded.  
"Yea. Ok." she said, looking up to Meredith. "On the count of three."

"One...Two... Three!" they both shouted, then threw out the cards that they have chosen. Eyes shifted back and forth on both cards before Meredith let out a yelp.

"I win!" she shouted, punching her fists in the air. Addison rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle of tequila by the neck and swallowed a gulp of it.

"Not for long." she promised, licking her lips. Meredith's eyes scanned her cards again, stopping briefly to steal a glance at Addison. The redhead's cheeks were flushed, but her expression remained serious.

"You're drunk." Meredith giggled. Addison looked up from her cards and raised an eyebrow at Meredith. "No I'm not. You are." she said calmly, her mind obviously clearer than the younger woman. Meredith let out a laugh, her fingers placed on the chosen card again.

"You're so drunk." Addison said, having chosen her card. "Ready?"

Meredith nodded, then counting to three once again, they both thrust out the cards in their hands. This time, Addison gave a shout of joy.

"Oh shut up." Meredith said, placing her bottle down on the ground beside her after taking a gulp, her eyes running through the cards spread out in her hands again. "I'm still winning."

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The numbers on the digital clock jumped, it was now three in the morning. The lights of the hotel room had not been switched off. Leftover chips scattered over the floor had been placed into the bin, the four bottles of tequila were tied tightly in a plastic bag and shoved into the same tiny bin. Two of the bottles were empty, the other two with about a quarter of the alcohol left. Meredith was sprawled out on the messy bed that the two had sat on while watching tv, her blonde hair covering half her face, her body facing downwards. Addison had managed to slap Meredith awake long enough for her to get onto thebed, then went about cleaning the mess before stumbling down on the cleaner bed herself. She had pulled open the covers and slid under, but passed out before she could reach for the control to turn off the lights.

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**A/N : **What can I say? Meredith is sooo drunk. lol 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N : **Thank you for your reviews once again. New chapter! Enjoy.

* * *

The night without Addison next to him in bed felt different all of a sudden. Derek had been in that position before--when he left New York to accept the job offer from Richard. The whole time he didn't have Addison by him, and on some nights, he had Meredith. But it still felt different. The night before, Addison had laid in the same bed with him. 

The ringing of the alarm clock pierced through the air, shocking Derek awake. His eyes were still closed as he reached out to the clock on the bedside stand and slapped it silent. The second alarm started with Doc paddling into the room and tugging at his sheets. Derek moaned, throwing a pillow over his head. "Addie..." he muttered. "Addie!" Still no response. "It's your turn today, Addie." he complained, turning around wanting to wake his wife up. But when he swung his arm over, it touched air before landing on the side empty side of the bed. "Addie?"

This time, Derek woke up for real, rubbing his eyes as he sat up in bed, his eyes scanning the trailer for his wife. The memory from the night before came back to him. Derek sighed, throwing the covers off him and walking around the bed into the bathroom lazily. "Alright Doc." he attempted to calm the dog's enthusiastic barkings. "I'll be out in a short while."

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The digits jumped again, it was nine in the morning. There wasn't any alarm set to wake any of them up, and it wasn't the works ofthe body alarm that caused the first one of the two to wake. It was the bright, hot morning sun that pierced through the hotel curtains. She stirred, flipping towards her left and felt the unusually cool surface of the pillow at the side of her face. She frowned, still half-asleep, her eyes then slowly opening to receive the bright light surrounding the room. Her head pounded as she attempted to pushed herself up. Addison drew in a deep breathe and shut her eyes, putting her head in her hands, now sitting up. "Oh god." she muttered under her breathe, memories of the night before came floating back to her. "Meredith." she whispered under her breathe, turning to her side to find the blonde intern sleeping peacefully, her body somehow found itself under the sheets. Addison squint her eyes under the bright light and looked to the digital clock, reading the time. _Nine O'clock?_ she thought in horror, then forced herself out of bed.

The room spun around her when she stood up. Addison steadied herself by the edge of the bed and closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Meredith..." she called out, her throat dry. Drawing in another deep breathe, Addison made her way over to Meredith and shook her shoulders. "Meredith!" she tried again, her other hand shielding her eyes from the light that felt too bright for comfort.

"Go away, Izzie." Meredith mumbled, turning her head away from Addison. With a sigh, Addison forced herself around the bed and switched off the lights that had been left on through the night. It felt better, but only slightly.  
"Meredith!" Addison yelled, slapping at the blonde's arm lightly.

"Lemme sleep!" she groaned.  
"It's Addison, Meredith!" Addison hissed into her ear, causing Meredith to snap her eyes open a little too suddenly.

"Oww!" she groaned, shielding her own eyes with a hand. "What time is it?" Meredith asked, straining to look at the digital clock by the bedside.

"Nine in the morning. We're late." Addison explained, wishing for a second that she had the powers to move things with her mind so she could draw the binds together without having to walk towards it. Meredith buried her face into the white pillow and draw the covers over her head. Noticing that, Addison sent a hand flying what she thought to be Meredith's leg.

"Hey!" Meredith's muffled voice rung from under the sheets.  
"Don't go back to sleep!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because you're suppose to be on-call last night, Meredith." Addison reminded her flatly. Meredith threw the covers over her head and sat up, the room spun around her as her head pounded.

"Oh god. Shit." she cursed, ignoring the horrible feeling of the hangover she's experiencing at the moment and stumbled out of bed.

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"O'Malley, you're with Shepherd, Izzie and Karev, pit, Yang, you're with Dr. Burke," Miranda assigned her interns, looking up briefly to each of them as she called them out, mentally taking their attendance. "And Grey." she said, looking up in search for Meredith. "Where's Grey?" she asked, shutting the file in her hands and folding it under her arm, another hand on her hip.

"Uhmm..she was on call last night." Izzie explained.  
"I didn't put her on call." Miranda said  
"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd did." George pitched in.  
"Then where is she?" she demanded. The four of them looked to each other, neither of them able to come up with an answer.

"Alright, go." Miranda instructed. "And if you see Grey, tell her I'm looking for her!" she yelled after them. "She's in so much trouble right now."

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Addison pulled her car into the parking space and looked out of the window, spotting her husband's car already in the parking lot._ Oh god. I hope he doesn't notice my car wasn't here._ she prayed, then turned to Meredith as the intern drowned the aspirins in her hands with water in a bottled water.

"We should go in separately." Meredith said, only receiving a nod from Addison. She looked to the older woman, waiting for more to come.  
"You should go first." Addison said.  
"You sure?"  
"Yea. Good luck with Dr. Bailey." Addison confirmed, then turned to Meredith with a smile.  
"Right, thanks." Meredith responded lazily and unbuckled the seatbelt over her body and slided out of the car.

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"Meredith!" a voice called out from behind. Meredith froze, turning around before she had a chance to enter the locker room to get changed.

"Good morning, George." she greeted, then turned around and rushed into the locker room. George followed closely behind, attempting to confront her.

"Why...why are you not in scrubs?" George asked, leaning against the locker doors with a frown. Meredith ignored him, pulling her scrubs top over her body.

"I'm talking to you, Meredith." he tried again. But this time, Meredith only turned to him with a smile. She pulled out her scrub pants from her locker and dangled it in front of George. Taking the cue, the man turned his back against Meredith and allowed her to change.

"Weren't you on-call last night?" he pushed on. But there was no response. Then, the slamming of the locker door told George that Meredith was now fully dressed. He turned around to face her again as she whipped her hair up into a ponytail. Before he could go on, Meredith throw him another smile.

"I'm late. Very late." she told him, then started out of the locker room.

"Dr. Bailey's looking for you!" George called after her.

_Crap._

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"Good morning, Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." Miranda greeted as she walked by the attending while she was leaving her signature on the piece of paper. Addison handed the file back to the nurse and flashed a smile at the resident.

"Good morning." she greeted her, then started walking towards her own locker room to change her coats and leave her bags.

"You put Grey on-call last night?" Miranda asked, following Addison. "Yea." she said. "Yea, I did. Why?"

Then before Miranda could say anything, Addison's pager beeped. _Thank god._ She thought and pulled it out from her bag with a gesture to it. "I'll have to get this." she said, then headed off quickly.

A distance away from Miranda now, Addison looked down at the name that popped up on the small screen. _Derek._ she thought. _Not another confrontation, I hope._

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"Dr. Bailey?" Meredith called out, picking up her speed as she walked briskly towards her resident. Miranda slowed down, but did not turn around, only waiting for the young intern to catch up with her.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Meredith apologised, now standing beside her. Miranda lifted her eyes to Meredith.  
"You were on call last night. Where were you this morning?" she asked.

"Uhh.. I. I went out for breakfast and forgot about the time." she covered, trying to look as truthful as possible when Miranda stopped and turned to face her fully.

"Do you know what time your shift starts today?" she asked, putting a hand on her hip demandingly. Meredith bit her lower lip and slumped her shoulers.

"I'm sorry. It wouldn't happen again." she promised, keeping her fingers crossed that her mentor wouldn't punish her too harshly. Miranda looked Meredith up and down.

"Fine. It better not." she said, then dumped a stack of files in Meredith's hands.

"Labs." she instructed, then walked away without another word.

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Addison rubbed her temples gently with her fingers as she made her way towards the front desk, her head down as she focus on the rhythmic tapping of her heels on the hospital floor. To her, it was better than hearing the buzz in the surroundings.

"Addie!" a voice called out, then footsteps thumped on the floor. She recognised that voice, recognising his scent, sensing his prescence as her husband neared her.

"Hey!" he called out to her, his voice seemingly extra loud. She winced, smiling forcefully at the nurse that handed her the files to her cases. "Are you ok?" he asked, leaning against the counter. Addison bit back the pain and nodded, flipping open the charts. _He's going to find out, oh god. He's going to find out._ she thought as Derek went on.

"Addie. I'm sorry about last night... I should have--" he stopped, looking around to check if anyone was eavesdropping. Addison looked up at him expectantly, willing him to go on. Derek sighed, looking down.

"I..I shouldn't have lied." he said softly, then placing a hand onto his wife's hand. On contact, he felt the unusual heat transfered to his hand. Derek looked up to Addison with a frown.

"Have you been drinking?" he demanded, straightening himself up to study her face. Addison ignored the question, her eyes scanning back and forth on the chart in front of her.

"Addison," his eyes searched hers. When she refuse to meet his gaze, Derek reached out and tilted her head towards him. Her skin felt hot under his touch. And then he knew. "You weren't at the hospital last night, were you?" he pushed on, his blue eyes now firm. Addison shut the folder and picked up the pile in her hands and started away from the counter, but her husband followed.

"Where were you last night?" he asked.  
"Stop yelling, Derek." was her only response. It came out tired, weaker than she had expected it to be.  
"I'm not yelling. I'm talking in the normal volume that I usually do." he said, then stepped in front of his wife and stop her in her tracks. She looked away again, refusing to meet his gaze.

"You're having a hangover. How much did you drink?" he asked, reaching out to touch her cheek. It always happened when Addison had too much to drink, her skin will burn up the next day. She leaned against the wall, pressing the side of her head against the cool surface.

"What do you want, Derek." she sighed, letting her eyes close.  
"I want to know where you were last night, why you were drinking and why you lied to me about staying in the hospital." he said, folding his arms across his chest.

Addison shifted her weight, her eyes still closed. Her chest moved up and down calmly, like she was taking deep breathes. "I'm waiting for an answer, Addie. Don't you walk away." Derek demanded. This time, Addison's eyes snapped open as she glared at her husband. Ignoring the surge of pain that shot through her head at that moment, she pushed herself off the wall, now eye-to-eye with the man in front of her.

"Walk away?" she laughed, folding her arms in front of her chest. "I'm not the one who walks away, Derek. You are. And you lied to me last night." she pointed out.  
"So did you." he reminded her. Addison was about to say something to counter it but thought better of it.  
"Yes, I did." she said firmly. "I was out last night, drinking." she admitted. "But since when do you start caring, Derek? Since when did you start noticing that I'm here?" she asked, shaking her head. "When I slept with Mark? When you realise I had too much to drink the night before and I didn't tell you about it? When, I don't know, things go bad in our marriage? Like now, that I lied to you, and I'm so betting that you'll put all the blame on me, Derek Shepherd. Because that's always how it happens. But don't you ever stop to think; why? Why have I cheated? Nights ago you took part of the blame of the marriage, you told me you're going to try and work on it. But what are you doing now? You couldn't even tell me that you needed time alone to think!" she cried, and when Derek started to interupt, she held out a hand in front of him. "I'm not finished."  
"Everyone needs their own privacy." Derek said coldly, ignoring her hand sign.  
"I'm not done talking." she reminded him. And before he could continue, she cut him off with her own voice. "I'm not saying that you need to tell me what you need to think about. I don't need to know. That is your problem, unless you want to talk to me about it--" she said, but before she could go on, Derek interupted.

"Who were you with last night?" he asked.  
"What?" she demanded, looking to him with disbelief.  
"Who were you with last night?" he repeated, his eyes searching hers for an answer.  
"Whatever happened to 'Everyone needs their own privacy'." she said with a dry laugh and shook her head, starting to walk away.  
"Fine." Derek retorted, then turned and headed off first.

"Make up your mind, Derek." Addison called out, but Derek continued on instead of stopping. "And you know very well what I'm talking about." she added, looking as he walk away for a brief moment before she turned her back against him.

This time, Derek stopped, turning back to face Addison, ready to say something right back. But instead, he was only greeted by the view of her walking away.

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"He knows." Addison muttered as she felt a shadow casted over the ground of the empty hallway. Their secret meeting place, as Meredith had named it.

"What?" Meredith asked, making her way towards the attending and settled down on the gurney beside her. It was the interns' lunch break. Addison looked up and leaned her head against the wall behind her.

"He knows." she repeated with a sigh. Meredith couldn't help but smile.  
"He does? How?"  
"Well, he doesn't know as in, that you and I, you know. He knows I'm not in the hospital last night. And he knows I've been drinking." she explained.  
Meredith shifted and place her head down on Addison's lap with a sigh.  
"Do you think he'll find out, on his own?" Meredith asked. Addison only gave a shrug in response.  
"Do you want him to find out on his own?" she asked again. This time, Addison buried her head in her hands. This empty hallway was the only place dimmed enough to give her a sense of comfort. The rest of the hospital are too bright and she had tried to escape as many surgeries as possible. She didn't think she could function as well with the light blazing right above her in the operating rooms.  
"I don't know." she finally said. Then Meredith nodded against Addison's lap and closed her eyes. They were silent for a brief moment before Addison spoke up.

"What's your punishment?" she couldn't help but ask. Meredith let out a dramatic sigh.  
"Labs--all day." she complained.  
"Well, at least you don't have to tell patients or your colleges that you can't perform surgery today because you're having a hangover and you feel like someone just hit you in the head a thousand times with a hammer." Addison grumbled. At that, Meredith let out a small laugh. "Oh zip it." Addison warned, wriggling herself out from under Meredith's head and made her way to the vending machine.

Walking back with a can of coke in her hands, Addison opened it and took a gulp from it, then handing it to the blonde intern, who sat up reluctantly to take a sip from the drink.

"Can we just stay here all day?" Meredith whined.

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Addison was already laying in bed before Derek came home, her head against the pillow as she looked blankly out of the window. Derek changed and slided into his side of the bed, looking over to his wife briefly before slipping under the covers.

"The contractorwill coming tomorrow to look at the piece of land." Derek informed, only receiving a slightly nod from Addison. "Do you want to be there?" he asked. Then, there was a short moment of silence.

"Ok." she said finally. Derek reached over and laida hand on Addison's forehead.  
"I'm fine, Derek." she mumbled, starting to drift off to sleep. With a sigh, he leaned in to plant a kiss her cheek and turned the lights off.

"Good night, Addie." he said softly.  
"Good night."

* * *

**A/N : **Don't shoot me. I need to start working to break the both of them up because this is not an AdDek story. :( 


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N :** Sorry that this update came later than usual. I was kinda out of inspiration, seriously. lol. And future updates will take slightly longer because I'm babysitting my cousin the whole of next week.  
Anyway, the following will be happening about 3 months after the day in the previous chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Meredith looked up with a smile as the door swung open, inviting the familiar tangy fragrance into her nose. "Hey." she greeted sweetly as the woman sat down on the chair opposite herself. Meredith had wore a white, lacy blouse with a knee-length demin skirt and soft-brown boots, and Addison had a red, off-shoulder, long-sleeved top on with a pair of faded blue jeans and black stiletos. 

"Hey." Addison greeted with a grin as she settled down opposite Meredith, flipping her curled red hair behind her shoulders. "Sorry I'm late." she apologised, handing her dark brown coat to the waiter who approached them. He took it and slipped it over the chair Addison was sitting on and whipped out a menu pad.

"Give us a minute." Meredith told him, then turned back with a dreamy smile to Addison. "It's ok. 5 minutes. I'll make sure I'll be 3 minutes late next time to even it out."  
"2. You were late 3 minutes the other day." Addison reminded her.  
"Well, 2 minutes and a few seconds on your watch doesn't count as 3 minutes." Meredith argued, leaning back to flip open the menu booklet. "What excuse did you give Derek this time?"

"I told him that I'm meeting a friend." Addison said, her eyes scanning the booklet.  
"I got lucky. All I need is to tell them I've got a hot date." Meredith teased. "He didn't ask who?"  
"Nope. Not exactly." She said.  
"Not exactly?" Meredith pushed on, flipping a page over.  
"Mmm-hmm. What are you getting?" Addison asked, changing the topic.  
"I'm thinking...pasta." Meredith mumbled.  
"Copycat." she said, the both of them looked up to each other with a grin.

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"Is yours any good?" Addison asked, shoving a forkful of pasta into her mouth as elegantly as possible. Meredith nodded, her mouth chomping down on the pasta filled up in it. She swallowed, taking a sip from her wine glass and licked her lips briefly.

"Exchange again?" she asked. It has been a routine of them exchanging the food they've ordered whenever they are out for meals. Addison shrugged and took a sip from the icewater the restaurant provides to ever customer. She lifted the plate slightly, ready to exchange it with Meredith's when the blonde stop her. Addison looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"  
"We could exchange seats instead." she suggested innocently.  
"Are you out of your mind?" Addison asked flatly, allowing the plate to be placed fully on the table again.  
"No, seriously. I hate to have the view of the entrance. It's distracting." she said, then continued on quickly as Addison started to open her mouth to interupt. "And you were late, so I had to sit here in order to see when you arrive without turning my head to check each time"

"And you want the view of a mesh of trees."

At that description, Meredith turned her head back for a brief moment, then looked back to Addison with a nod. "You're right. Too creepy. Switching the plates would do."

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"It's weird, don't you think?" Izzie blurted out suddenly. Alex turned to her expectantly as they strolled down the trail of the park under the stars.

"What's weird?" he asked, his arms swing back and forth as fingers on one of his hands interlocked with Izzie's. The blonde gave a shrug. "I mean, we've known each other for so long, we know who each other's dating. Like Cristina is with Burke, George's with Dr. Torres and we're together." she explained, turning to face Alex. "It's been 3 months, we all know Meredith has dates, and tonight, she as a hot date, definitely with the same person she's been dating for the past 3 months, but--" she took paused, taking in a breathe. "How can we not know who she's dating when we figured out about her and McDreamy only after a month they're together?"

Alex let out a dry laugh, pulling Izzie to him as his arms found themselves around her waist. "Hey, I don't care who she's dating, but on the bright side, she's happy. We don't gotta hear her whine day in day out." he pointed out. Izzie backhanded him in his arm but did not struggle free from his embrace.

"Who do you think she's dating? Someone from the hospital?" Izzie wondered out loud, her eyes shifting to Alex's hoping that he may come up with something that would be logical to the situation. Instead, Alex's shrugged.

"If it's someone from the hospital, I'd bet it's McHot. She's been wanting in to her surgeries like nobody's business. Each time Bailey mentions "Dr. Montgomery Shepherd needs a hand", Meredith's hand shoots up faster than a rocket even before the sentence finishes." he said, laughing. When he looked back into his girlfriend's eyes, there was firmness in them, and something else unreadable.

"What?" he asked innocently, his eyes shifting back and forth, trying to read her mind.  
"You call Addison 'McHot'?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yea, she's hot." he admitted. Izzie wrapped her arms around his neck, attempting to keep a straight face and stop herself from giggling. "Oh yea? Then what am I?" she challenged, raising an eyebrow.  
"Hmm...that'd be difficult." he said, his eyes shifting away in pretendance to think over the question. Izzie smacked him once again playfully as Alex dip her backwards and planted a kiss on her lips.

"I think you'd be McSpicey." he whispered playfully as they pulled away.

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"So..." Meredith started after a short moment of silence between then, poking away at the pasta that Addison ordered. "How's the house coming along?" she asked. Addison looked up to her with a shrug.  
"It looks half done. A little more than half done, actually." She said, swallowing the food in her mouth. "So if they are consistent, everything will be done by the next 3 months--hopefully." she explained.  
"I still can't believe you didn't tell me you are getting rid of the trailer." Meredith brought up. "I had to find out from overhearing the conversation while I was under the table." she teased.

At that, Addison rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Mere. How long have I known you then? I don't even know if we're considered 'together', you know. Plus, it was our first, secret lunch date!"  
Meredith raised an eyebrow at her, peeking up. "Oh, so if you put it that way, we should be considered 'together' now. So technically, you're having an affair." she said, almost like an attempt to piss Addison off. But instead, Addison looked up at her with a smile, delivering more food into her mouth.

"Technically, yea. I'm having an affair."

Meredith's teasing smile turned into a grin. "You know, for a second, I was afraid you were going to attack me with food." she admitted, taking a sip from her wine that had been recently refilled by a by-passing waiter.

"I was. Thank this restaurant for being posh. I'm still a Manhattan girl, you know."

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"Where are you going?" Izzie peeked out from the kitchen as Meredith headed out towards the door. She frozen, turning around with a smile on her face, lifting up the bag in her hands. "Breakfast date!" she called out, turning around in hope to escape. But Izzie came jogging towards her.

"Breakfast date? With who?" the taller blonde pushed on. "The same hot date?"  
"Maybe." Meredith said, turning the knob to the door panel. Izzie pushed her body against the door and eyed Meredith.  
"Why are you being so secretive? Do we know this guy?" But Meredith only smiled, pushing Izzie out of the way.

"I'm late."

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Dog padded around the red and white checkered mat, barking playfully at the butterflies and sweeping his paws at them trying to catch them.

"I still can't believe you brought breakfast food!" Addison exclaimed, chewing on a piece of bacon.  
"You're Manhattan girl, you don't have breakfast food for breakfast, what do you have?" Meredith asked, taking a sip from the hot coffee poured out into a cup from a flask as she leaned against the trunk of the tree behind her. They had decided to meet an hour earlier to have a breakfast picnic under the tree, shaded from the warm, morning sun.  
"Nothing." she admitted. "Alright, sometimes we do have breakfast food. But can you believe Derek? He goes fishing for trouts early in the morning and bring it home for breakfast. Trouts!" she complained, shaking her head.

Meredith laughed, poking at a clump of scrambled eggs and shoving them into her mouth. Addison took a sip of her coffee and suddenly, a sly grin spread across her face. Meredith looked to her with a frown. "What?" she asked, poking at a sausage with her fork.

"Nothing." Addison said, the grin still on her face. Then, without warning, she picked up a slice of bacon and flung it towards Meredith. She shrieked, ducking as the piece of food came flying at her. It missed her completely and landed on the grassy land. Dog, who had been paddling around them, headed up eagerly and savoured the piece of meat. Knowing that the coast is clear, Meredith looked up with a glare.

"We're not in a posh restaurant now." Addison pointed out. Meredith reached out and slapped Addison in her arm playfully. "You have a bad aiming though. Very, very bad." she said. Then Addison shrugged, dipping another slice of bacon in mayonaise innocently. And before Meredith knew it, it came flying straight into her face, smacking straight into her right cheek.

"Addison!" she yelled, grabbing a piece of napkin and wiping the food and sauce off her face. The redhead threw her head back with laughter. "The first piece was meant for Doc." she said between the laughs, now lying face up on the mat.

"Oh you're soooo dead." Meredith warned, throwing the dirty napkin straight into Addison's face.

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Izzie whipped her hair into a bun above her head, frowning as she did so. "Do you think it's the same guy?" she asked. George turned around to her, putting his coat on.

"I don't know." he said. "And frankly, I don't really care."  
"Who do you think it is, George? We work here all day long, we hardly have a life, it's gotta be someone from the hospital, right?" Izzie pushed on. "Meredith was out on a breakfast date this morning. With actual, breakfast food." she pointed out.  
George turned to her squarely, eyeing her for a second. "Which part of 'I don't care' don't you get? I'm with Callie now. I shouldn't be caring about Meredith." he said, slamming his locker shut. Izzie rolled her eyes and pulled out her coat.

"Why do I think you're so not over her?" she asked, adjusting her coat and shutting her locker.  
"I'm over her. I'm so over her you don't even know it." George insisted.  
"Whatever." Izzie muttered.

Alex crossed over the bench and gave Izzie a peck on her cheeks from behind, causing her to let out a surprised yelp.

"You know, George, if you are not over Meredith, you have to tell Dr. Torres that." Cristina said, joining them as she sat down on the bench, one leg on each side. She bit into the energy bar and chewed on it thoughtfully. George turned around and stared at each one of them.

"Why does everyone think I'm not over Meredith?"

"Meredith!" Izzie greeted, a smile on her face as she saw her room mate walk in, peeling off her coat and putting on her scrubs faster than she had ever seen.

Ignoring them, Meredith put on her coat and pushed her bag into the locker, closing it with her elbow as she combed her hair up into a ponytail with her fingers.

"How did the date go?" Izzie asked.  
"You have a date? That early in the morning?" Cristina asked. "I'd rather sleep."

Meredith turned around, realising that the four of them are looking at her expectantly, even George. "Uhh...it went well." she smiled.

"Huh." Izzie said, her gaze diverted to Alex behind her.  
"Very convincing, Grey." Alex laughed.

Then, it was the familiar voice of their resident as she walked into the locker room. "Assignments!" she announced, the interns scrambled up to their feet.

"Dr. Burke needs a hand." she said, three hands shot up. "O'Malley." she instructed, then looking back to the file on her hands. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd--" she started, but Meredith's hand was already high up in the air. Miranda frowned, looking Meredith up and down as the other three interns turned to her oddly.

"Alright, Grey, you're on it." she said, shaking her head. "Three of you, to the ER. It's pretty packed today, make yourselves useful there."

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"I told you." Alex said as the three of them headed towards the Emergency Room.  
"Told her what?" Cristina asked, turning around to face the both of them briefly. Izzie shook her head, now walking on the other side of Cristina, placing the asian girl between herself and Alex.  
"He suspects that Meredith has a thing for Addison." she said.  
"Seriously?" Cristina asked, turning to Alex. The man shrugged.  
"I suspect she's _dating_ Montgomery-Shepherd." he corrected. Cristina stopped for a moment, looking to him to check if he was really serious. "Noo.." she laughed, shaking her head as they continued to the ER.

"I'm serious." Alex insisted. "She's been so willing to be on every single of Montgomery-Shepherd's case"  
"That doesn't mean anything." Izzie cut him off, rolling her eyes.  
"Did Meredith tell you anything?" she asked, turning to Cristina.  
"No." she answered as they entered the ER. "I just assume that each date she's on is a different guy."

The sounds of sirens filled the room.

"Male, 43. Car accident, possible head trauma..."

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"Hey!" Addison greeted Meredith from behind this time, startling the blonde intern. She jumped, slightly, then turning around to face the attending.  
"Hey, hi!" she said, a smile spread across her face.  
"Did I scare you?" she asked, their eyes barely meeting as the both of them stood side by side, studying the file of one of their patients. "Well, yea. Kinda." she admitted. "I'm just not used to you greeting me down the hallway in the hospital, you know." Addison shut her file and threw Meredith a smile. "Get used to it, Dr. Grey." she said, and made her way to the patient's room, expecting Meredith to follow.

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"Where's Meredith?" Izzie asked as she slided into the chair with Alex and Cristina. George sat by the table not far away from them, sharing a laugh with his girlfriend, Callie Torres.  
"Somewhere." Alex said, tucking his chair under his legs as he pull open the plastic cover of his lunch box.  
"You guys realised that she haven't had lunch with us since... forever, right?"

Alex looked up to her with a raised eyebrow, Cristina had her head buried in a book. "Don't you guys care? I mean, this person she's dating has got to be from the hospital, right?" Izzie rambled on, crunching on a corn chip.  
"Seriously, Izzie." Cristina said, shaking her head.  
"I'm telling you, it's McHot." Alex shrugged.

Izzie shook her head and swallowed a gulp from her bottled water.

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Addison threw her head back with a laugh. Meredith leaned in and smacked her on her thigh.

"Shush!" she hissed, looking around to check if anyone were to walk in on them, then once again, she, who probably would be the faster of the two considering she's wearing scrubs and sneakers, will have to dodge under one of the gurneys and make Addison look like a lunatic laughing to herself.

"Ow!" Addison protested, rubbing tenderly at the sore spot Meredith hitted. "What was that for?" she frowned, biting into her sandwich.

"Someone might hear you!" Meredith warned. "The last time you stood on the opposite side from the catwalk and laughed, Derek heard it." she pointed out, chewing the sandwich. That shut Addison up, she chewed on her food silently and the both of them sat in silence for a brief moment.

Meredith looked up first, swallowing. "When are you going to tell Derek?" she asked, taking another bite from the sandwich. Addison winced at the question, picking at the bread. Finally, she sighed, giving in to Meredith's constant gaze.

"I don't know." She admitted. "I..I really don't."  
"Addie, I know 11 years of something is hard to forget. I'm not expecting you to... I'm just--"  
"19 years." Addison corrected. "19 years of something. We dated, got engaged, and then got married. Then we got busy and..." she sighed, deciding it's best not to go on.  
"Ok, 19 years of something." Meredith corrected herself. "I'm not expecting you to leave him in just a blink of an eye, I'm just... I just want you to make a decision...someday..soon." she said, finishing the rest of her sandwich. Addison bit her lower lip and looked away.

"Yea. I know." she said softly. Meredith jumped off the gurney and made her way to in front of Addison's gaze.  
"Hey." she whispered, searching to meet the attending's gaze. Addison diverted her gazeto the groundfor a moment before looking up to Meredith with a smile. Then it was like a magical moment, their gaze-locking caused Meredith to reach up, pulling Addison down for a kiss. She gave in, letting her eyes closed as she felt Meredith's mouth on hers, their lips working around each other as the kiss deepens.

Meredith groped around the gurney, pushing herself up onto it as they continued. Not long after, Addison was lying down on the gurney with Meredith's body propped up above her, the young intern's blonde hair merged with her own fiery red ones. She dropped the remains of the sandwich to the ground, the hand pushing a lock of hair away from Meredith's face as they stopped to look at each other lovingly for a moment. Then Addison shifted sideways allowingMeredith to lowerherself down onto the gurney, their lips met again as they laid beside each other. But that magical moment was broken with a voice that came unexpectedly.

"Can somebody tell me what the _hell_ is going on?"

* * *

**A/N :** Who found out? Guess, guess! Hehehehe (Ok, it's not a very difficult guess...) 


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N : **Ok, this chapter is shorter than the previous one. I feel cruel leaving you guys hanging there for a longer time because I probably wouldn't update tomorrow. Anyway...read to find out who it is!  
:)

* * *

At the sound of the voice, their lips part immediately, both of them scrambled into opposite directions. If Addison didn't hold the gracefulness she always had, she would have tumbled off the gurney and fallen flat on the ground in the most ungracious way. Instead, she swung her legs off the gurney and leaped off in a one smooth move, adjusting her coat and licked her lips. She cleared her throat uncomfortably and stole a glance to Meredith, who now sat on the gurney adjusting her hair. Self-consciously, Addison did the same while greeting the intruder awkwardly. 

"Miranda." she started, then adjusted her coat again, now looking at the shorter woman in the end as she simply stood on the spot, her eyes shifting back and forth between Meredith and Addison, her jaw hanging open with disbelief.

"Tell me you're not doing what I _think_ you're doing!" she demanded, putting a hand on her hip. Addison swallowed uncomfortably then casted a glance to Meredith, who immediately leaped off the gurney to Addison's defense.

"Dr. Bailey, I can explain..." Meredith stared, but Miranda shook her head, cutting her off.

"No, you don't need to explain. There's nothing much you can say to convince me that you are not doing what it looked like you are doing." she said, then turned around and started away from them. Addison followed quickly behind, calling after her. Knowing that she should leave the situation to Addison to handle, Meredith slumped back on to the empty gurney with a sigh.

"Miranda..." Addison called out, quickening her pace as she neared the resident who refuse to acknowledge her calls. "Miranda!" she called out again, this time right behind the resident. Addison shifted her position quickly, standing in front of the resident and looked her in the eye.

"Please," she plead, her voice then lowered into a whisper. "Don't tell Derek anything about this." she said. Miranda looked up at her oddly.

"Uh, no. I wouldn't. Because I don't want to have anything to do with your love or sex life." she said, only causing Addison to shoot her a glare. "Now, if you would excuse me, Addison, I have a patient to check on." she said, purposely ignoring the look the attending had shot her.

Addison nodded, allowing the resident to go without stopping her and shoved a hand through her red hair with a sigh. All she can hope now is for Miranda to keep what she saw to herself.

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Meredith allow herself to lean against the wall behind her, burying her face in her hands. _Oh god, Bailey knows... Bailey knows._ she thought. _What is going to happen if Derek finds out?_ she asked herself, then shook her head at that thought. She wants Derek to find out, she really wants Derek to find out, and perhaps it's better if the whole hospital finds out so they wouldn't have to sneak around and come up with excuses to see each other everytime. _But maybe not this way, not from Dr. Bailey._ she debated within herself. She knew Addison wasn't ready for things between them to be revealed, she wouldn't know how to handle it. And for that moment, Meredith realised that she didn't know if she wanted her relationship with Addison to be revealed. What was she going to tell her friends when they find out? She sighed, slipping off the gurney. On her way out of the corridor, she picked up the half-eaten sandwich and toss it into a dumpster nearby.

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George and Izzie stood side by side, backs facing each other as they tend to their patients who happen to be in the beds right next to each other. While checking her patient's vitals, Izzie could feel George boring his eyes straight into her back. She turned around, casting him a glance, noticing that he's now on the other side of his patient's bed.

"What?" she asked, looking back to the patient's charts and scribbled some notes.

"Nothing." George answered nonchalently, diverting his gaze back to the chart in his hands. Izzie capped her pen, pinned it onto the pocket of her coat and hung the chart by the foot of the bed and look to George expectantly, a hand on her hip as she waited for him to finish.

"What?" he looked up at her, frowning. George's pen scribbled over the piece of paper quickly, updating the patient's condition as he spoke. "Ok, fine." he said, then capping his pen and hung the chart back to its place. He looked up to Izzie this time, determined. "I'll help you figure it out."

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Izzie wore a grin on her face as she sat on the empty gurney opposite the vending machine, her legs hanging off the edge of it as George sat on the other end of the gurney, staring straight up ahead. It was the same corridor where Addison and Meredith spent their time together secretly.

"Alright, shoot. I'm helping you figure it out." George said finally. Izzie smiled, turning to her friend as she twirled a strand of hair with her finger.  
"You want to know too, don't you? You want to find out for yourself." Izzie teased. George started to open his mouth to object, but Izzie raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Ok, fine. I want to try to figure it out too." he admitted. "I..I'm curious. Can't I be curious?But itdoesn't mean I'm not over Meredith." he added quickly. Izzie just shrugged, too happy to have someone who is actually interested in what she's been pondering over than to care the true reason to his interest. Izzie turned to face George fully, pulling her legs up onto the gurney and folded them.

"Ok, so what we all know now is that Meredith is dating this mysterious, unknown guy for awhile, right?" she started, looking to George for a response. "Right?"  
"Oh yea, right. Uh-huh." George responded.  
"And we don't know who it is. But I definitely think it's someone from the hospital." Izzie said. This time, George frowned.  
"Why..why do you think it's someone from the hospital? Can't it be someone from the bar? You know Meredith has a habit of picking guys up at the bar." George pointed out with a shrug. Izzie shot him a glare at his statement.  
"What?" George defended himself. "I'm just saying. And it's true!" Izzie looked down, thinking on it for awhile then looked back up at George.  
"You have a point." she admitted. "But, if it's someone outside the hospital, why is she so secretive?"  
"I don't know." he shrugged. "Maybe he's some hot guy and he's afraid that we'll all be head over heels with her new boyfriend."  
Izzie ignored his comment and went on. "And why didn't her hot date ever turn up at the house? The last time she's got a hot date, who happened to be Dr. McDreamy, he even stayed over at her place."

Before George could answer, Izzie's pager beeped. She looked down to the black electronic with a sigh. "Gotta go." She announced, then looked up to George briefly. "We'll do a list of possible persons and do a process of elimination later." she promised, then rushed off.

George sat on the gurney and stared straight up ahead at the blank wall in front of him. _Izzie's got a point._ he thought. Now that his curiosity has gotten to him, George really wants to find out who Meredith has been dating for the past few months.

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Miranda passed the NICU, looking through it briefly to see Addison Shepherd checking on one of the infants. She sighed, pushing into the room with the charts she needed the attending to sign. Addison looked up at her expectantly as the resident who caught her and Meredith together earlier entered. Since the lady had not said a word that does not sound professional, Addison held her tongue on the topic.

"What is with you Shepherds?" Miranda muttered under her breathe as Addison scribbled her signature over the dotted line. The redhead looked up from the chart and casted a side glance to the resident.

"I heard that." Addison said when Miranda chose to ignore her glance. She looked up now, handing the charts back to Miranda.  
"Alright, fine." Miranda gave in. "Tell me. What's going on? Uhh..the Short version, please."

Addison sighed, watching as Miranda seated herself onto the armchair, gazing up at her expectantly_. Do I tell her the truth?_ she thought, looking away briefly in consideration. _Alright._ she decided, letting out a long breathe._ Better to have someone else to talk to about, right?_

She licked her lips briefly and turned her gaze back to the resident. "Meredith." she started. "She found me at the hallway, where you saw us, you know. And we started talking. And then it happened." she explained, trying to be as discrete as possible, unsure if Miranda wanted details, unsure if she was willing to share the details. But Miranda raised an eyebrow at her, clearly expecting more than that. "We...kissed." Addison splurted out.

"Uh-huh. And then?" Miranda pushed on, not at all surprised by what Addison had let on so far considering she had caught them making out on an empty gurney.

"And then it grew from there." Addison said, choosing her words carefully. Miranda looked to her for a second then stood up. She didn't need details to know what was going on. It was clear that both women had fallen for each other, and Miranda wasn't going to do anything to interfere too deeply into their personal lives.

"How long has it been?" Miranda couldn't help but ask. Addison swallowed, clearly uncomfortable to share the information. Catching the silent message, Miranda started to speak, but Addison cut her off.  
"Around four months." she said. Miranda had already saw the both of them together, Addison had figured it wouldn't hurt much to let it known completely. Details weren't demanded to be shared, and Addison was grateful for that.

"Do you know what you are doing?" Miranda asked, gathering the charts into her arms. Addison looked away briefly but nodded. "Yea." she said.

"And Derek?" Miranda asked.  
"He uhh... he doesn't know." she admitted softly.

"Let him know, soon." Miranda instructed, already knowing Addison's choice like she knew Derek's choice when he was made to choose. "You don't want to do what he had did to you and Meredith." she reminded her, heading towards the door. But before she opened it, Miranda turned back briefly to face the attending.

"Your secret's safe with me." she promised.

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The next day, Meredith stood right at the back of the group of interns as Miranda Bailey, their resident, entered the locker room with cases to assign them to. Miranda shot a brief glance at Meredith, but the intern looked away uncomfortably. Miranda opened her file and took a glance through.

"Alright, O'Malley, you're with Dr. Shepherd. Yang and Karev, you're with Burke, Grey, you're with Montgomery Shepherd, Izzie, you're with me today." she instructed, then the rest of the interns left separately, leaving Izzie behind with Miranda. But Meredith didn't leave immediately, she looked to her resident curiously. _Did Addison tell her something? Does she know now?_ As though feeling her glare, Miranda turned around and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Can I help you with something, Grey?" she asked, snapping Meredith out of her thoughts. Meredith shook her head furiously.  
"Then go!"

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"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." Meredith called out from behind, addressing the attending formally as she noticed her ex-boyfriend, Derek, who happened to be Addison's husband, standing right next to her. Addison took a glance behind at the sound of her voice.

"Good morning, Dr. Grey." she greeted. That caused Derek to turn around, his gaze shifting curiously from Meredith to Addison. Meredith gave in, looking up to the male attending and threw him a casual smile, but with nothing more than that. They gaze met briefly as he smiled back. Meredith broke the contact first, looking away.

"What can I do for you?" Addison asked, covering up the awkward moment that obviously the three of them are feeling, but all for different reasons.  
"Ahh...there's a case that I need your consult on." Meredith lied. Addison nodded, shutting the chart in her hands and turned to her husband briefly. "I'll see you later." she said. Without waiting for his acknowledgement that he only seems to show when he feels a need to, Addison headed off with the intern.

"Does Dr. Bailey know?" Meredith blurted out now that the both of them are a safe distance away from Derek.  
"Why?"  
"Did you request for me?" Meredith asked, shoving her hands into her lab coat's pocket as they headed towards the room of their first patient.  
"No." Addison said. _Didn't she volunteer?_ Then, it dawned on her. She stopped, looking to Meredith as the both of them realised it at the same time.

"Miranda assigned you to me"  
"Dr. Bailey assigned me to you." The both of them said in unison. Then, there was a moment of silence between them as they turned around the corridor towards their patient's room. Addison drew in a deep breathe and nodded before they entered the room. "Yea, Miranda knows."

Meredith stared at her. _Does she mean Dr. Bailey knows everything?_

"Good morning, Mrs. Hilson. I'm Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, and this is Dr. Grey." Addison introduced, gesturing towards Meredith as she addressed the intern, a radiant smile on her face. She handed the files over to Meredith casually as she took over the control of the ultrascan machine.

"I can take it from here. Thanks." Addison whispered to the nurse, giving her a friendly smile as she excused the nurse from the room. Addison pulled out a surgical glove and pulled it over a hand, squeezing a handful of gel onto her first two fingers.

"Alright, this is going to be a little cold." she informed the woman as Meredith folded the shirt up to reveal the bulging stomach. She spread the gel onto the woman's stomach and rolled the scanner over it, her eyes fixed on the screen as it revealed the fetus.

"She knows...everything?" Meredith blurted out. She couldn't wait any longer. At that, Addison turned to her with a warning glance, a tight smile on her face.  
"Yes, Dr. Grey?" she asked professionally. Addison wasn't one who was keen on her patients knowing about her personal life. She preferred to be as professional as possible with and in front of patients.Meredith caught the message and shook her head.  
"Uhh..nothing. I'm sorry." she apologised.  
"Don't be." Addison said almost coldly. But her green eyes had conveyed a different message to Meredith, and the blonde intern had caught it.

Miranda Bailey knows.

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**A/N : **There you go! I hope you liked this chapter! 

- Jess


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N :** Sorry this has taken long! Yay for me because no more babysitting my cousin! Which means, I can stay up later and write my fics. Hee. Anyway, thank you all so much for the reviews :) Timeline for the following chapter has been fast-forwarded to the time when the Shepherds' house is built.

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Izzie sat on the couch crossed legged, popping the popcorn into her mouth as the chickflick on the television played. A phone was sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder as she hear the voices on the other side of the receiver go on and on. 

"But George, no. I mean, it's been like what, more than 3 months since we've started making lists and lists of people she would possibly go out with? Ok, yes, it might be someone we don't know but who does she know that we don't?" she asked, chewing onto the plain popcorn from the clear, plastic bowl. She aimed the remote control towards the television and flipped the channel. It was nine in the evening and Izzie Stevens was alone in the huge house she shared with Meredith Grey. Meredith happened to be the intern on call that night and she called George in hope that she had not distrub any evening plans her best male friend has with his new, steady girlfriend. Thankfully, Callie Torres had a surgery through the night.

George sat in the makeshift room in the hospital, which happened to be where his girlfriend stays. He lay lazily on the couch, a hand holding a phone as he stared into space his eyes wandering around the displays around him. Not that he minded staying in the hospital like his girlfriend did. Preston Burke had just kicked him out of his apartment ever since Cristina decided to come out of her room completely naked. He nodded, mainly to himself as he hear Izzie on the other side of the phone rambling on and on. It has been months since the two of them had been trying to figure out who Meredith is dating. Izzie refused to talk to Alex since all he kept insisting that it must be Addison Shepherd that Meredith is dating, and as for Cristina, she doesn't know anything, and she doesn't seem to be interested in knowing. _"If Meredith wants to tell me, she will."_ Cristina had said. George reckoned that Cristina is like the intern version of their resident, Miranda Bailey.

"George!" Izzie yelled into the phone.  
"Hu--What?" he stuttered out. He heard a sigh over the phone, already able to imagine Izzie rolling her eyes at his response.  
"Never mind." she mumbled, then there was sounds of crunching.  
"Are you eating?" he asked. "At this hour?"  
"Mmm-hmm." Izzie voiced over. "Jealous? You'll be eating here with me if you still stay here." she said.  
"I'm going to uhmm, hang up..right now." George warned.  
"Alright, alright! I'm sorry. Anyway, back to topic. Who does she know that we don't?"

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Meredith place a hand over her mouth to stiffen a yawn as she sat on the empty gurney, her legs danging off the edge. She closed the file, placing it down next to her on top of the pile that was already there for the last two hours and opened the next one on her lap.

"I hate you, Bailey. Hate hate." she mumbled under her breathe. Meredith had heard that Addison will be in Seattle Grace through the night and when Miranda had asked for a volunteer to be on-call that night, she raised her hand. Little did she know that instead of scrubbing in to cool surgeries or doing something else that gives an edge, she would be stuck doing what she had dreaded the most. Meredith leaned her head back onto the wall behind her and closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Ya on-call?" a voice asked. Immediately, Meredith's eyes snapped open, shifting around before then landed onto the familiar figure of a tall woman. Her hair was in curls today, and even after a long, full day in the hospital, she still managed to look gorgeous.

"I hate you." Meredith complained. Addison Montgomery Shepherd raised an eyebrow and pushed herself off the wall she was leaning against and made her way towards the intern.  
"I'm not the one who place you on-call, for real." she said, placing a hand against the surface of the gurney and another on her hip. She looked over, taking a peek at the chart on Meredith's lap.

Meredith continued to stare at her as the attending squint her eyes under the lack of light to try and read the words. "I hate you for being... you." she blurted out. Addison looked up at her, a confused frown across her face. But Meredith went on. "How can you remain so gorgeous even staying in the hospital for the entire day? I mean, look at me. My hair's in a mess, I look like crap, my scrubs probably smells like...I don't want to go there. And you. Your hair's perfect, your makeup's still on and you clothes. You do know that you're probably the only attending around who never wear scrubs outside surgery, right?"

At that, Addison couldn't help but smile. "Well, I don't know what to say." she said, laughing a little.  
"Say you'll help me do these." Meredith said, gesturing to the pile of undone charts on the other side of the gurney. "And that you'll tell me your secret to look like that."

Before Addison could say anything, her pager beeped. "I would," she said, looking down at her page. "But duty calls." she offered an apologic shrug, then leaned up to give Meredith a peck on her lips before walking away.

"I still hate you!" Meredith called after her, but a smile tug at her lips.

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The Shepherds had spent the first night the house was built and ready together, having dinner that Derek made. Addison had laid the table, and they shared a meal like a couple would. Talking, joking, teasing and especially flirting. Addison appreciated it, but surprisingly, she found her thoughts wandering to Meredith now and then. And tonight was one of the rare nights where the two busy surgeons were at home on the same night, awake--well, even if it was just for a few minutes.

"Addie!" Derek called out, surprised when he opened the front door of their newly built house only to be greeted by his wife, all dressed up. "Where are you going?" he asked. The house has already been neatly decorated by Addison herself a week after their house has been built. Derek didn't mind the way it is now, it felt like home. Home in terms of it being in Seattle, a place that he had actually grew to love, and home in terms of New York, a place where he lived the past years of his life in.

"Out." she said, clipping her earrings to her ears. "For a movie." she explained.

"Oh." Derek responded, taking a glance at his wife as he peeled off his coat to hang it on the hanger. She walked towards him and took his bag, settling it down onto the couch in the living room for him as he headed to the kitchen for a cup of water. "With who?"

Addison smiled, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek. "No one you know." she said. Derek nodded, taking a gulp from the cup. Before he could say anything, Addison picked her bag up and headed to the door. "Well I'd better go. She'll kill me if I'm late." Addison smiled.

"You are not cheating on me, are you?" Derek asked, a suspicious expression across his face. Addison froze on the spot at the question, but turned to him with a frown instead. "Which part of '_She_'ll kill me.' did you not get?" she asked. Then, a smile spread across his face.

"I'm kidding. Have fun."

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"Hey!" Addison brisk walked over to Meredith, giving her a quick hug in greeting.  
"Hello." Meredith responded, a tight smile across her face as she leaned forward to receive the hug. "You're late." she pointed out, a box of popcorn in one hand and a large cup of soda in another. "And you must be glad I have the brains to get these before you come." The blonde's eyes looked to the snacks that occupied her hands in gesture. At that, Addison rolled her eyes purposely with a sigh.  
"Alright, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I owe you--" she stopped, looking at her watch. "10 minutes." she announced. At that, Meredith's smile broke into a grin.  
"C'mon, let's go." Addison said, starting to walk off. But Meredith stood grounded on the spot, causing the redhead to turn around with a frown.  
"What? You got the tickets already, right?" she asked.  
"Yea." Meredith nodded. "Except you kinda have to take it from the back pocket of my jeans."

"Which side?" she asked, taking large strides back towards Meredith.  
"Left." the blonde instructed as she felt Addison's slender fingers reach into the back of her pocket to draw out the tickets.  
"I could actually have helped you hold either one of those." Addison said, gesturing a finger to the two objects in Meredith's hands. The blonde look up to her with a cheeky grin.

"I know. I just wanted you to reach down my ass to get the tickets."

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"I never knew you were into such movies." Meredith leaned over in a whisper as _'Wolf Creek'_ rolled onto the large screen in the cinema. Addison turned to her with a glare, reaching out to the popcorn box sandwiched between the both of them. She grabbed a handful and toss it into Meredith's face, causing the blonde to shriek. At least, shriek as softly as she can.

"What!" Meredith hissed.  
"Shush! Watch the movie." Addison instructed.

----------------------------------------

After several attempts to start one of the many cars in the garage, it worked. The girl breathed a sigh of relief as the lights poured into the dark garage, the radio on the deck shone light into her face as she leaned back to the seat to take a short breather. _It's_ _going to happen, it's going to happen. Something bad is going to happen._ Meredith thought, shrinking underneath the sweater that she had brought along with her. It was suppose to keep her warm if the cinema gets too cold for comfort, but instead, it turned out to be a blanket to shield her eyes from scenes that she couldn't bring herself to watch. One of which is now.

Then, as Meredith had suspected, it happened. Light poured into the backseat as a knife slice through the driver's seat, straight into the girl's back, its end jutting out from the front of her body. Meredith let out a yelp as the girl on screen screamed. Under her sweater, she took a glance towards Addison. The woman was engrossed in the show, her expressions changed now and then, showing disgust, a wince, a grimace. _At least she isn't that psychotic._ And then, came the sickening pludge of a weapon into a victim's body. Instead of watching the big screen, Meredith's eyes were on Addison's face, marvelling at her beauty as the different lightings from the screen shone on her face, at the same time, to gauge when each gruesome scene has come to an end.

When Addison shifted on her seat, Meredith straightened herself from the seat, but the sweater was still above her face. She gave Addison a nudge in her arm, catching her attention briefly.

"Is it over?" she whispered. Addison turned to her, the look of disgust had yet to disappear.  
"Yes. And I think I've just lost my appetite." she said, handing over the box of popcorn. Meredith reached out and popped some into her mouth, removing the sweater from her view.

"If it's bad enough to disgust you and take your appetite, it must have been really really gross." she observed, and Addison only nodded in response.

----------------------------------------

It was just any other day for Addison Shepherd, like the way it was back in New York. Settling. Derek had said he wouldn't settle, to himself, at least. And then he told his wife he's working on noticing her. But even as world-class surgeons with nothing to prove, they are still as busy as before. Why? Because being world class surgeons, everyone would be demanding for them, wanting only the best and not the second best to perform an operation on them. It wasn't Derek's fault, but everytime he comes home, it's deja vu all over again. Casual greetings, brief smiles, pecks on the cheeks. Him taking a bath then falling into the bed fast asleep before they can even have a decent conversation. Mornings were just about the same. Brief exchanges over breakfast, if they were lucky, and then that's just it. NeoNatal and Neurological surgeries seldom clash and they don't get to see each other all that often.

So tonight, like any other night, Addison Shepherd was alone, in their new house. But instead of sitting in bed reading, waiting for her husband to come home only to settle beside her without a word and fall asleep the very next second, she was on the couch, in the living room, channel surfing and talking on the phone. Her laughter travelled through the empty house as she turned the television off, swinging her slender legs up onto the couch and shifted a little to be comfortable against the cushions.

"What are you doing?" the voice from the other side of the phone asked. Addison shrugged, mainly to herself considering the other person can't see.  
"Nothing. There's nothing good on tv." she said, running her fingers through her red hair. She took a glance up at theclock briefly. _When is he coming home?_ she thought.

"Well, guess what _I'm _doing." Meredith said, walking from her kitchen to the living room. Izzie Stevens was up in her room, chatting on the phone on a separate line. Meredith sat down on the couch and place the plate next to her. She took aim at the television and switched it on with the remote, flipping the channels. Addison raised an eyebrow from her side, hearing voices through the receiver.  
"I don't know. Having a party?" she asked. Meredith laughed, turning the television off.  
"No!" she said. "I'm actually eating the most disgusting thing you'll ever know. Something _you_ probably will never eat." she teased.

Addison sat up straight on her couch now, pulling out a fashion magazine from the rack and started thumbing through it for something interesting. "Seriously? Well, try me." she challenged. Meredith swallowed the food in her mouth and shifted on the couch.

"Ok. I'm eating--banana with peanut butter and chocolate fudge." she announced. At that, Addison looked up from her magazine and frowned, actually wondering what it will look like, and taste like.

"You still there?" Meredith asked, delivering another peanut butter spreaded and chocolate fudge drenched banana slice into her mouth.  
"Yea. Uhmm..ew?" Addison said, her gaze falling back onto the magazine on her lab. Meredith laughed.  
"Ew? Wait till you try it, seriously. And what are you doing?" she asked.

"Browsing through magazines." Addison said monotonously. Then, she shut it, placing it back to the rack and made her way to the kitchen. "And, looking for something to...snack on." she said. "It's all your fault. All yours and Derek's fault." she complained, opening the fridge.

"Me? What does it has to do with me? Ok, Derek's fault, maybe, but me?" Meredith complained, not actually knowing the problem at hand at all.  
"Yes, you." Addison said, cutting apple cubes and pulling grapes out to drop them into a bowl. "You mentioning about food and Derek not being home and I'm bored! I'm so bored that at the mention of food, I've decided to get some myself. And if I gain any weight..."  
"Oh, so you're saying that it's actually_ my_ fault that you're eating because you're bored?" Meredith clarified.  
"Ok, and the television's fault. There's nothing interesting on." Addison complained, washing the knife and placing back into its rack. Then she turned back towards the fridge, opening it to pull out a tub of plain yoghurt and added some to her plate of fruits.

Then, there was a brief moment of silence. Addison stuck the spoon into her mouth as she placed the yoghurt back into the fridge, closing the door with a sideway knock from her hips.  
"What are you eating?" Meredith asked, partially out of curiosity, partially wanting to keep the conversation going.

"Apple cubes and grapes with plain yoghurt." Addison said between her bites. On the other side of the phone, Meredith made a face. "Seriously?" she asked.  
"Yea, seriously."

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Hours later, the dirty utensils are dumped into the dishwasher, Addison laid in bed above the covers, the phone still in her hands.

"Meredith..." she called out wearily.  
"Hmm?" the voice responded. Like Addison, Meredith was too, in bed. She lay sideways, snuggling up against her pillow as she spoke. "I'm falling asleep." Addison said softly, her eyelids feeling heavier as each second pass by.  
"Yea..." Meredith's voice responded. "Me too..."

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_She's happy. She-Addison Montgomery Shepherd-my wife, is happy. Why? I haven't been home for nights, just like how it's been back in New York. I said I'll try, I said I'll be working it, but sometimes, I just can't keep my mind off the woman who was suppose to be my one night stand. Did the new house make her happy? It seems that Addison has found a friend in Seattle. Don't ask me who, though. I don't know. But Addison being Addison, who wouldn't want to be her friend? Well, that is, if they took time to know her instead of jumping on the bandwagon to hate her because their friends do. Which is silly, really. Very...high-school. And the people I'm talking about are actually the interns under Miranda Bailey. Sometimes I wonder, is that the reason for choosing Addie? Because Meredith _is_ too young? I mean, look at them. They're practically going through the 'high school' period of their medical career._

_The only thing in the hospital that spreads faster than disease is rumours. And it's the truth. I'm not sure if I should be thankful of it or not. From the circling rumours, I've heard that Meredith has been dating this mysterious person for almost half a year now. So when she said there's someone else, she was actually telling the truth. It's been kept really secretive though. No one knows about it. Not even her room mates or her best friend, Cristina. I should be happy that she' moving on, right? But a small small part of me just wish she wouldn't, that she will be there standing, waiting for me to run back to her. Selfish, Derek. That's what Miranda would say to me._

_Enough of Meredith, she shouldn't be the one that I'm thinking about. She shouldn't be on my mind at all. Addison should be. And the point is, she's happy. Things are pretty much a deja vu from the days we had in New York, only except this time, she's happier. Is she cheating on me? Because it'd be impossible since this new friend she's been meeting happen to be a female._

_And now to the both women. Meredith has been assigned to Addie almost all the time, and they actually are fine about it. No complains from Addison, or Meredith. Maybe they're being professional, maybe Bailey has something up her sleeve. Say Meredith did something and she's punished by being assigned to Addison for a long period of time. But the thing is, both Addie and Meredith are getting pretty friendly with each other. Tonight, I came home to find Addison already asleep on our bed. When I move to pull the covers over her, our cordless phone was found in her hands. I picked it up. The line was still there though, but there was no response from the other side when I called out. Maybe they fell asleep talking, so I hung it up for her. But when the call ended sign pops up with the number, I was surprised to find it to be Meredith's._

_Is there something I'm missing here?_

_- Derek Shepherd_

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**A/N :** I hope you like it :D 


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N :** Ok, I know y'all have been dying to have Derek find out but... I've decided to have everyone else know about it first. Yes, I'm evil like that. Thank you for all your reviews, and I hope you'll like this chapter! (A part on AdDek squee.)

* * *

Meredith's eyes shifted through the words on the chart, feeling the eyes of the male intern, Alex Karev, on her. She looked up with a frown, glaring at him, but he simply raised an eyebrow, shaking his head and looking back down to the chart.

"What?" she asked. The both of them were stuck doing charts that morning, both seated side by side on the floor in the intern's locker room.

But Alex only laughed, resulting a jab into his ribs from Meredith's elbow. "Hey!" he warned, looking up at her with a glare. But Meredith did not feel intimidated, instead, she pushed on.  
"Stop it." she said.  
"Stop what?" he asked, almost too innocently.  
"Stop giving me those looks, stop smiling to yourself and stop giggling."  
"I don't do giggling, men don't giggle. If anyone is to giggle, it's Izzie." he pointed out, scribbling on the chart in his hands then shut it, reaching out for another one.

Meredith shook her head and went on with her charts. "If you're not going to tell me what you want, quit looking at me like that." she said, jotting down notes on the chart and moved on to the next one on the pile in front of the two of them. Alex looked to her one more time and then folded his arms in front of his chest. Meredith sighed, looking up to him, ready to threaten, or warn, but Alex spoke up first.

"Who is this...mysterious person that you've been going out with?" he asked.  
"Why do you care?" she shot back. Alex shrugged, unfolding his arms and allowing himself to read the chart in front of him.  
"Izzie's been bugging everyone about it and after awhile, she seems to make sense and I got curious." he said, looking up at her for only a brief moment before his eyes returned to the chart. "So who is it?" At that, Meredith shrugged, keeping a cool front.  
"Nobody you know."  
"Well in that case, I'm just gonna have to fiiigure it out."

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"Stop it." Cristina ordered. Izzie turned to her with a frown.  
"Stop what?"  
"Stop looking at every male that walk pass you dressed as a hospital staff"  
"What?"  
"You know what." Cristina said, leaning against the nurses' station as the both of them waited for the assignments to come.  
"Don't you want to know too? Have you actually asked her?" Izzie asked, leaning her back against the counter as her eyes started observing guys, wondering which one could be the one that Meredith may date. Probably someone with Derek's hair, or at least look a little like him.  
"No." Cristina said bluntly. "I don't want to know, and no, I haven't actually asked her because I don't want to know."

Izzie rolled her eyes at that. "Aren't you suppose to be her best friend or something?" Cristina turned to her with a frowned. "I mean, isn't what best friends suppose to do? Ask each other about their love lives or something like that?"

"I don't do girly best-friends stuff."

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Alex looked up from his chart as the both of them stood by the nurses' station. "Something caught your interest, Grey?" he asked, looking back down from his chart. But Meredith was too engrossed. Not getting a response out from the blonde, Alex looked up again, his gaze shifted to where it had caught Meredith's attention. Then he saw it. The redheaded attending standing by the patient's room, intensely trying to calm the family down to explain the procedure the patient has to go through. At that sight, Alex snorted with a laugh, shaking his head.

"I knew it's gotta be Addison Shepherd." he said, mainly to himself. But Meredith heard it. Actually, it was the word "Addison" that caught her attention. She snapped out of her daydreaming state and jerk her head back to Alex.

"What?" she asked blankly, but that only cause Alex to laugh.  
"You so have the hots for her." he pointed out, his eyes still fixed onto the paperwork in front of him. Meredith shook her head, feeling her cheeks glow pink with heat. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Oh yes you do. You've been dating McHot. No wonder Izzie and George couldn't figure out who it is. They've had their eyes scoutting for males that they think might be dating you." he explained, shaking his head. Meredith only look to him with a glare, speechless. Then Alex turned to her, studying her expression. Meredith ignored him but he went on.  
"I saw the way you were looking at her. There's no shame in it Meredith. So you're dating a married attending, big deal. It isn't like you haven't done it before. And you know what's better? The one that you dated before happen to have the same last name as the one you're dating now." he teased. Meredith look up to him and slammed the chart shut, leaning in as her voice dropped into a whisper.

"If you tell this to anyone, I will kill you." she hissed, slotting the chart into the pile and headed off, leaving Alex there, speechless.

"Oh." he managed, his eyes shifting to where Meredith had went and back to Addison. "She's_ actually_ dating her?"

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It was lunch, and for once in a long, long while, Meredith is sitting by the table with her fellow interns. Addison was stuck in a surgery through lunch. What was different is that today, Alex and Izzie weren't with her and George was still on the other table with Callie.

"So it's just us." Meredith licking the yoghurt off the plastic spoon. Cristina looked up to her with a raised eyebrow.  
"Alex and Izzie are sexing each other up in one of the closets, Burke's off in surgery and apparently, I think your mysterious date is somewhere busy so yes, it's just us." she explained, poking at her salad as her eyes drift back to the article she was engrossed in. Meredith looked to her with a frown. Feeling the look casted to her, Cristina looked up to her friend.  
"What? You want to sex me up?"  
"No! Eww! What makes you think I'm dating someone from the hospital?" she asked, delivering another scoop of yoghurt into her mouth. The chocolate pudding on the table was left untouched, waiting for lunch to be over so Meredith can pass it to Addison.

Cristina shut her magazine and crossed her legs under the table, shifting her body to face Meredith. "Ok, we work 80 hours a week, which is four hours less than half of the entire week, which means we basically work 12 hours a day. The rest of the 12 hours we spend are eating, bathing and sleeping, and you're telling me that within the 88 hours of free time you have in a week, you actually have the time to go out and socialise?"

Meredith stared at her, the spoon in her mouth as she thought of something to prove Cristina wrong. But when nothing came up in her mind, she sighed, pulling the spoon out of her mouth.  
"Soooo, who is it?" Cristina asked, pushing another mesh of salad mix into her mouth. Meredith shot her a glance, munching on a chip. Cristina stared back, gesturing her hands in the air, clearly expecting just a glance from Meredith. The blonde shifted her chair inwards. "Fine." she said. "When I tell you who it is, you cannot laugh, and you certainly cannot tell anyone else about it." Cristina nodded, waiting as Meredith drew in a deep breathe.  
"I'm telling you this because you're my best friend." she said. "Alright, fine. I _swear_ I wouldn't breathe a word about it to anyone." Cristina promised. Meredith took a look around her uncomfortably, then leaned in to Cristina slightly as her voice dropped into a whisper. "I... It's Addison Shepherd." she said, her gaze fixed on Cristina to guage her reaction, almost daring her to laugh. A smile tug at the asian's lips, causing her to receive a smack in her shoulder by the blonde.  
"You promised you wouldn't laugh!" Meredith hissed. Cristina bit her lip and drew in a deep breathe.  
"Ok, ok." she said, then leaning forward to Meredith. "Seriously, for real?" And from the look on Meredith's face, Cristina's smile faded. She leaned back to the chair and watch as Meredith gave her a helpless shrug.  
"Meredith, do you even know what you are doing?" she asked. Meredith turned to her with a puzzled look. "Alright, fine. You're into girls now, it don't matter to me. Ok, as long as you don't hit on me. But, Addison? You are aware that she's _Derek's_ _wife_, right?"

Meredith sighed, her spoon stirring around the cup of yoghurt. "Yes, I know Cristina. Say it. I have thething for dating married attendings who happen to have the last name as Shepherd." she said flatly.  
"Does Derek know about it?" Cristina asked, taking a swig of water from the bottle. Meredith shook her head.  
"No. No one else knows about it. Except for you, of course. And Alex."

This time, Cristina straightened her body and leaned in to Meredith. "You told Evil Spawn before you told me?" she demanded.

"Nope. He figured it out."

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"Hey, did you find out anything from Meredith?" Izzie asked, twirling her hair up into a bun as she followed her boyfriend towards the nurses' station to be assigned to after-lunch patients. Alex shook his head. "You wouldn't want to know."  
"Meredith told you something?" Izzie pushed on, her question catching George's attention, who happened to be not far away from them. He gave a peck on Callie's cheek and jogged towards them.  
"You found out something from Meredith?" he asked.  
"Did Meredith tell you who the mysterious date is?" she asked, falling in pace next to Alex, George joining them on the other side of Alex. "Alright," Alex gave in. "It's Addison Shepherd."  
"Dude, c'mon!" George laughed as Izzie rolled her eyes.  
"That joke is so overdued, Alex."

Then, as they reached the nurses' station, a loud crack caught their attention. In fact, it caught the attention of everyone that was near. Alex, Izzie and George turned towards the sound, eyeing the fallen phone on the ground as Meredith started walking away, her breathe so loud it was almost audible.

"Something's wrong." Izzie sensed, starting to go after her. "Meredith!"

But Alex placed a hand in front of her, stopping her. As she struggled to get out of the way, he spoke up.  
"Wait, watch." he instructed. And true enough, Addison Shepherd appeared around the corner, running after the blonde intern. It took a second more for Izzie and George to realise that Alex was telling the truth.

"Oh my god. It is her."

"Yeap." a new voice stated. They turned to it, finding Cristina standing behind them. "It's her."

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It was once again the scent that caught his attention. The prescence, too. He looked up, frowning to see his wife running in heels, obviously chasing after something. He let his gaze shift to what was in front of Addison and found Meredith, tears streaming down her face as she quickened her pace, her mouth slightly opened as she gasped for air with each step. He placed the signed file into the hands of the fellow attending and started towards the both of them, curious to find out what happened. _Did Addison do something?_ he wondered. But as he approached, his wife held out a hand to him without looking, as though knowing that he would approach.

"Not now, Derek." she said, then quicken her pace towards the intern.

"Meredith!" she called out once again.

_Am I really missing something here?_ he frowned, stopping on the spot as he watch his wife go after his ex-girlfriend.

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Addison was three feet away from the nurses' station, giving her scrub nurse instructions for the pre-op to the upcoming surgery when she heard a loud cracked. She jerked her head curiously to the sound, only to find the phone from Meredith's hand hitting the ground. _What the hell is going on?_ she wondered. Meredith gasped, her breathe quickened as her eyes fixed onto a distance. Then, she started walking away, leaving the phone laying on the floor. Addison turned back to the scrub nurse.

"Push the surgery 2 hours back. Page me when you're ready." she instructed, turning to go after Meredith. She turned the corner, watching as the intern's shoulders heave up and down as she quickened her pace down the hallway.

"Meredith!" she called out, picking up her speeds as fast as she can in the heels she was wearing. The intern shook her head, ignoring her calls. But Addison did not give up, she followed on, calling out for her again. But this time, from the corner of her eye, she saw Derek coming towards them. And as he neared, she held out a hand to stop him.

"Not now, Derek." she said, without even turning to him. Her eyes are fixed on Meredith as she continued away. "Meredith!" she called out again, quickening her pace towards the intern.

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Meredith couldn't even find the words to say as she heard the message announced over the phone. She felt her heart skip a beat, a breathe held in for almost a minute before she let it out again. She could hear her name being called out through the receiver. Slowly, the phone slided off her hand as her arm fell limp to the side. She drew a breathe in, trying to calm herself down. But it failed, turning into a gasp. She gasped again, feeling the breathe taken away from her instead of being brought in. _I need to get out of here._ she thought, then started to walk away from the crowd, making her way through the hallway. Her mind whirled, but she could hear Izzie's voice from behind, calling her--once. Then, it was the clicking of the heels, the sound that she memorised. And her voice rung through the air. Meredith shook her head. She couldn't deal with anyone right now, not even Addison. But the woman followed on, her heels clicking behind Meredith. And then, it was her voice again, but this time, the message not directed to her, but to Derek Shepherd, instructing him to stay away before she called out to her again.

_I can't deal with this._ Meredith thought, the tears streaming down her face, the rest that were welled up in her eyes blurred her vision. She blinked, letting them flow. Finally, she saw it. She turned, pushing open the supply closet and slipped into it, pressing her back against the door as she slided down to the floor in darkness.

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Addison followed, stopping in front of the closet before Meredith shut it. She raised her hand, about to push open the door. _No._ she hesistated. She drew in a deep breathe, wondering if she should leave the intern alone for some space or she should barge in to check if she was alright. Then, the sobbings came, silent at first, then it was almost audible from the other side of the door. Addison leaned forward to the door, giving a light knock.

"Meredith." she called out from outside. "I'm coming in."

She pushed open the door, finding Meredith now curled up against the rack, her chest heaved up and down as she gasped for air through her tears. Addison shut the door, putting them into darkness again.

"Meredith." she whispered, lowering herself down beside the intern. She didn't know if it was a good idea to even touch her to comfort her. The blonde intern sobbed, her lips moved, taking in gasps of breathe.

"Shhh..." Addison instructed. "Breathe." she soothed her. Meredith shook her head, trying to form words from her mouth.

"I... She... I can't..." she managed, but dissolve into sobs again. Addison reached out, pulling out a paper bag to hand it to the intern. She shook her head again.

"She... My mother..." she said, drawing in another huge gasp. "She's dead." she blurted out, her shoulders hunched as she put her head down to her knees. "She's dead, Addison." Meredith cried. "I... I didn't even get to say goodbye." she choked out.

Addison sat beside her, her jaw fell open at the news. Ellis Grey was once her mentor, a great surgeon who performed any miracle surgeries, invented tons of those that had never been done before, but was succeeded under her knife. Swallowing, Addison reached out gently to brush the blonde hair back, hoping the action would soothe the girl. _How is Richard going to handle this?_ she thought.

Meredith lifted her head, her shoulders shook as she sob. Addison handed the bag to her as she took it, trembling. Meredith licked her lips, trying to quieten her sobs as she placed the bag over her nose and mouth, breathing into it.

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(Addison's POV)

From that moment on, I knew. I could no longer do it with Derek. I could no longer read his thoughts like I could before, we can no longer have silent conversations, have mindless arguments, we can't even flirt. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with his attitude, his indecision between me and Meredith. I've tolerated it before, and I'm still tolerating it now. Or at least, I thought I have. In reality, I have fallen in love with Meredith that I started not to care about the inattention Derek has been giving me. And today, I knew.

I had chased Meredith down the hallway when I saw the phone slip out of her hands, I ignored the looks given to us as we pass them, and I even stopped Derek from going after her because I know I should be there for her. I felt my heart tug at the death of Meredith's mother, not because I was close to Ellis, but because I was close to Meredith. It was what I should have felt if the same thing had happened to Derek. Now I know how Derek must have felt when he was placed with the choice of choosing between Meredith and I, because tonight, in just a few hours time, I'm just going to do the same.

I got home early tonight, the postponed surgery went well. I should be there for Meredith but tonight, there was something I had to do. Derek was going to come home in three hours time. In the bathroom, I filled the tub with hot water to get ready for a bubble bath. It took an hour for me to finish, then I slipped into a bath robe, placing aromic candles around the room, each in a small bowl of water, lighting them up when it was just half an hour before Derek's car would pull into the driveway. I turned off the lights to our bedroom, smiling at the glowing effect the flames created. The scent from the candles circulate the room. Rose. I thought of using lavendar, but decided against it. Lavendar is the smell of Meredith's hair conditioner, and tonight, I don't want him to be thinking of Meredith when he was doing it with me. Tonight, I don't want _me_ to be thinking of Meredith at all. Satisfied, I changed into a thin piece of night gown. Red, like the color of my hair.

True enough, the engine that roared as the vehicle pulled into the drive way died down at the exact time I expect Derek to be home. There was the jingle of the keys before they get slotted into the lock. I could remember the sound of it. It was the same one, even back in New York. I placed a CD into the hi-five set and pressed play, just as the front door closed. The slow ballad poured into the room, I smile. Tonight will be the night. In my mind, I picture him hanging his coat on the hanger, heading first to the kitchen only to find a note on the counter. A note that I left him.

_"Come to the bedroom. We need to talk."_

It had said. Of course, we wouldn't be doing any talking.

And true enough, I hear the faint footsteps on the stairs that lead straight up to our bedroom. I hop into bed, laying horizontally across, waiting for the door to open. I smiled, propping my head up with my hand as my elbows dug into the mattress as the wooden door creek open. But he just stood there, shocked, surprised, and possibly, confused.

"Hi." I purred, a finger drawing circles to the sheets in front of me, making sure that he saw it. And he did, his blue eyes drifted down to my hand, then travelled up to my shoulders, and all the way down to my toes, visibly checking me out. I smiled, patting the space in front of me to beckon him over. He swallowed, stepping away from the door and closing it behind him.

"Addie," he started. I slided out of bed elegantly, making my way seductively towards him. He swallowed again, his eyes glued onto me as his tongue flickered out to dry his lips. "I...I thought you--"

"Shh..." I said, placing a finger gently to his lips. I lay a hand on his chest and leaned into his ear, my breathe tickling down his neck. I could feel his heart beat increase under my palms, his chest rose up and down. "Tonight," I whispered. "I'm yours."

I feel him take in a deep breathe to compose himself as I pulled back, my green eyes locking into his blue ones. I smiled, and for a moment, I thought he did too. He leaned in, lips parting slightly as his eyes slowly drift close. I took the cue and did the same, tasting the familiar as our lips met. Soft, at first, then they parted again, pressing against each other harder this time. I feel his hands on my neck, the warmth spread through my body. My hand reached up, cupping at his chin as I pushed him against the door, another hand sliding under his shirt, pulling it upwards to tug it off. We stopped, hands around the hems of his shirt as we pull it over his head together. He grinned, his blue eyes dancing with desire as he looked into mine. I rested my hands onto his shoulders, allowing them to slide down to his arms that he had around my waist.

"God, you're beautiful." he said. I wishedhe had saidit more often. He leaned forward, dipping me backwards as his lips touched mine. Our bodies moved, and soon, I feel my back leaning against the smooth sheets of our bed. His body hovered above mine, his hand reached out to brush strands of my red hair away as the rest pooled under my head. I reached up, my fingers tracing his collar bone. He leaned foward to kiss again, his hands grabbing my shoulders as we flipped over on the bed, our positions switched. My hair fall down like a curtain around our faces, inches apart as I made my way down, kissing him softly on the lips, the way that would make him beg for more.

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Finally, it was over. Our bodies tangled together under the sheets, the way it always had been back in New York, before Mark, before everything fell apart. I smiled at the memory, biting at my lower lip to prevent myself from crying out. Now I know how much it hurts to choose between two that you love, but my marriage is far beyond repair. We stopped communicating years ago and things will never be the same again. I'm tired of fighting for us, I'm tired of being the only one trying so hard, and as much as I hate to, I'm ending this. I wish things would be different, that there will be many more nights like this with my husband. I feel a trickle of tear roll down my cheek as I smiled again, painfully, at the memory of tonight. I reached out, running my fingers through his hair. In his sleep, he smiled. Oh god, he look so peaceful, so much like the man I married 12 years ago. But the man have changed, and he will never be back. Tonight is the night things will end. His arm was drapped around my waist loosely. I pulled my body closer, burying my head into his chest, feeling the familiar warmth from his body as I traced my fingers around his muscles. Tonight, I stay awake, remembering the feel of his skin on mine, remembering the feel of his lips when they touch mine, remembering his features exactly the place it was, remembering how he held me in his arms, how he look into my eyes with the intensity of desire and tell me that I'm beautiful. Remembering how it was like years ago, when we were in love, when things were going on well. I would smile at the memories, I will not cry because it's the end, I would smile because it's a new beginning. And I stay awake tonight to watch him sleep, because I know, there will no longer be nights like tonight, ever again.

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**A/N :** Hate me, people. I'm sad now. I just broke my favourite couple up. But hey, if this fic is going to be Addie/Mere slash, it's going to stay Addie/Mere slash. Still, I'm sad. 


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N :** Thank you for all your reviews! Yea, I hate it that AdDek has to part but it's just in this fic only, you know. It's an Addie/Mere slash so I guess I'll have to keep it that way till the end, eh? Anyway, here's the last chapter of this story. It's actually the longest out of all 15 chapters. Enjoy!

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Nights ago, it was what Addison would like to call "One last sex" with her husband. Her husband by law, by name, but by emotion she wasn't so sure anymore. Actually, no, she was sure. She should be sure the very night she made it happen for one last time. But sometimes, she couldn't help but look back and miss the times when they were happy and want things to go back the way it was. _"But it's different now. There's no way."_ she always told herself. Now the only thing she needs to figure out is how to break it to him. She could file a divorce, again, but on what account?

And on the day of the very night, there was something else. Ellis Grey had passed away, unfortunately, and somehow, the rest of Bailey's interns learnt about the secret affair between Addison and Meredith. That night, Addison should have offered to stay with Meredith, to comfort her, but instead, she felt that there was something she needed to do and it couldn't wait.

"Look after her for me, Stevens." Addison had said. Izzie nodded as Meredith walked into the house after Addison dropped her off, almost zombie-like.  
"I'm her friend too, Dr. Shepherd, I will." Izzie had promised. Addison nodded with a smile, starting to walk back to her car when she turned her head just in time before the door closes.  
"Thanks, Izzie. And..it's Dr. Montgomery... soon." she corrected before heading off, leaving Izzie standing by the door with her mouth gaping.

The day after, Derek and Addison woke up in each other's arms. Addison, who wanted to stay awake to watch her soon-to-be ex-husband sleep, had dozed off with her head resting against his chest.

"Good morning." Derek had greeted her with a smile, planting a kiss on the top of her forehead. She didn't want it to end so soon, she wanted more. Instead of letting him go, she pulled him back, having another intimate moment before the time constrain force the both of them to work. Over breakfast, he had asked about the day before, about what happened to Meredith.

"Ellis is gone." Addison had said softly, like it hurt her to say it. Derek had tried to control his reaction, trying not to be too curious or too indifferent about it.

"Is she alright?" he had asked, and Addison nodded in response. There was a quiet, awkward moment between them over the breakfast table. Then, finally, he asked. "What's going on between you and Meredith?" Addison froze at the question. What was she going to say? That she was cheating on him with his ex-girlfriend the day after she gave him great sex? Instead, she said, "Well, after so many months of working together, we kinda became friends."

"Kinda became friends?" he echoed her statement, turning it into a question.  
"Yea." she said, not giving anything more, and he nodded, pretending to be satisfied with the answer. His wife and his ex-girlfriend have became friends, accepted each other's existance on the planet and actually like each other as human beings. But as for him, he was still conflicted over his final choice of it being his wife. Derek realised he didn't want to be alone, and after Meredith had told him she found someone else, he promised to himself that he would work on his marriage for real. However, he had not been acting like what he had promised to himself. Suddenly, he realise that there were alot of new things about his wife that he wasn't aware of. Like her being friends with Meredith, like he don't know the new friend of Addison whom she had been hanging out with. Why? Because he never asked, they never talk anymore. Words exchanged between them were normally work-related, they don't get into each other's personal space anymore. And then there was the occasional sex, just like how things were back in New York. Sometimes, Derek noticed it, that things were back to where it was before he found her and Mark together. But he told himself he can be allowed more time, because Mark isn't here with them, because the friend Addison has been hanging out with is a female, because there's no one possible from the hospital that she can screw around with. They were safe here, their marriage in Seattle was safer than it was back in New York. At least here, Derek can take all the time he wants without worrying that Addison would do what she had done before--running into another's arms.

A few days later, the funeral of Ellis Grey has been arranged, almost everyone from the hospital attended. Everyone that knew Meredith or Ellis, which included Addison and Derek Shepherd. Richard almost had a heart attack when the news reached him, it took him more than just awhile to get over it. "Ellis isa dear, oldfriend to me." He had said over the stand, being one of the people that had known Ellis personally for a long while. During Meredith's speech, she had been surprisingly, calm and collected.

"I had not known my mother all that well." she had said. "I believe some of you who are here would know her better than I actually do." her words brought a hint of bitterness. "Hours spent by the hospital were actually longer than those she spent with me. I know she's there, and she's just there, but never really there at all." At that sentence, she paused, taking in a few slow, deep breathes, her gaze fickering to the ground. Then, she looked up to the expecting audience again, forcing a smile on her face. "But she's my mother afterall. And I love her, I do." she said, almost like a confirmation to herself than anything else. "Her death is sudden to all of us. My mother; she had been sick for a long time. But she made me promise not to tell anyone about it. You know, the great Ellis Grey, never wants anyone to know her weaknesses." she said, trying to lighten up the tension in the room. It got a few laughs. "But maybe it's a good thing that she's gone now." she continued. "I'd like to think she has moved on to a better place, a place without sufferings. Still, I wish I had a chance to get to know her better."

Everyone wore black and white that day. Derek was dressed in a black suit without a tie, his hair combed back neatly. He gave Meredith a hug and a soft peck on the top of her forehead in condolence. Addison was too, in black. She was wearing a tank-top dress, a white ribbon below her bust. Her red hair was tied up in an elegant french twist. After she laid the white flower gently down onto the coffin, she pulled Meredith into an embrace, her hands stroking Meredith's blonde hair down in comfort. Out of all those who are looking, only five knew what was really going on between the two. Others that looked on just assumed that the wife and the ex-girlfriend had somehow, became friends, or that the wife was just being a big person to offer her condolences up to a person who has just lost a loved one.

Throughout the ceremony, the only contact between the Shepherds were as close as their thighs touching side by side, and after that, the both of them walked around with a sympathetic smile on their faces as they interact with some of their old friends who were too, taught under Ellis and some, Richard. The whole time, when they didn't need to exchange handshakes in introducing themselves, Derek had his hands placed around his wife's waist. A habit was just what it was. The common responses that they received varies. Ranging from "Oh, the Shepherds! I've heard alot about the both of you." to "I'm surprise you can find time for each other being world class surgeons. Must be alot of work." to "When are you two planning to come back to New York?"

Sometimes, their answers came out in sync and people would laugh and say things like "Oh, the both of you are just two peas in a pod." or "There's no question to why you both got married", or even "You're a match made in heaven." At that, Addison and Derek would just smile, laugh it off, share a look and give each other a peck on the lips. When they do that, responses they get became "Aww, aren't they cute together?". And soon, their responses became one sided. Either Derek would give Addison a peck on her cheek and go "That's my wife." or Addison would put an arm around Derek's waist and smile, saying things like "We get that alot." But in reality, the both of them were putting up a show, plastering a smile on their faces as they walk around, engaging in small talks together. Finally, catching sight of someone familiar, Addison excused herself from the group and her husband, grabbing a glass of martini as she approached the woman.

"Are you ok?" Miranda Bailey asked as Addison approached her. Addison nodded, taking a huge gulp from the drink in her hands. Miranda frowned at that action, excusing herself from her husband, leading the attending away.  
"You don't have an alcoholic problem, do you?" Addison shook her head. She didn't know what to say, she just want to get away from being with Derek. Smiling all day and walking around with her husband's hand around her waist was a pretence, and she was tired after pretending for such a long time. Miranda took a glance towards Derek who was still interacting professionally around with the guests. It was hard not to, considering the both of them were world famous surgeons. They stopped by a table, leaning against it. Addison's eyes were distant, not even turning for a brief eye contact with the resident.

"You haven't told him, have you." It was more like a statement that a question, and Addison nodded to clarify. She sighed, turning to Miranda for the first time.  
"What do I tell him? How am I suppose to tell him?" she asked. Miranda shrugged and grabbed a glass of champange.  
"I can't help you there, Addison."

It went on for awhile before everyone started to leave. Derek had gotten a chance to speak to Meredith privately, but Addison had chose to keep her distance, just in case. Before the Shepherds reach their car, Addison stopped. "I left something in the house." she lied, then instructed her husband to wait for her in the car while she return to get it.

In the house, the interns were helping to clean up the mess, all of them looked up when the door swung open. Addison stepped in, her gaze locking with Meredith's. It took awhile for the rest of them to exit the living room.

"Hey." Addison had greeted, unsure of whether she should smile or maintain a neutral expression. It was Meredith who smiled first.  
"Hi." she said. Then there was an awkward silence.  
"Are you ok? I.. I'm sorry I couldn't"  
"No." Meredith cut her off, laying down the plates gingerly on the table and headed towards Addison. "I understand." she promised. "And I'm ok. Really."  
At that, Addison smiled, also relieved at the absence of alcoholic stench around Meredith. Addison reached down, taking Meredith by her hands for a moment, unsure of what to say. So instead, she leaned foward, giving the blonde a soft kiss on her lips. Meredith's lips parted, kissing back for a brief moment before they pulled away. Addison looked up, blushing as she saw Alex standing by the doorway of the kitchen. Before she could say anything, Alex spoke up.

"It's alright. Go. We'll take care of her." he promised. Addison gave one last lingering look at Meredith before leaving the house, but not before thanking Alex for his promise.

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It had been a few days after Ellis Grey's funeral. The interns sat by their usual table, discussing their morning assignments as usual.

"So, how long has it been?" George blurted out. That day, Callie's lunch break was different from that of George's. At that question, everyone turned to him, Cristina with disbelief, Alex with a frown and Izzie with a warning glare. Then Meredith smiled after the short period of awkward silence with George mumbling an apology.

"No, it's ok." she said. "A little more than six months." she admitted, and at that, Izzie's mouth dropped open in a mixture of shock and surprised.  
"She's the mysterious hot date!" she figured out.  
"Shh!" Meredith hissed. "Not so loud!"  
"Seriously?" Cristina mused, munching onto her salad. "How? _Why?_"  
Meredith shrugged, taking another bite of her sandwich. "It just...happened."

Alex let out a snort. "And who initiated it?" he asked bluntly. And Meredith's response had got all of them staring at her with disbelief.

"Me."

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It was a little over a week after the funeral. Addison and Meredith had a day off each, but was unaware of each other's schedule. Miranda Bailey had decided to stop assigning Meredith to Addison for awhile, allowing the both of them to clear their minds on different issues. Addsion lay in bed on a Saturday evening, a book in her hands as she read it through her maroon framed glasses that sat on her nose. Then, her cellphone rang. Without looking at it, she picked it up.

"Montgomery-Shepherd." she answered.  
"Hi." the familiar voice sounded over the receiver. At the voice, Addison's attention was taken away from the book.  
"Meredith!" she called out, surprised.  
"Busy?"  
"No.. no. I had a day off." she said. Meredith laughed over the phone.  
"Funny. Me too."

Then there was silence. The both of them haven't spoken much over a week and it was as though exchanging of words now was awkward.

"I missed you." Meredith said softly. Addison placed a bookmark on the page and left the book by the bedstand. She took off her glasses with a sigh, and surprising Meredith, she said, "Me too."

Then, there was silence again.

"What happened to us?" Meredith laughed, trying to lighten the tension that was starting to build up. On the other side of the phone, Addison smiled.  
"Yea, well. I don't know." she said. Meredith drew in a deep breathe and let it out loudly.

"So, what have you been doing all day?" she asked, twirling a strand of her dirty blonde hair as she sat on her couch, knees brought up to her chest.  
"I've walked Doc, rearranged my shoes, vaccumed the house, watched the tv and well, was reading a book before you called."

Meredith chuckled. "And I've cleaned out my closet, folded every piece of laundry, made everyone's bed, cleaned up the house, rearranged the cabinets..." Addison laughed, cutting the intern off.

"God Meredith, you're boring." she said.  
"I'm bored." Meredith corrected her. "And I'm still bored. You're not much better either." she teased.

Addison glance up at the clock sitting on the bedstand. "You wanna come over?" she offered. "Derek's staying over at the hospital tonight, he wouldn't be home at all. We could watch a movie, have popcorn and I don't know, catch up."

Meredith thought for a second. "Where's your house?" she asked. "I've never been there before." At that, Addison laughed.

"It's still where it is. Except that when you reach, you'll be seeing an actual house instead of a trashy trailer."

"Alright, I'll be there in twenty minutes. You need me to bring anything?" she asked, already standing up from her couch, ready to go over.

"Nope." Addison said. "I've got everything here."

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True enough, the bell to the Shepherds' house rang after twenty minutes. Addison bounced down the stairs wearing a oversized white tshirt and a pair of Derek's boxers, her glasses still resting on her nose. She had gone back to reading after the phone call with Meredith ended. She opened the door, greeted by a grinning blonde. She smiled, stepping aside to let her in.

"Cute." Meredith said, checking her up and down. "Glasses." she pointed out. At that, Addison took it off.

"Oh shut up." she said, causing the blonde to chuckle.

Meredith stood on the spot, taking a long moment to check the house out. Then Addison slipped her arm around Meredith's, dragging her towards the living room. "C'mon, I'll show you around first." The tour started from the living room, to the kitchen, then to the dining room. Meredith traced her fingers over several furnitures as they passed, staring with awe at the luxurious living standards of the Shepherds. Then, they headed towards the stairs.

"We have three bedrooms." she explained with a light laugh. "We turned one into a room where we can do our work in, another one into a guest room and leaving the largest one to be our bedroom." she said, leading the way to the guest room first.

Not long after, the both of them ended up in the bedroom, Meredith took a step inside, her eyes wandering around the entire room. "It doesn't take an idiot to know you definitely decorated the whole house." she commented, settling down at the edge of the bed. Addison smiled, closing the door casually behind her.

"Well, thanks." she said, heading towards the rack of movies as Meredith checked the room out. "Any movies in mind?" she asked. Meredith shook her head. "I'd prefer humour or a chick flick." she suggested. Addison nodded and drew out "Mean Girls", waving it in the air. Meredith laughed at the choice.

"Seriously?"  
"Yea, why not?" Addison frowned.

Receiving a shrug for a response, Addison headed towards the DVD player, ready to insert the disc when a pair of skinny arms wrapped around her waist. She dropped it, giving a yelped of surprise.

But instead of hearing playful laughter that she had expected, Meredith spun her around, her eyes gazing up into Addison's with a smile. Addison looked down to the arms that were still locked around her waist with confusion, but when she looked back to Meredith, expecting an answer, all she got was a smile. Slowly, but almost suddenly, the blonde reached up, her hands sliding underneath her oversized shirt and up her back, pushing her forward for a kiss. Their lips locked, heat seared through Addison's body as she caved in, her lips parting to kiss the blonde back. Instead of feeling awkward with the hand on her bare back, she felt a strong desire. She dropped the disc cover to the carpetted floor, her hands running through Meredith's hair as she pressed on, willing the kiss to go on. Then, it slowed down, their lips parting, foreheads touching gently as their arms hung loosely around each other.

"I really missed you." Meredith whispered. At that, Addison smiled, tucking one side of her hair behind her ear. "I missed you too." she said, then leaned forward for a kiss softer and slower, with more passion than lust. Their lips parted, tongues roaming around each other's mouth as their bodies moved, ending up with one of their bodies pressed up against the wall. Their positions flipped, and in the midst of the kissing, Addison reached to the switch and pushed, switching the lights off. She pulled away, the both of them catching their breathe. She felt Meredith's hands moving behind her back, her fingers carassing her skin softly.

"Oh, Meredith." she called out, leaning forward for another kiss, her fingers working subconsciously to pry off the jacket on the thin blonde's shoulders, then proceeded to grope under her long sleeved sweater. They moved away from the wall, stumbling over each other's feet and now slumbed down onto the bed. They stopped again, admiring each other's beauty in their own way. Addison brushed a lock of blonde out of Meredith's face, mesmerized by the beauty as the moonlight shone into the room, dancing shadows casted on her face. She licked her lips. Meredith looked up to the attending, her hands still under the shirt, her eyes staring into Addison's. For a second, in the dark, she thought she saw them twinkle. _Like the stars._ she thought. Then slowly, her fingers grip around the hem of Addison's shirt as she pulled it up, uncertain at first. She remembered the first time that she had done it, Addison pushed away and tug her shirt down. But this time, the red head allowed it to go on, her own hands sliding under Meredith's shirt, sliding down her stomach as they headed straight to the button of her jeans. In a smooth motion, Meredith pulled the shirt over Addison's head as she wriggled out of her pants.

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Derek Shepherd pulled over into the driveway of his house, killing the engine before heading straight to the front door, like he would do every day after work. He had told Addison that he was to stay in the hospital for the night but instead, he came home. There was nothing much there left for him to do, and as much as he loved it at the hospital, the beds there are never as comfortable as his own back at home. He walked past the dog, leaning down to give a ruffle to his head as he settled the keys down on the kitchen counter. Gulping down a cup of water, Derek hung his coat on the hanger and headed up stairs, preparing to give his wife a surprise.

He walked up the stairs, his mind wondering on the things his wife could be doing. Then, a giggle could be heard. He froze at the sound, blinking in confusion. It sounded familiar, but it definitely did not belong to Addison. He waited, hoping to hear more in hope to clear his confusion but there was silence again. He proceeded up the stairs, heading straight towards his bed room.

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Their lips locked, hands roaming around each other's bodies under the sheets. Addison's head laid on the soft, fluffy cushion as Meredith's body hovered above her, a smile spread across the blonde intern's lips. They were so caught up in their own action that they didn't even hear it coming. They did not hear the engine of the car that pulled into the drive way, nor did they hear the jingle of keys before it was slotted into the lock of the front door. Maybe those were sounds so familiar to Addison that it did not even register to her that her husband was home. In her mind, it was filled with the enjoyment of her girlfriend's company, and on the fact that her husband wouldn't be home for the night.

The door to the room swung open with Derek standing in the doorway, confused by what he was looking at in front of him. With the both of them under the sheets, it took him a moment to realise what he was staring at. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but the people underneath the sheets parted, one rolling off the other as one of them emerged, a look of shock and surprised crossed her face.

"Derek." she breathed out, brushing her messy red hair out of her face, both staring at each other, speechless. And like the night he had walked in on his wife with Mark, Derek walked out of the room without a word. Addison grabbed her shirt off the floor and rushed out, catching up with her husband as he descended down the stairs. "Derek." she called out again, but unsure of what else to say. This time, instead of just packing and go, Derek turned around to face her as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Again!" he shouted, his voice rang through the large house. "Why, Addison. Why?" Addison stared down at him, licking her lips as she tried to come up with an explanation. Derek hasn't got to see the other person that was under the sheets, and Addison wasn't planning on telling him.

"You said you were trying." she said, and that was all she could manage. Derek shook his head, spinning around and started towards the living room. It was deja vu all over again for the both of them.

In the bedroom, when Meredith was sure that the both of them had left, she slided out from the sheets and wrapped it around her, following the couple, but stayed hidden. She wasn't intending to leave, she wanted to know what Addison would do because this is the very moment when the older woman would be force to make a choice. She stood at the top of the stairway, her body hidden safely from the both of them as she listened to the exchange.

"Der--"  
"I was trying, Addie. I have been trying!" he cut her off. At that, Addison gritted her teeth and shook her head.  
"Not enough, Derek. It wasn't enough." she said, her volume not matching his.  
"Not enough? You slept with Mark, Addie. The fact that I took you back was more than enough for you!" he spat out.  
"Then why?" Addison asked, her voice now matching the anger in her husband's. "Why did you come back to me? Why did you choose me when all you want is for me to be your bedwarmer? We don't even talk anymore, Derek. You said you were going to try, but in your mind, you were still thinking about Meredith!" she argued. Tears were brimming up in her eyes, of anger and of hurt. She brushed them away angrily, looking away from her husband. If he wanted to pack up and leave again, Addison wasn't going to track him down and try to win him back a second time.  
"And you dare tell me you weren't thinking about Mark, at all?" he retorted. "And that night, what was that night all about? The scented candles, the skimpy red outfit, the everything?" he gritted his teeth, feeling his own tears threatening to come. Addison looked away, unable to answer the question.  
"You were planning all this, haven't you?" Derek asked, his voice tight with anger. "You decided that it was going to be the night where you will have it all with me for one last time, and then--" he drew in a deep breathe. "You took advantage of me!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry." Addison apologised softly, feeling the tears stream down her face. Derek shove a hand roughly through his hair. It was Mark the first time, and this time, he didn't get to see the person. He needed to know.

"Who is that?" he demanded, pointing a finger up towards their bedroom. "Who is that in there? Your new friend that you lied about being a female?"

Addison shook her head, wiping the tears away from her face. She couldn't tell him, she couldn't bring herself to. But she didn't need to. From the stairways, Meredith took a step out, heading down with only the sheets around her body. She brushed her blonde hair away from her face as she looked down at Derek, standing a small distance behind Addison.

Derek's mouth fell open when he saw the person that emerged out from behind the shadows. His arm fell limply beside his body as he looked from Meredith and Addison with disbelief. From Derek's reaction, Addison knew Meredith had shown herself, made their affair known wordlessly.

"Why?" Derek managed, but it was barely audible. Addison turned to face him, her voice firm this time.

"I'm sorry Derek, this is our choice."

* * *

**A/N :** So I was thinking of writing an epilogue for this, maybe a sequel after that. Of course, only if you people want to read it. LOL. So yes, this is the end of the story "Our Choice" (with an epilogue in consideration). I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

- Jess


	16. Epilogue

**A/N :** Sooo..here's an epilogue to have sort of a closure. Sorry it took so much longer. (I was engaged in writing squees. Not that it's an excuse but squees are happier and this is sadder, if you know what I mean.) And I'm glad you guys like it! Thank you for your wonderful reviews. So here it is, enjoy!

* * *

Their gaze locked for a longer moment, firmness in her eyes and hurt and disbelief in his. Finally, he turned, grabbing his coat on his way out and slammed the door behind him. The sound echoed through the quietness of the house, and she gave way, sinking down to the step she was standing on and buried her head in her hands. And surprising herself, no tears came. The blonde took a few steps down and joined her on the step, wrapping an arm around her body as Addison leaned against her shoulder, breathing deeply to calm herself down. A part of her still wonder why she had not feel as devastated as that night he hadcaught her with Mark. Silence filled the house, silence with exception of the sound of their breathing. Finally, she spoke.

"Are you ok?" Meredith asked, and without looking up, Addison nodded. She drew in another deep breathe and pulled away, looking into the blonde's eyes. Her lips curled up slowly with a weak smile.

"It's over." she said, almost like a confirmation. And although uncertain, Meredith returned a smile of her own, pulling the woman close for a hug.

"It's over." she whispered into the red hair.

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He felt his breathe going faster, shallower, he felt the hurt this time, the pain, stronger than before. _Why?_ he kept asking himself. _What have I done to deserve this?_

He slammed the car door shut and ignited the engine, pulling out of the driveway and into the dark streets, not even bothering to take one last look at the house that he built. The house that _they_ built. He thought he had time, he thought he had everything, having Meredith still as a friend even though she made it known to him that she had moved on, and Addison, having the wife of 12 years by his side. What happened tonight was the least expected. Maybe, maybe if Addison had cheated on him with some other random guy, it would be better. It would hurt, nevertheless, but perhaps it wouldn't make him feel the way he's feeling now.

Derek kept his foot on the pedal as his car raced forward, his eyes fixed on the long stretch of empty road. From the passanger seat, his pager beeped, mixing with the sound of the roaring engine. His gaze fickered to it for a moment, but ignored it. He can't deal with his patients now, he can't even divert his emotions to his passion for his work. "No." he shook his head, his voice came out soft at first. "No, no, no... NO!" he shouted, voice ascending with each word. He slammed a fist down on the steering wheel angrily and cursed under his breathe. The wind whipped into his face, blowing the tears that threaten to fall dry, and finally, he turned, pulling over near a lake. He stared up ahead, watching the moonlight dance on the clear water. _Oh Addison._ he thought. Quiet nights had often cause his mind to wander back to the memory of his wife, even when he was in Seattle, after she cheated. He would think back on the times they had together, the happy times. And those times will then lead back to the memory of the night he walked in on her with Mark Sloan. But that was then. Now, the final memory that struck his mind was the vision of Meredith walking out from the shadows, wrapped around only in sheets.

His lower lips quivered, and he swallowed, pushing back the tears. But it was of no avail, and finally he gave in, his forehead connecting with the top of the steering wheel and he started to cry.

Derek Shepherd is a man, he doesn't cry. Man don't do crying. He didn't cry when he walked in on Mark and Addison, he didn't cry when he had to let go of Meredith. He almost did, but it wasn't like how he was crying today. He definitely didn't cry when Meredith told him that she had moved on. But tonight, it was different. Derek Shepherd don't screw up, Derek Shepherd shouldn't screw up at all. His career has been promising, his brains and his knowledge of brains flew him high up to the list, making him one of the world class surgeons. He makes big money, he's married to a fabulous woman for 12 years, he's happy. He _was_ happy. Back in school he wouldn't allow himself to screw up, but how did he manage to screw up so bad now?

He slammed a fist into the steering wheel again, drawing in a breathe in hope to stop the tears from flowing. But it didn't work. He was pissed. Pissed at the fact that he couldn't stop crying, at the fact that he screwed up worse than he thought he ever would. It shouldn't be his fault. Addison cheated on him--twice. He should be glad that he caught her the second time, that he can cut her away from his life. But he isn't. His pager beeped again. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Derek fumbled around the passanger seat in the dark and pulled out the black device. It was his patient. The results for his MRI are out, and he needs to be there to look through it. He knows that with his work, nothing can wait, everything are a matter of life and death. But right now, he don't want to care.

After the third page, his cellphone rang. He fished it out from his pocket and glared at it, the light flickering on and off as the name popped up on the screen. It wasn't Addison. He drew in a deep breathe and answered it.

"Where the hell are you, Derek?" Richard's voice demanded from the other line. "We've paged you _three_ times! You better have a good excuse for not being here by now." he yelled. With the phone still pressed against his ear, Derek let out a breathe.

"I'm leaving Seattle, Richard." he croaked out. Yes, he's leaving Seattle, he's running away again. But he couldn't run to anywhere else, except to go back to New York, get his position back and then continue to bury himself with his work, like he always did.

"This is no time to joke, Derek. We need you at the hospital now." he instructed, but Derek shook his head, to no one in particular.

"I..I can't. I'm sorry." he pleaded, praying that his voice wouldn't give away anything. But Richard had sensed that something was wrong. Knowing Derek for more than 11 years had gained him the ability to tell if something was wrong with just his voice. Knowing that there was no way to have his best neurosurgeon down to the hospital for work, he sighed.

"Meet me in my office, Derek. I'll get someone to cover for you."

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Morning came and Addison Shepherd walked into the hospital. Maybe it was her guilty conscious when she felt weird glances directed towards her. She cleared her throat, ignoring them as she headed straight to the elevator. Meredith and herself have decided to enter the hospital separately, pretending that nothing had happened. _Maybe it's because I didn't walk in with Derek today._ she told herself.

Reaching the level of her locker room, she was met with the chief of surgery, his arms folded in front of his chest when she looked up as the elevator door slided open. It was like he had been expecting her.

"To my office, now." he demanded. Addison swallowed, but followed obediently. When they entered the office, Richard shut the door behind them and sat down firmly on his chair, and doing what she usually does, Addison sat down opposite him, placing her suitcase neatly down beside the chair and looked up at him. His eyes were firm, disappointment reflecting off from them. And then she understood. Somehow, Richard knew. But before she could say anything, he spoke.

"What the hell were you thinking, Addison?" he asked, his voice hushed as he leaned forward. Things like that didn't need to be heard by passerbys. Addison looked away, unable to answer the question. In any way she were to answer it, it wouldn't be enough for Richard. They were his favourite students, they were the golden couple in his eyes. Even after he knew that Addison had cheated and Derek had an affair with Ellis Grey's daughter, he had still encouraged them to be back together. "Soulmates." That was what he believed they were. But apparently, he was wrong.

When receiving nothing in response, Richard continued. "He took you back, Addie. Even after you slept with his best friend, and you have to hurt him again? How many times, Addison?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to." she said softly.  
"But you did." he insisted. "And I want to know why."

Finally, Addison met his gaze, his demanding gaze. She knew he wasn't going to back down until she gives an answer. "It's over. Derek and I, our marriage is over." she started. "He was indifferent, and I tried. He said he was trying, but sometimes, it's not enough."  
"Is it for attention this time? It wasn't enough that you had it with his best friend and now you have to do it with his ex-girlfriend?"  
"It's over, Richard." she reminded him firmly. "I'm not going to chase him down this time." But before Richard could ask more, the door to his office swung open.

An awkward blonde stood by the doorway as the both of them looked up towards her.

"Uhh.. I'm sorry. I'll come back later." she apologised, sliding back out.

"No, Meredith. Stay." Richard said, but it wasn't a warm invitation. It was an order. Quietly, she slipped in, closing the door behind her.

And she stood there, uncomfortably as her gaze was down on the floor.

"Take a seat." Richard said casually, and obediently, Meredith headed to the couch and settled down on the edge of it. She didn't want to get too comfortable. The situation in his office now is definitely not going to be comfortable. Normally, she would be able to look into the eyes of the Chief of Surgery, but today, it was impossible for her.

Richard's eyes shift steadily to and fro of the two women, folding his arms back in front of his chest. Addison turned to Meredith, their eyes met briefly before the contact broke again.

"Why? How?" he asked again, his gaze still shifting between both women. And then, he sighed. "Tell me everything."

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After an awkward moment of explaining the whole situation to Richard, who was like a father to both Addison and Derek, they left the office. But there was something else. Richard had understood, he had now accepted the fact that Addison and Derek are no longer together. But deep down inside, he couldn't help but hope that this is only yet another set back in their relationship, that somehow, some day down the road, the both of them are going to get together again.

Addison was still his favourite student, she was still his superstar. But as for Derek, he had to let him go unwillingly. Richard understood the pain of loosing a love one, and with his history with Ellis Grey, he should understand it more than anyone else. And after today, he wondered if he should be glad that Adele is stronger than Addison is, that she held on and she was loyal to him no matter what happens, even when he is indifferent. But then, Adele always had a way to make people listen, make them notice, make them see. Perhaps that's how their marriage is still standing till this day.

"Where is he?" Addison had asked, but Richard shook his head.  
"You don't get to know. Not yet." he told her. As much as he wanted the couple to be a couple again, it was now his job to keep them as far apart as possible. Instead of pushing, Addison nodded.  
"I understand." she had said. "I'll have his things sent down to your office by tomorrow"  
"It'll get back to him." he had promised.

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Derek Shepherd had taken the first flight out of Seattle and back to New York. A phone call to the chief of surgery at the hospital he was working at settles everything for him. When asked about Addison, Derek debated on whether to tell the truth, but covered it up by saying that it was his decision to return, and her decision to stay in Seattle. He got his job back, and from the moment he stepped into the hospital of New York, Derek Shepherd is the Head of Neurosurgery.

His parents doesn't know, her parent's doesn't know either. None of them needs to know, he had decided. It was too painful to talk about.

Derek had returned to the brownstone that he and Addison once lived in. He wanted to get rid of it, build something else of his own, somewhere else, but then decided against it. Although it was painful for him to return to the same house he shared with a wife for 11 years each day, he knew he had to learn to face reality, and that is the only way he was going to move on.

Two days later, boxes arrived at his doorstep. They were his belongings from Seattle, every single one of it. He sighed, looking around the house for a moment before deciding that he should do the same--ship Addison's belongings over to Seattle, return them to her. He laughed at the irony. He was the one who had learnt to love Seattle, a place where he found a new side to himself. And Addison was the city chick, never was the kind to love a place like Seattle. And now, Derek is back in New York, and Addison is staying in Seattle. But he understood her position, for he had been there before. It was Meredith Grey. Somehow, the existance of Meredith Grey in their lives have caused them to fall in love with Seattle, like how they each had fallen for her.

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Alex Karev poked at a french fry and delivered it into his mouth. He looked up to Izzie briefly, then took a swig from his coke.

"I'm going to give you a way out." he said. Isobel Stevens looked up to him with a frown.  
"Excuse me?" she asked.  
"I'm going to give you a way out. That way you wouldn't need to risk witnessing the sex action between Meredith and Addison Shepherd." he said, chewing on the salad. Raising an eyebrow at Alex, she shook her head and bit on a cracker.

"You know that now the both of them are together, now that the whole hospital knows and that McDreamy is back in New York, we will probably see them together more often in the public, right?" he reminded her. Then a laughter interupted their conversation. Izzie turned to it, greeted by the sight of Meredith and Addison at a table not far away from them, having lunch together.

"Oh, definitely." she laughed.

Then when she turned back to face her boyfriend, she found him staring intensely at her.

"What?" she asked, reaching into the bag for another chip.

"Move in with me." he blurted out, his gaze steady as he searched her eyes. Izzie's jaw dropped open slightly as she stared at him, speechless.

After a few moments, she regain her composure and blinked.

"Ahh.. yes, sure. I mean, of course! Ok!" she said, obviously surprised by the sudden invitation. And Alex smiled, leaning in to give her a peck on her cheek.

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Two days later, the boxes arrived, sitting at the doorstep of Addison Shepherd's house. A brown envelope sat on top of them. She picked it up with a frown, pulling out only to recognise them as the divorce papers she had handed Derek a year ago. As though knowing what it meant, she unlocked the door to her house as she flipped the papers to where the signatures were required. And she saw it. It still surprised her though, at the moment, that she felt a pang of sadness, guilt, perhaps, when she saw his signature scribbled on the line. Then finally, pulling a pen out, she signed her name on the bottom. Addison stared at it for a moment, biting her bottom lip. _There's no turning back now, Addie._ she told herself.

She slot the papers back into the envelope, reminding herself mentally to send it back the first thing tomorrow. From that moment on, she's no longer Addison Shepherd, but Addison Montgomery. _Addison Montgomery._ she read the name in her mind with a laugh. It's been more than a decade since she had called herself that, or since anyone had called her that. She looked through the opened front door to the stack of boxes with a smile. Yes, a smile. And leaving her bags and coat on the couch, the now Addison Montgomery made her way out and shifted the boxes into the house. Tomorrow, she will start unpacking them.

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It was morning, and as usual, she needed to walk Doc. The bed felt unusually empty without her husband's body on it. Each morning she woke up, Addison was hit by the reality that Derek is no longer with her, that they are no longer married. And now, she's living in an enormous house alone--with a dog that once belonged to Meredith. She sighed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes then took a glance to the clock on the bedside table. Stiffening a yawn, she threw the covers off her body and begin her daily routine, starting by walking the excited bundle of fur that was yelping by the bed.

She returned to the house a little after 7 in the morning, dropping the keys by the kitchen counter and for the first time, letting the dog in to run wild in the house after the walk. She took a glance at the empty coffee pot with a sigh. _You should be used to it by now._ she told herself. It was the fifth day she had spent without Derek in the house, without anyone in the house. No smell of breakfast food in the house when she return from morning walks, no coffee made in the pot. Suddenly, she wondered how Derek is doing. Even though she was no longer his wife, the care and concern she had given him had not fade away. Addison wasn't so sure if it was going to fade away at all.

_It's time._ she told herself, the voice in her head almost cheerful that it scared her, as she eyed the unpack boxes sitting in the house. With a sigh, she sat down by the couch with a penknife and started unpacking.

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The alarm clock shrieked through the apartment, shocking Derek out of his sleep as he sat up straight on the bed, his eyes shifting in the dimmed room. It was five in the morning, and just as he was about to slap the alarm shut and go back to sleep, the surroundings of his room reminded him that he was back in New York. It was his first day back at work, and he needed to get there early to catch up on the possible changes that has been made within the year that he had left.

Slowly, the reality start to come back to him. The large bed he sat on felt empty without the warmth of her body, without the prescence of her body. He wonder if he was ever going to get used to waking up to an empty bed. When he was in Seattle, he was running away from his problems, and was in fact, glad to find himself on an empty bed each time he woke up alone in a trailer. But now, the past memories was staring straight at him, and the only way to let go and move on is to accept that things had came to an end.

He stood up groggily, running a hand through his hair as he headed straight to his wardrobe. It was still in the place where he left it, and to his surprise, he could still remember the position of things in his house with his eyes close. The only difference now is that half the house seems empty without Addison's things. The large shoerack now looks pathetic with his small collection of shoes, the wardrobe beside him was now empty after he had packed her clothes and shipped it off to Seattle. He could still remember the day he had went through her stuff, how he held the clothes to him as a memory, how he took in the whiff of her scent on each piece of clothing before he folded it and place it into the box, how he tried not to wet her items with the tears rolling down his cheek. But it was over, and he has to admit it. And on the day, for awhile, he debated on whether to keep something of her to himself, as a memory. Would it hurt too much? He had wondered. But in the end, he did. So now in the empty wardrobe next to his, there sat a white sundress that he loved her in it, the red nightgown that she wore that always turned him on, the deep purple silk gown that she loved wearing to events, even a set of her casual clothings--a pair of faded jeans and a green, off-shoulder blouse. All of those, with a couple of photographs, were locked away in the wardrobe that once belonged to Addison. It hurt him to look at them now, but he know that one day, he would like to have a chance to take them out, look at them and smile at the memories.

He pulled out a blue, long-sleeve shirt and black pants, the type of clothes that he almost never wore while in Seattle, and headed to the bathroom. It was his first day of work back in New York.

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The first thing on Addison's mind when she walked into the hospital was to look for Meredith Grey. And thankfully, either the resident had assigned, or the intern had volunteered, Meredith Grey was to assist her today. Either way, it was going to be convenient for Addison to speak to Meredith.

She pulled on the labcoat, sighing at the sight of Derek's empty locker beside her. _He's gone now. Let him go._ she told herself. She had started to let him go ever since the relationship between Meredith and herself grew, but decades of relationship was not easy to forget. She smiled through the pained memory of what she had shared with Derek, brushing her fingers longingly at the side of his locker. _It's time to start over, Addison._

From the corner, the blonde intern walked briskly towards the attending, both turning to each other with a smile. The day went on like usual, and surprisingly, the both felt as ease. No need to sneak around, no need to have secret meeting places, definitely no need to come up with excuses to meet each other for right now, the entire hospital knows. Addison Shepherd, now Addison Montgomery, had cheated on her husband once again, and is now having a relationship with the intern who once dated a married attending, Meredith Grey. As much as it was weird to accept the fact that both women that fell for the same guy had fallen for each other, there was no hostility towards their relationship.

And then in the middle of their morning rounds, Addison blurted out the question, catching Meredith by surprise.

"What?" she said. "I mean, I'm honoured, but..why?" Addison raised an eyebrow at her.  
"Why? Well you're the other owner of Doc, and I figured we could walk them together everyday and there's no need for travelling. Plus, the house is too big for one person to live in." she explained.  
Meredith blinked, still surprised by the invitation. "But... but what do I do with my house?" she asked. And at that, Addison looked up to her with a smile.  
"You consider that." she said, then left Meredith in the middle of the hallway with her mouth gaping.

By lunch, Meredith had already made up her mind. It was only how she needed to say it. She settled her tray down at the lunch table with her fellow interns, taking a brief glance to Izzie. The taller blonde smiled, the twinkle in her eyes told her that something was going on. Something good, for Izzie at least.

"Meredith, there's something I need to tell you." she said cheerfully, her brown eyes shifting to Alex.  
"Oh, really? There's something I need to tell you too." Meredith countered. The glance to Alex had definitely meant something, and Meredith was betting that whatever Izzie is going to tell her, is going to cause some problem for her. As though catching the same reaction from Meredith, Izzie wasted no time to blurt out the news.

"I'm moving in with Alex"  
"I'm moving in with Addison." the both announce in unison, then stared at each other only to realise what the other party had said.

Cristina and George stared at the both of them in surprised, anticipating something as the two blondes looked to each other wordlessly.

"What's going to happen to the house?" Cristina asked, biting into the sandwich in her hands.

"Crap." Meredith said. Then, George looked up with a shrug.

"I could buy it." he offered. "I mean, if you don't mind."

Meredith turned to him in surprise.

"Really? I mean, you would do that?" she asked, diving the spoon into the yoghurt.

"Yea, Callie and I need a place to live in. A _proper_ place to live in." he explained with a laugh.

And without consideration, Meredith nodded. "Alright. Yea, sure." she said, turning to Izzie who gave a happy shrug as she leaned towards Alex with a kiss.

"But none of you is to tell her." George instructed, his gaze falling onto each of them as he said that. "I want to give her a surprise."

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Derek briefed his staff of Neurology for the morning and handed the chart in his hands to a waiting nurse. Things in New York remained the same, with the addition of a few people. And like Addison, when asked about issues regarding the marriage, he had said "It's a long story.", and always managed a smile at the end of the sentence.

He turned away from his staff, pinning the pen to the labcoat that he had worn for years and headed towards the next patient's room when he heard a voice from behind.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Derek stopped, waiting for the person to catch up with him. "Are you available? I need a consult." he sighed, taking a breathe in preparation as he turned around to face the person.

Looking up at the face, Derek smiled, but only professionally. "Yes, I am, Dr. Sloan."

It was a new beginning for everyone.

* * *

**A/N :** Ok, so there will be a sequel. But I'm just wondering what you guys would prefer to read. Would you prefer I include bits of how Derek is dealing with his life in New York (with Mark) or leave that out? I may be bringing Derek back towards the end of the sequel... Hmm. Well, tell me what you guys think! 


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